THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU - NUCLEAR SAD NUCLEAR

01. The Devil\'s Dick Disaster? 3:22

02. Texas Dolly ? 3:01

03. Clarissa Explains Cuntainment ? 3:03

04. Track Four ? 0:33

05. The Proud Parent\'s Convention Held in the ER? 2:36

06. An Aptly Fictional Descriptio ? 5:32

07. Like a Cat ? 3:30

08. Remembrance Dialogue ? 7:02

09. An Exercise in Self Portraiture: Go Shoot Yourself ? 1:55

10. Operating On a Re-Run Episode ? 2:55

11. Track Eleven ? 0:35

12. Category ? 5:08

BRIEF REVIEW

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT THE NAME OF THIS BAND, I THINK ABOUT THE DIALOGUE EXCHANGED WHEN THE FAGGOT BAND ATTEMPTS TO LURE UNDERAGED PRE-ADOLESCENTS INTO THEIR MAN-LOVE TOURING VAN.

"HEY LITTLE KID, THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE YOU!"

"UMM, LOOKS LIKE MY WHAT, MISTER?"

"YOUR AGE!"

"WELL, OF COURSE IT IS MISTER, I AM A YOUNG SIXTH GRADER!"

"WELL THEN, JUST AS I THOUGHT! WELL LITTLE BUDDY, I'VE GOT A LOLLIPOP STUCK IN THE BOTTOM OF THIS BIG BLACK EMPTY GARBAGE BAG, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU TRY TO FIND IT FOR ME AND THEN WE'LL GO BACK TO MY TOURING VAN FOR SOME 'ROCK AND ROLL'?"

(DON'T DARE FUCKING LAUGH AT THAT SCENARIO BECAUSE THE PERMANENTLY SCARRED SURVIVOR WAS ME YOU FUCKING IMMORAL FAGGOTS!!!!!!)

I KNEW THERE ARE HIDDEN MESSAGES BEHIND GAY ASS BAND NAMES LIKE THIS. FIRST AS I'VE GOTTEN INTO THIS VERY UNFORTUNATE MUSIC, I COULDN'T FATHOM WHY IN THE FUCKING WORLD A "GRINDCORE" BAND WOULD NAME THEMSELVES SUCH TESTOSTERONE-LACKING ABSURDITY. ARE THEY THAT CREATIVE AND INSIGHTFUL THAT NOBODY CAN COMPREHEND THEIR ESOTERIC ARTISTRY, OR DO THEY JUST SMOKE A COPIOUS AMOUNT OF FUCKING HARLEM CRACK? YOU ANSWER ME YOU FUCKING RETARDOS. THAT WAS BEFORE I LEARNED MUCH ON, THAT BANDS LIKE THESE WEREN'T EXACTLY THE TRADITIONAL SENSE OF 'GRIND', BUT IT WAS A FAUX-'GRIND', DIFFERING FROM THE FORMER DISMEMBER YOUR MOTHER BEFORE EATING HER FETUS AND THEN MATE YOUR FATHER BEFORE PROSTITUTING YOUR DECEASED SISTER BULLSHIT. OH BABY!

OH GOD, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. SPEAKING OF ALL THIS SEXY HOMOEROTIC SNUFF CONTENT HAS GOTTEN ME A BONER NOW, PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I FINISH UP THIS UPDATE AT A MODERATELY SLOWER PACE BY STICKING MY LEFT HAND DOWN MY PELVIS REGION. THAT'S RIGHT I'M A FUCKING LEFTIE, YOU FAGGOTS. NOT IN THE COMMON HABITS OF EVERYDAY LIFE THOUGH, JUST SOLELY WHEN I MASTURBATE MY CROOKED ANACONDA. WHAT MORE CAN YOU FUCKING EXPECT FROM SOME ASSWIPE WHO GREW UP IN THE MOST DISTORTEDLY GIMPY FASHION POSSIBLE YOU APATHETIC FUCK-MAGGOTS?

THE NUMBER TWELVE LOOKS LIKE THE THICK INCHES OF MY ENORMOUSLY BLACK DICK