02 SLAVEDRIVER
03 SORTING THROUGH THE CULTURAL GARBAGE
04 FUCK BUGS
05 UNTITLED
I OBVIOUSLY KNOW THIS, BECAUSE I AM GROTESQUELY FAT AND HOPELESS MYSELF.
MY DIABETIC OBESITY IS SUCH A PREVALENT ISSUE AT TIMES THAT I CAN'T EVEN EXTEND MY FUCKING THICK TUBEY ARMS TO THE BACK OF MY REAR FOR THE PURPOSE OF POSSIBLY SHAVING MY ASSHAIRS. AS RESULT, THE ORGANIC COMPOUND GROWS INTO VARIOUS THICK JUNGLES COMPARABLE ONLY TO WILD REGIONS OF AMAZON. WHENEVER I SIT DOWN, MY ASSHAIR GETS CRAMMED BACK DEEPLY INTO MY SORRY BUTT TUBE. WORST OF ALL, AT TIMES I RECALL THE INABILITY TO SUCCESSFULLY SHIT INTO THE TOILET DUE TO THE SMALL NUGGET PELLETS BEING LODGED UP THE VILE NESTS OF MY ANUS HAIR!!
OH GOD HELP ME!!
SOMETIMES I BEND OVER IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER, WHO I LIVE WITH, IN ORDER FOR HER TO DO THE SHAVING JOB FOR ME. AS SHE TRICKLES DOWN MY SENSITIVE ANAL REGIONS, I GIGGLE IN FANTASY DUE TO MY SEVERE SEXUAL DEPRIVATION. I THEN PROJECT AN INTENSE DIARRHEA-LOADED FART RIGHT INTO HER FACE AND TURNS HER FACIAL FEATURE RESEMBLENT TO HARRIET TUBMAN! HAHAHAHAHA! I THEN PROCEED TO BEAT HER DUE TO MY SEVERE DISTASTE FOR ANYTHING PARTIALLY RESEMBLING NIGGERS. SHE GETS MAD AND CUTS MY INTERNET ACCESS, WHICH AT TIMES EXPLAINS MY LACK OF UPDATES FOR DAYS!!!
THIS SUCKS. I AM REACHING QUARTER LIFE CRISIS AND STILL MY PRIMARY FEAR IS BEING GROUNDED BY MY PARENTAL GUARDIANS. PLEASE GOD, SOMEONE HOOK ME UP WITH AN OCCUPATION PACKAGING JELLY BEANS INTO CONSUMER BAGS OR SOMETHING!