02 When Will Man Learn?
03 I Watched Friday The 13th At My Grandmother's House And She Wasn't Into It (But She Let Me Watch It Anyway)
04 Shut Up And Play Something Evil
05 Bad Lieutenant
06 Pteradactyl Shutdown
07 Who Wants To Be An Alien?
08 You're Okay, I'm Undead
09 Boris Karloff Is Dead
10 Madballs
11 Specially Made Sunglasses
12 Kentucky Fried Genetically Altered Bird-Type Animal
13 Deleted Scene (Previously Unreleased)
SPEAKING OF TAKING A LARGE DUMP (A SUBJECT I ALWAYS TAKE GREAT INTERESTS IN TALKING ABOUT ESPECIALLY IN INEXPLICABLE DETAILS), I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE TO RESPOND TO MOTHER NATURE IN THE MOST PUBLIC PREMISES. JUST AS TODAY WHEN I FELT THE URGE TO POP A FEW GOLDEN BROWN JEWELS OUT FROM MY ARTIFACT STORAGE BASE, I RAN TO MY INSTITUTION'S PUBLIC WASHROOM. HOWEVER, THERE WAS A TEMPORARY DILEMMA WHICH I COULD NOT OVERCOME AT THAT VERY TIME. YES, THAT'S RIGHT - EVEN YOUR GOD, THE GREAT WEBMASTER, IS FLAWED DUE TO A CERTAIN WEAKNESS.
THE PROBLEM I HAD TO CONFRONT WHEN TAKING A DUMP IN THE PUBLIC WASHROOMS, IS THAT I CANNOT SHIT WHEN IT'S STILL POPULATED WITH PEOPLE. WHY? BECAUSE I REFUSE TO SQUEEZE OUT MY BROWN NIGLETS INTO THE TOILET DUE TO THE AWKWARD *PLOOP* NOISE IT MAKES JUST AS IT HITS THE WATER. HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING IS IT TO HAVE OTHERS HEARING THAT AWKWARD SOUND? GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE ROOM SO I CAN SPLASH THE BASIN WATER WITH MY NASTY SHIT IN PEACE YOU FUCKING INTERFERING GIMPS!!!!!!
BUT NO, THIS HIDEOUS BALD ACNE-FACED CHINK DID NOT LEAVE. STARING FROM UNDER THE TOILET ISLE, I SAW THIS FAGGOT WALKING IN CIRCLES LIKE HE WAS PART OF AN IMMIGRANT MARCHING PARADE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS. THUS DUE TO THIS AWKWARD LACK OF COMFORT, I WAS FORCED TO SUPPRESS MY SHIT RIGHT WITHIN MY BOWEL UNTIL THE POINT IT WAS ABOUT TO VOLCANICALLY ERUPT. I WAS FUCKING TEMPTED TO STORM OUT OF THE TOILET ISLE AND SHIT ALL OVER HIS GREASY-ASS FACE. BUT NO, HE KEPT ON TRAMPLING ROUND AND ROUND LIKE A CHINESE SOLDIER. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THOSE AUTISTIC FOBS AND WHY DID WE ALLOW THEM OUT OF THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS? I THOUGHT PEARL HARBOR WAS ONLY JUST YESTERDAY!
AFTER A LONG UNFATHOMABLE PERIOD, I SLOWLY EXTRACTED MY INTESTINAL PRODUCTS IN THE SLOWEST PACE OF EXECUTION AS POSSIBLE, AS A FINAL RESORT TO DO MY OWN THING WITHOUT BEING DETECTED OF THIS AUDIBLE EMBARRASSMENT. LITTLE TO MY WONDERS, ONCE IT WAS FINALLY RELEASED INTO THE BASIN WATER, THIS FUCKING FAGGOT IMMEDIATELY CUT LOOSE AND LEFT! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS NOSEY FAGGOT?! DID HE DELIBERATELY STAY IN THE WASHROOM JUST TO HEAR THE FUCKING *PLOOP* SOUND OF MY SHIT HITTING THE WATER OR WHAT?!
I WAS SO FUCKING PISSED I DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO WIPE MY VILE BUMHOLE BEFORE GOING BACK INTO THE WORKPLACE. THE MINUTE I STOOD UP, THE TOILET AUTOMATICALLY FLUSHED DUE TO ITS ENHANCED TECHNOLOGY. WOW, THANKS YOU REDUNDANT PIECE OF JUNK. AS IF I'LL EVER TRUST A TOILET WITH A BLINKING SENSOR... WHAT THE HELL IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT, SOME FUCKING FAT HAIRY CEO EXECUTIVE JERKING OFF TO ME WHEN I WIPE THE FOUL REMNANTS OFF MY ASS AFTER I DISCHARGE A LARGE LOAD OF CRAP? FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS!