MOST DEFINITELY THE WORST HARDCORE / METALCORE / GRINDCORE BLOGSPOT ON THE NET

HTTP://WWW.DEADONTHEDANCEFLOOR.COM
HTTP://DEADONTHEDANCEFLOOR.BLOGSPOT.COM

VOTE WEBMASTER FOR PRESIDENT 2012 (SO THAT FILTHY HALF-BREEF NEGROID HAS NO CHANCE OF RUNNING THE SECOND TERM ONLY TO RISK HIMSELF FROM BEING TORCHED ON A BURNING KKKROSS)!





THE TRANSCENDENCE TO A PINK LAYOUT IS THE FINAL MANIFESTATION OF MY EXTREME HOMOSEXUALITY I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO REPRESS ENTIRELY THROUGHOUT MY MISERABLY CONFUSED LIFE! I CAN'T HIDE THIS MY BLATANT HORMONES ANY LONGER! PLEASE FUCK ME WITH YOUR AIDS STICK YOU HOLY FUCKING FAGGOTS?

DISCLAIMER: IN ORDER TO FIT IN WITH EVERY OTHER HALF-ASSED LAW-ABIDING PUSSY-ASS ALBUM BLOGS OUT ON THE NET, I WILL HAVE TO REMIND ALL YOU PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENICS THAT I DO NOT HOST ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE BUT MERELY REDIRECT YOU TO LINKS OF RIPPED ALBUMS THAT SOMEHOW MIRACULOUSLY PRE-EXISTED ON THE INTERNET DUE TO STRANGE FORCES OF NATURE. PIRATE THESE ALBUMS AT YOUR OWN CONSEQUENTIAL RISKS YOU FUCKING COWARDLY METALHEAD FAGGOTS.

(BOOKMARK THIS SITE SO YOUR OBESELY UNEMPLOYED MOTHER REALIZES THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE BEEN JERKING OFF TO WITH HER INTERNET BILLS)


TOTALLY ANONYMOUS AND ABSOLUTELY NO REGISTRATION REQUIRED!

Showing posts with label ARCHITECT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ARCHITECT. Show all posts

Thursday, April 9, 2009

ARCHITECT - GHOST OF THE SALT WATER MACHINES

1. Camelot in Smithereens
2. Uninventing the Wheel
3. Lamplighter
4. Death and Taxes
5. Casus Belli
6. I Am Become Death
7. House of 1000 Habeus Corpses
8. Dog and Pony Show
9. Traitor


BRIEF REVIEW:

REDUNDANTLY SPEAKING, MY PENIS IS WHAT IS THE "GHOST OF THE SALT WATER MACHINE", JUST BECAUSE AS PRAISED BY A DOZEN OF OTHER MEN, MY LOAD IS FILLED WITH NUTRITIONALLY SALTY VITAMINS! EXCEPT WHEN I'M NOT BLOWING A HUGE LOAD INTO YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, YOU'D BE TASTING SOME SWEET, SWEET CANDY LIQUID THAT IS THE PRODUCT OF MY DIABETIC FLUIDS. IT'S LIKE DRINKING CANDY WATER, EXCEPT WITHOUT THE TOOTHACHE IN THE LONG RUN YOU FUCKING HORNY CONTRADICTIONS TO HETEROSEXUALITY!

ON THE TOPIC OF INTERACTING WITH DIFFERENT FORMS OF LIQUID, I ONCE WENT SWIMMING IN A PUBLIC POOL. BEING THE PUSSY ASS NON-BOUYANT FAGGOT I AM, I USUALLY TRY MY BEST TO REMAIN IN THE SHALLOW END IN ORDER TO AVOID DROWNING. HOWEVER THIS TIME AS I WAS WALKING ON THE PLATFORM, I SLIPPED OFF THE WET EDGE AND LANDED STRAIGHT INTO THE DEEP POOL. HAVING TO SLAP THE WATER AND DESPERATELY THROWING DOWN TO SAVE MY LIFE, I WAS SCARED SHITLESS AND ACCIDENTALLY SHAT MY PANTS IN THE WATER. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE WATER SURROUNDING MY FIVE FEET OF MY RADIUS WENT COMPLETELY BROWN AND THERE WERE LITERALLY ONE SHIT NUGGET FLOATING AROUND ME. I WAS SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED I SUBMERGED MY HEAD UNDERWATER TO AVOID THE UNTHINKABLE THAT WAS NEXT TO COME.

AS A CHAMPION SPORT SWIMMER SWIMMED BY THE RADIUS OF MY SHIT, SHE INTERVALLY REARED HER HEAD OUT THE WATER TO CATCH HER BREATH. HOWEVER UNBEKNOWNST TO HER, THE MINUTE SHE OPENED HER MOUTH AND BREATHED IN WHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS FRESH OXYGEN, SHE SUCKED MY BROWN POOP NUGGET INTO HER WIDENED ORAL CAPACITY. AS SHE WAS CHOKING ON THIS HARD OBJECT DOWN HER THROAT, SHE WAS FIGHTING TO MAINTAIN HER CONTROL OF THE WATER. AFTER STRUGGLING FOR A FEW MINUTES WITH EVERYONE STARING AT HER, THE LIFEGUARD ENTERED THE POOL AND RESCUED HER BY PULLING HER OUT THE WATER.

AS THE SWIMMER WAS SEMI-CONSCIOUS AND ALMOST INCAPACITATED, THE LIFEGUARD DECIDES TO PERFORM CPR BY MOUTH-TO-MOUTH CONTACT WHILE PUMPING HER CHEST. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE SWIMMER REVIVES CONSCIOUSNESS AND FUCKING PROJECTS THE CHEWED UP SHIT RIGHT INTO THE LIFEGUARD'S MOUTH!! OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT WAS LIKE 2GIRLS1CUP FUCKING ALL OVER AGAIN! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! I NEVER KNEW WHAT'S ON THE INTERNET CAN BE SO ACCURATELY DEPICTED IN REALITY!!

I NOW WEAR A DIAPER WHEREVER I GO TO AVOID HUMILITATING SITUATIONS LIKE THE ONE DEPICTED ABOVE. FUCK YOU, MY BLADDER!!!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

ARCHITECT - ALL IS NOT LOST


1. The Awakening
2. Sic Semper Tyrannis
3. 11
4. Trepanning For Oil
5. 13
6. Hell Of The Upsidedown Sinners
7. The End Of It
8. Collapse Of The War Engine
9. 33
10. Broke Dick Dog
11. The Giving Tree


BRIEF REVIEW:

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, THIS IS A FUCKING POLITICALLY-CRITICAL BAND WHO DESPITE OF CLAIMING NOT TO "SUCK ON CORPORATE DICKS" ON THEIR PROFILE, THEY STILL DEEP-THROTTLE METALBLADE'S DICKS FOR THE FEEL OF A MUSICAL CONTRACT? THE SHEER HYPOCRISY OF THIS IS AS BLATANT AS IF I WERE TO INSULT THE HOMOSEXUALS, YOU FUCKING PRETENTIOUS NUTCASE FAGGOTS. YOU ASSWIPES OUGHT TO BE POLITICIANS AND WORK IN THE INSTITUTIONS THAT YOU LOATHE SO MUCH YOURSELVES, YOU SELF-CONTRADICTORY RAMBLING ASSHATS. HEY EVERYBODY, PLEASE DON'T JUDGE A BAND BY ITS COVER. THE VOCALIST IS VERY POSSIBLY A SECRET REPORTER FOR THE CIA ON THE CURRENT FORECAST OF YOUR FAGGOT HARDCORE/METAL SCENE! YOU'VE ALL BEEN DUPED YOU INTELLECTUALLY-DEFUNCT MINDLESS APES!

I LOVE POLITICALLY-AVID BANDS THAT ARE LEFTIST-SOCIALISTS AND CRIES ABOUT POST-MATERIALIST ISSUES THAT SHOULDN'T CONCERN THEM TO BEGIN WITH, SUCH AS THE PEOPLE DYING IN IRAQ. HEY PENIS HEADS, PERHAPS IF YOU STOPPED CRYING ABOUT RANDOM DECEASED FAGGOTS AND ACTUALLY MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR OWN LIVES, YOUR LIFE WOULD BE WORTH A LITTLE MORE THAN THOSE SENT HOME IN A CASKET (AT LEAST IT ENABLES THEIR FAMILIES TO RECEIVE A LIFETIME OF SOCIAL SUPPORT AND BENEFITS). BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT JOB DO YOU GUYS DO ANYWAYS? WHY DON'T YOU FILE OUT AN APPLICATION TO YOUR LOCAL WALMART AND EXPERIENCE WHAT ITS REALLY LIKE TO BE EXPLOITED CORPORALLY AS OPPOSED TO LIVING UNSTABLY AND TOURING THE COUNTRY EVERY OTHER WEEK, SHOUTING PARABLES OF BULLSHIT TO SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SCENE KIDS WITH NO POLITICAL BACKGROUNDS ANYWAYS, YOU FUCKING CONSPIRACY NUTS WITH NINE CATS AND AN (UNFORTUNATE) INTERNET ACCESS?

SO, WHAT WAS THAT IDEA OF YOURS ABOUT 9/11? OH HANG ON, YOUR CALL HAS BEEN FORWARDED TO THESE SHORT MESSAGES...

NOBODY CARES FAGGOT

LUCKILY, I HAD A CHANCE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH THIS INFAMOUS "KEITH" THE DAYTIME POLITICAL ACTIVIST AND NIGHT-TIME VOCALIST/TRANSVESTITE. I ASKED HIM ABOUT HIS POSITION ON VARIOUS SOCIALLY-CONTENTIOUS MATTERS... THIS IS NOT FICTITIOUS OR MADE UP GUYS, I'M ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS THIS IS HIM, DESPITE OF YOUR POSSIBLE DISBELIEF...

WEBMASTER (9:12:03 PM): SO, A QUESTION FOR YOU, KEITH IN ARCHITECT... ARE YOU A FAGGOT?

KEITH (9:14:04 PM): No I'm not, but I play one on a very notorious message board.

WEBMASTER (9:14:39 PM): IS IT THE NOTORIOUS FORUM ON EXTREMEANALPROBE.COM??

KEITH (9:14:53 PM): Maybe!

WEBMASTER (9:15:50 PM): DOES THE SECRET HOMOEROTIC SIDE OF YOUR HIDDEN PERSONALITY MANIFEST FROM THESE ONLINE ACTIVITIES?

KEITH (9:17:26 PM): Yes. Especially if I am able to get my full clown suit and make up on.

WEBMASTER (9:18:54 PM): SO YOU WERE THE CLOWN THAT WAS CALLED TO MY FOUR YEAR OLD BIRTHDAY PARTY AND SUBSEQUENTLY SCARRED ME FOR THE REST OF MY TRAUMATIZED LIFE?

KEITH (9:20:30 PM): Well I had to come back and see how my son was growing up. Your mom said if I dressed like a clown again it would remind her of when we ran a train on her at the circus and you were conceived.

WEBMASTER (9:21:58 PM): SO THE SECRET OF MY LIFE HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN REVEALED.

KEITH (9:22:49 PM): My little man is growing up so fast!
UMM... SO YEAH... BACK TO OUR LESS EMBARRASSING SUBJECT... BUT REGARDLESS, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO... KEEP TEARING DOWN THE ESTABLISHMENT AND DREAM OF A REVOLUTION SOMEDAY, MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. THE II! I HAVE FAITH IN YOUR BULLSHIT IDEOLOGIES! OH, AND BY THE WAY, AVRIL LAVIGNE CALLED TOO... SHE SAID SHE WAS IMPRESSED WITH YOUR TEENAGE ANGST AND ASKED IF YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN HER COALITION TO REBEL AGAINST AUTHORITIES? SHE PROMISES IT WILL BE FUN AND BEDTIME-FREE!

WHATEVER YOU KIDDIES DO, JUST REMEMBER...

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT



(SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THIS ALBUM IS AMAZING AND YOU MUST BE A FAGGOT OF A SHEER MAGNITUDE TO NOT LIKE THESE GUYS)