MOST DEFINITELY THE WORST HARDCORE / METALCORE / GRINDCORE BLOGSPOT ON THE NET

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VOTE WEBMASTER FOR PRESIDENT 2012 (SO THAT FILTHY HALF-BREEF NEGROID HAS NO CHANCE OF RUNNING THE SECOND TERM ONLY TO RISK HIMSELF FROM BEING TORCHED ON A BURNING KKKROSS)!





THE TRANSCENDENCE TO A PINK LAYOUT IS THE FINAL MANIFESTATION OF MY EXTREME HOMOSEXUALITY I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO REPRESS ENTIRELY THROUGHOUT MY MISERABLY CONFUSED LIFE! I CAN'T HIDE THIS MY BLATANT HORMONES ANY LONGER! PLEASE FUCK ME WITH YOUR AIDS STICK YOU HOLY FUCKING FAGGOTS?

DISCLAIMER: IN ORDER TO FIT IN WITH EVERY OTHER HALF-ASSED LAW-ABIDING PUSSY-ASS ALBUM BLOGS OUT ON THE NET, I WILL HAVE TO REMIND ALL YOU PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENICS THAT I DO NOT HOST ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE BUT MERELY REDIRECT YOU TO LINKS OF RIPPED ALBUMS THAT SOMEHOW MIRACULOUSLY PRE-EXISTED ON THE INTERNET DUE TO STRANGE FORCES OF NATURE. PIRATE THESE ALBUMS AT YOUR OWN CONSEQUENTIAL RISKS YOU FUCKING COWARDLY METALHEAD FAGGOTS.

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Showing posts with label AS I LAY DYING. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AS I LAY DYING. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

AS I LAY DYING - SHADOWS ARE SECURITY

BRIEF REVIEW:

BOO HOO HOO, AS I LAY CRYING... FUCKING CRY A NEW MYSPACE RIVER YOU FUCKING NU-METAL TOURING SELLOUT FAGGOTS. A BAND CANNOT POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE THAN A BAND THAT RECENTLY TOURED WITH SHITKNOT AND DEVILDRIVERS... INTRODUCING AS I LAY FRYING ON A STOVE OF FUCKING SHIT MUSIC! HOLY FUCKING MAINSTREAM GIMMICKED FAGGOTRY. YOU KNOW YOUR BAND MUST FUCKING SUCK ASS AND YOU'RE DYING FOR EXPOSURE IF YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED TO TOUR WITH SMELLY SHITKNOT IN ORDER TO GET AN OUNCE OF EXPOSURE.

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THE FUCKING NU-METAL MALLCORE MOVEMENT A DECADE AGO WHEN FUCKING CLOWNY LITTLE GOTHIC LITTLE DREADLOCK FAGGOTS WEAR A DOG COLLAR LIKE THEY'RE HIDEOUS LITTLE PETS AND TUNE THEIR GUITAR DOWN TO DROP A AND PLAY THE OPEN CHORD THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SONG? I'VE HEARD FUCKING ANIMALS COMPOSE NOISE IN THEIR PLAYPENS IN THE NATIONAL ZOO YOU FUCKING MISERABLE FAGGOTS. EVERY TIME I SAW SOME MALLCORE SHITHEAD WITH TEN POUNDS OF FACIAL PIERCING INTERLOCKED WITH WALLET CHAINS HANGNIG DOWN FROM THEIR FACE ALL THE WAY TO THEIR ASS, I FUCKING RUSHED TO THE PET STORE AND ADVISED THEM THAT THEY HAD A BUNCH OF ESCAPED ANIMALS. SEEING THAT THEY'RE INFLUENCED BY FAGGOTS LIKE JONOTHAN DAVIS AND DEZ FAFARA, IT'S NO WONDER THAT THEY BARK LIKE DOGS AS WELL... HAHAHAHA. COAL CHAMBER SUCKED THE SCROTUM JUICE OUT OF MY PACKAGE. IF I HAD A FUCKING DOG, I'D NAME HIM FAFARA TOO (EXCEPT I'LL GLADLY REPLACE "FARA" WITH "GGOT".)

THESE NU-METAL GOTH HEADS WERE FUNNY BACK THEN BECAUSE BECAUSE TEN YEARS DOWN THE LINE WITH THE FAILURE OF THEIR HORRENDOUSLY NON-TALENT NU-METAL BANDS, THESE DRONES EXPERIENCE SOME BITTER FUCKING BAND (AS WELL AS GAY RELATIONSHIP) BREAKUPS, THEY REALIZE THE INABILITY GO ATTAIN A JOB WITH THE NINETY-FIVE PERMANENT HOLES AND INK MARKS ON THEIR FUCKING FACES. YOU FUCKING PATHETIC NU-METAL ASSCLOWNS. I RECOMMEND Y'ALL GO JOIN THE CIRCUS YOU FUCKING MISERABLE HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT FAGGOTS.

HOLY SHIT JUST AS I THOUGHT MY LIFE SUCKED, YOU GOTHIC INDUSTRIAL-RAMMESTEIN GOTHIC TRENCHCOAT ANIMALS ALWAYS MANAGE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER LIKE THE THERAPEUTIC CAGED ANIMALS YOU ARE.

Friday, May 8, 2009

AS I LAY DYING - FRAIL WORDS COLLAPSE


BRIEF REVIEW:

AS I'M SIFTING THROUGH THE REVIEWS I WROTE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS BEFORE THIS ONE, GOD, OH MY GOD THE HORRENDOUSNESS OF IT ALL. THEY SUCK SO FUCKING MUCH. I WONDER HOW MOST OF YOU DEDICATED FOLLOWERS MANAGE TO DEVOTE YOURSELVES TO THE CONTINUOUS GARBAGE UPDATES ON MY FUCKING BLOG. WHAT A WASTE OF SPACE ON THE CYBER-WORLD. WHAT A BUNCH OF CROCK. DO YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR GODDAMN TIME? GO RIDE A BIKE THROUGH A CITY PARK OR SOMETHING YOU DUMBASSES. STOP CROWDING IN FRONT OF YOUR CUM-STAINED MONITOR SCREENS. GO TAKE A SHOWER TO STERILIZE THE PUTRID SMELL FROM YOUR JUNGLE ARMPITS AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...

WIPE YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLES WHEN YOU'RE DONE TAKING A SHIT OF ALL THE LEFT-OVER BEANS YOU'VE VIGOROUSLY DEVOURED LAST NIGHT FROM YOUR ROOMMATE'S CABIN OF ANNUAL LEFTOVERS!

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, SOMETIMES I LOOK AT MY EROTIC PILE OF SHIT GET A HARD-ON. I WONDER HOW SOMETHING THAT EXCRETES OUT OF THE DEPTH OF MY BOWEL CAN POSSIBLY BE SO SEXY AND ELEGANT. SOME OF THEM EVEN WIGGLE AROUND LIKE THEY'RE LIVING SPECIES! WOW. BEING FASCINATED WITH THESE BIOLOGICAL ORGANISMS, I THEN STICK A STRAW RIGHT INTO THE UNFLUSHED TOILET BASIN AND SUCK IT RIGHT INTO MY SYSTEM FOR ECO-FRIENDLY RECYCLING.

DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I AM GREEN

SO ON A LIGHTER NOTE, TODAY I TOOK A WALK AROUND THE PARK AND NOTICED SOMETHING FUNNY IN THE LAKE... A REFLECTION OF MY BIG, FAT, AND BALDINGLY UNAPPEALING VIRGIN SELF! IT WAS SO DISTURBINGLY GROTESQUE I HAD A FUCKING STROKE. AS THE PARAMEDICS REACHED THE SCENE, THEY LAUGHED SO HARD AT THE ABSURDITY OF MY PHYSICAL OBESITY THAT THEY PLAYED TRAMPOLINE ON MY STOMACH, WHICH THEY PROCEEDED TO TAKE A DUMP ON BEFORE LEAVING. I SWEAR TO GOD I DIED NINE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE PROCESS, HOLY CRAP. (AND THEN I WOKE UP AND REALIZED I'M NOT A CAT HEHEHEHEHE)

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A PATRIOTIC IRAQI FLAGPOLE