MOST DEFINITELY THE WORST HARDCORE / METALCORE / GRINDCORE BLOGSPOT ON THE NET

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VOTE WEBMASTER FOR PRESIDENT 2012 (SO THAT FILTHY HALF-BREEF NEGROID HAS NO CHANCE OF RUNNING THE SECOND TERM ONLY TO RISK HIMSELF FROM BEING TORCHED ON A BURNING KKKROSS)!





THE TRANSCENDENCE TO A PINK LAYOUT IS THE FINAL MANIFESTATION OF MY EXTREME HOMOSEXUALITY I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO REPRESS ENTIRELY THROUGHOUT MY MISERABLY CONFUSED LIFE! I CAN'T HIDE THIS MY BLATANT HORMONES ANY LONGER! PLEASE FUCK ME WITH YOUR AIDS STICK YOU HOLY FUCKING FAGGOTS?

DISCLAIMER: IN ORDER TO FIT IN WITH EVERY OTHER HALF-ASSED LAW-ABIDING PUSSY-ASS ALBUM BLOGS OUT ON THE NET, I WILL HAVE TO REMIND ALL YOU PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENICS THAT I DO NOT HOST ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE BUT MERELY REDIRECT YOU TO LINKS OF RIPPED ALBUMS THAT SOMEHOW MIRACULOUSLY PRE-EXISTED ON THE INTERNET DUE TO STRANGE FORCES OF NATURE. PIRATE THESE ALBUMS AT YOUR OWN CONSEQUENTIAL RISKS YOU FUCKING COWARDLY METALHEAD FAGGOTS.

(BOOKMARK THIS SITE SO YOUR OBESELY UNEMPLOYED MOTHER REALIZES THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE BEEN JERKING OFF TO WITH HER INTERNET BILLS)


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Showing posts with label THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU. Show all posts
Showing posts with label THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU - WORSE THAN ALONE

1. Glory Kingdom
2. Given Life
3. To Catch A Tiger
4. Marvin's Jungle
5. Garden's
6. If They Holler
7. Retort
8. League
9. Serpentine
10. I'll Make My Own Hours


BRIEF REVIEW:

OCCASSIONALLY I'D LIKE TO REFLECT MY LIFE EVERY NOW AND THEN AND PAINFULLY RECOGNIZE THE SAD FUCKING GIMP I ACTUALLY AM TO THIS WORLD. HMM, LET'S SEE... I'M A FAT, MIDDLE AGED BALDING SOCIAL CASUALTY WHO STILL LIVES IN MY PARENTS' BASEMENT, WITH NO STABLE INCOME NOR A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. I'VE ATTEMPTED FOR ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS WITH REASONABLE SUCCESS, UNTIL THE MINUTE WE ARRANGE A DATE IN REAL LIFE AND THEY WITNESS MY LESS-THAN-DESIRABLE SELF. EVERY TIME I TRY TO CALL AN OLD FRIEND, THEY'RE TOO BUSY WITH THEIR WIVES AND CHILDREN, LEAVING ME HERE WITH MY SIX PACKS OF BEER ON A NIGHTLY BASIS DRINKING MY MISERABLE LIFE AWAY. I DON'T DO LAUNDRY, CAN'T DRIVE NOR COOK... BUT WORST OF ALL, I'M NOT EVEN CIRCUMCIZED! WAHH! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT'S SO FUCKING ATROCIOUS?? I FIND MYSELF TO BE A VERY SOCIALLY-ACCEPTABLE MAN WHO BATHES AND SHAVES! WHY IS IT THAT I TURN OFF AS MANY FEMALES AS I DO EMPLOYERS WHEN I DESPERATELY ATTEMPT TO SEEK FOR A CAREER?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY HORRENDOUS SELF? HELP!!!!! MAKE SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND, WEBMASTER... PLEASE? I'VE CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE BEFORE BUT THE THOUGHT OF KILLING MYSELF MAKES ME SHITSTAIN MY PANTS SO SEVERELY THAT MY MOTHER GROUNDS ME FOR MAKING HER USE BLEACH TO GET IT OFF!! SOMETIMES I WANT TO STAND UP TO HER BUT ONLY TO SUBSEQUENTLY HAVE HER KICKING MY ASS EVERY TIME DUE TO MY INABILITY TO DEFEND MYSELF EVEN WITH A SHINY ARMOUR. I CAN'T TAKE LIFE ANYMORE!!

I WALLOW IN SELF-HATE AND PITY AND BARELY EARN ENOUGH TO OPERATE THIS WEBSITE ANY LONGER. WOULD SOMEBODY TAKE ME IN AS A ROOMMATE PLEASE? THIS WOULD POSSIBLY CUT DOWN MY EXPENSES AND PLUS, YOU BENEFIT A LOT QUICKER FROM ALL THIS SHITTY FUCKING INTOLERABLE CRAP I UPLOAD ON A DAILY BASIS!

Friday, March 27, 2009

THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU - AN INCH OF GOLD FOR AN INCH OF TIME

1. Clarissa Explains Cuntainment
2. Don't Get Blood On My Prada Shoes
3. Like A Cat
4. Jesus And Tori
5. My Sharona (The Knack-Cover)


BRIEF REVIEW:

"AN INCH OF GOLD FOR AN INCH OF TIME"? WOW, THESE FUCKING IDIOTS OBVIOUSLY AREN'T MUSICIANS NOW, ARE THEY? WHAT A BUNCH OF PRETENTIOUSLY GREEDY AND VAIN FAGGOTS.

I'VE ALREADY SAID ENOUGH ABOUT THIS STUPID FUCKING BAND. NOBODY CARES ABOUT HOW "ARTSY" YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN GET WITH YOUR EXPERIMENTAL-SCREAMO-BUTTFUCK GENRES. ALL THAT MATTERS IS IN THE END, I'M ABLE TO MASTURBATE TO YOUR EROTIC HIGH PITCHED PREPUBSCENT SCREAMING AND BLOW A JIZZ SO FAR DOWN SOUTH THAT IT IMPREGNATES A PENGUIN IN ANTARCTICA. LOOKS LIKE YOUR BELOVED WEBMASTER FINALLY HAS A NEXT OF KIN!

SO SCREAM, MY DARLING SCREAM OUT OF YOUR ABUNDANCE OF ESTROGEN HORMONES! BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING AROUSED TONIGHT OFF THIS PIECE OF SHIT ALBUM I THINK I'LL PLUG A WELL-LIT CANDLE INTO MY ASS AND FART INTO A GAS STATION. THE PROJECTING POWER OF MY ANUS CAN PROPEL CANNONS THAT COULD HAVE MADE HITLER WIN THE SECOND WORLD WAR, IF PROPERLY UTILIZED!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU - MONGREL



BRIEF REVIEW:

I HAVE NO CLUE AS TO WHY THIS TYPE OF BANDS HAVE TO GO BEYOND THE POINT OF EXISTING, MUCH LESS RELEASING ANOTHER ALBUM ON TOP OF THEIR 100,000 PRE-EXISTING HEAPS OF GARBAGE DESPITE OF REALISING THEIR SHIT STINKS HORRENDOUSLY. SERIOUSLY, WHY WOULD YOU REQUIRE TWO VOCALISTS TO APPROACH YOUR EXPERIMENTAL FAUX-GRIND NOISECORE GARBAGE? DID YOUR FUCKING TOURING MANAGER WANT A SHARE OF THE PIE?

I LOVE HOW BANDS WITH TWO VOCALISTS EVENTUALLY EITHER END UP KICKING OUT ONE OF THE VOCALISTS, OR FALTER COMPLETELY WITH NO PROGRESSIVE SUCCESS. YOU STUPID FUCKS, WHY WOULD WE NEED TO LISTEN TO TWO STAGED PITBULLS GROWLING AT EACH OTHER IN A COMPETITION OF STAGE PRESENCE? WHAT IS THIS, ROMAN GLADIATOR? WHY WOULD WE NEED TWO PEOPLE TO CONSECUTIVELY SCREAM AT EACH OTHER IN TURNS? I GET THAT ENOUGH IN MY HOUSEHOLD WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, NO NEED TO REMIND ME OF MY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY THAT HAS HURT ME FROM MY HEART TO MY BUM, YOU INSENSITIVE DICKFUCKS. THOSE TWO VOCALISTS BACK THEN WHEN THE BAND WAS FIRST ESTABLISHED PROBABLY HAD A SEVERELY GAY RELATIONSHIP WHERE THEIR DOMESTIC GROCERY ISSUES HAVE TAKEN A NEW HEIGHT. MIND YOUR OWN PERSONAL BUSINESS IN YOUR OWN BEDROOM YOU FLAMBOYANTLY GAY FAGGOTS!

AND I FOUND IT HILARIOUS THAT THE ONE VOCALIST RETRACTED THEIR MYSPACE PAGE UPON HIS DEPARTURE FROM THE BAND, DEFENDING IT AS "WELL IT'S INITIALLY MY MYSPACE PAGE SO NOW I'M SHUTTING IT DOWN. OH AND BY THE WAY, THEY DIDN'T KICK ME OUT... I QUIT!" HAHAHA. CALM YOUR HORMONES YOU DRAMATIC FUCKING SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY CRAWLING OUT OF THE CLOSET.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU - PUT ON YOUR ROSEY RED GLASSES

1. Blue Dress/Don't Get Blood on My Prada Shoes
2. Jesus and Tori
3. Document. Grace Budd
4. If These Bullets Could Talk
5. Bambi the Hooker and a Case of Beer
6. Empty Calm
7. Civeta Dei

BRIEF REVIEW:

BACK IN RETROSPECTIVE, WHEN I WAS IN GRADE NINE AND GOT INTO THIS RIDICULOUS TREND OF FAGGOT SCENE GRIND WHEN YOU STUPID FUCKING PATHETIC LOSERS WERE STILL DROOLING OVER YOUR ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT RECORDS OF BLINK 182 AND SHITKNOT (THAT ARE SIGNED TO INTERNATIONALLY ELITE CORPORATE RECORDS YOU FUCKING DUMBASSES). I'VE ALREADY REALIZED HOW SUPERIOR I WILL BE ONE DAY FAR ABOVE THE EXISTENCE OF YOU SAD, SAD FAGGOTS. THAT IS, UNTIL I GREW UP ONE DAY AND REALIZED WHAT A FUCKING WORTHLESS ASSMUNCH VIRGIN I HAVE ACTUALLY BECOME WHILE THOSE DICKHEADS IN MY HIGH SCHOOL WHO PICKED ON MY SMALL, SORRY ASS QUICKLY BECAME PROMINENT LAWYERS, DOCTORS AND STRIP DANCERS WHILE I BECAME EVEN MORE OF A SORE OBESE LOSER WHO CHEWS ON HIS FINGERNAILS AND DROOLS AND CUMS ALL OVER HIS KEYBOARD ON A DAILY BASIS UNTIL HIS CAPS LOCK KEY IS PERMANENTLY STUCK. BUT HEY... AT LEAST I RUN A FUCKING SHIT ASS BLOG THAT NOBODY EVER VISITS AND DOWNLOADS FROM... THAT BRINGS AT LEAST SOME VALUE TO MY DEPLETED VALUE OF EXISTENCE... RIGHT GUYS? RIGHT? TALK TO ME? PLEASE?!!!

FUCK, I'M SO HORNY I'M GOING TO STICK MY DICK INTO A RUNNING WOOD CHIPPER AND PLEASURABLY ENJOY MY WHOLE ENTIRE TWIGGY BODY GETTING SUCKED IN. I'LL HAPPILY COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPRAY CHUTE AIMED AT MY SHIT SCHOOL YOU ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKERS. REVENGE IS SO SWEET WHEN IT'S PERFORMED AT ITS FINEST! MAN, IF ONLY I WAS THE THIRD ACCOMPLICE OF COLUMBINE MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKIN' MADE. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE WOULD BE THAT I'D BE THE SOLE SURVIVOR AS ONE OF THE SHOOTERS, ONLY TO BE ABLE TO RETURN BACK TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY AND STICK MY TONGUE OUT AT MY FELLOW TRAUMATIZED CLASSMATES. "NAH NAH BOO BOO, I MASSACRED FIFTY FIVE PEOPLE AND YOU DIDN'T! NAH NAH BOO BOO". I BET THE MAYOR WOULD BE SO FUCKING PROUD OF ME HE'D HAVE INSTANTLY PROMOTED ME TO THE COLORADO STATE UNIVERSITY SO I CAN DO SOMETHINING MEANINGFUL WITH MY LIFE, LIKE STUDYING VISUAL THEATRES LIKE THE BIG FAGGOT I ALREADY AM. MAN I'M GOING TO RULE THE WORLD SOMEDAY. HOLY SHIT THIS ROCKS.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU - NUCLEAR SAD NUCLEAR


BRIEF REVIEW

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT THE NAME OF THIS BAND, I THINK ABOUT THE DIALOGUE EXCHANGED WHEN THE FAGGOT BAND ATTEMPTS TO LURE UNDERAGED PRE-ADOLESCENTS INTO THEIR MAN-LOVE TOURING VAN.
"HEY LITTLE KID, THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU!"
"UMM, LOOKS LIKE MY WHAT, MISTER?"
"YOUR AGE!"
"WELL, OF COURSE IT IS MISTER, I AM A YOUNG SIXTH GRADER!"
"WELL THEN, JUST AS I THOUGHT! WELL LITTLE BUDDY, I'VE GOT A LOLLIPOP STUCK IN THE BOTTOM OF THIS BIG BLACK EMPTY GARBAGE BAG, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU TRY TO FIND IT FOR ME AND THEN WE'LL GO BACK TO MY TOURING VAN FOR SOME 'ROCK AND ROLL'?"
(DON'T DARE FUCKING LAUGH AT THAT SCENARIO BECAUSE THE PERMANENTLY SCARRED SURVIVOR WAS ME YOU FUCKING IMMORAL FAGGOTS!!!!!!)

I KNEW THERE ARE HIDDEN MESSAGES BEHIND GAY ASS BAND NAMES LIKE THIS. FIRST AS I'VE GOTTEN INTO THIS VERY UNFORTUNATE MUSIC, I COULDN'T FATHOM WHY IN THE FUCKING WORLD A "GRINDCORE" BAND WOULD NAME THEMSELVES SUCH TESTOSTERONE-LACKING ABSURDITY. ARE THEY THAT CREATIVE AND INSIGHTFUL THAT NOBODY CAN COMPREHEND THEIR ESOTERIC ARTISTRY, OR DO THEY JUST SMOKE A COPIOUS AMOUNT OF FUCKING HARLEM CRACK? YOU ANSWER ME YOU FUCKING RETARDOS. THAT WAS BEFORE I LEARNED MUCH ON, THAT BANDS LIKE THESE WEREN'T EXACTLY THE TRADITIONAL SENSE OF 'GRIND', BUT IT WAS A FAUX-'GRIND', DIFFERING FROM THE FORMER DISMEMBER YOUR MOTHER BEFORE EATING HER FETUS AND THEN MATE YOUR FATHER BEFORE PROSTITUTING YOUR DECEASED SISTER BULLSHIT. OH BABY!

OH GOD, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. SPEAKING OF ALL THIS SEXY HOMOEROTIC SNUFF CONTENT HAS GOTTEN ME A BONER NOW, PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I FINISH UP THIS UPDATE AT A MODERATELY SLOWER PACE BY STICKING MY LEFT HAND DOWN MY PELVIS REGION. THAT'S RIGHT I'M A FUCKING LEFTIE, YOU FAGGOTS. NOT IN THE COMMON HABITS OF EVERYDAY LIFE THOUGH, JUST SOLELY WHEN I MASTURBATE MY CROOKED ANACONDA. WHAT MORE CAN YOU FUCKING EXPECT FROM SOME ASSWIPE WHO GREW UP IN THE MOST DISTORTEDLY GIMPY FASHION POSSIBLE YOU APATHETIC FUCK-MAGGOTS?

THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE THE THICK INCHES OF MY ENORMOUSLY BLACK DICK