2 His Imperial Victory
3 A Massacre Prevents A War
4 Sun Of ManClick to listen to this song
5 Call To The Wolf
6 They Came Covered In Snow
7 The Escape
8 Preface To Extinction
9 Trail Of The Lonesome Pine
I TYPE WITH MY LEFT AND WANK OFF WITH MY RIGHT UNTIL I CAN'T TYPE ANYMORE DUE TO THE KEYS BEING STUCK TO THE BACKBOARD. MY FINGERS ARE STICKY AND IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT. LAST TIME I TOOK A BATH WAS IN 1957 AND BY TOTAL ACCIDENT BECAUSE I FELL INTO A FUCKING POND. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WERE BULLIED ALL YOUR LIFE. EVEN THE OLD MEN REFUSED TO FISH ME OUT SO I HAD TO DROWN FOR AN EMBARRASSING FIVE MINUTES AS THE ASPHYXIATION COMPLETELY KILLED THE CRAP OUT OF MY BRAINCELLS. BY THE TIME A WATER-TYPED POKEMON LURED ME OUT FROM THE WATER, THE OLD MEN ALL CONVERGED ON ME TO PLAY WITH MY POKEBALLS. HOLY FUCKING SUCK. HENCE THIS IS WHY I ENDED UP BEING THE WAY I AM TODAY... AN AUTISTIC DUMMIFIED RETARD WITH SEVERE DOWN SYNDROME. LIKE SYNDROME OF A DOWN. HAHAHAHAHAHA. IT'S A WONDER WHY ANYONE WOULD STILL RAPE ME, BUT I GUESS IT JUST HAPPENS THAT I'M NO LONGER TWELVE. BUT EVEN SO, I STILL POOP MY PANTS OCCASIONALLY IN NERVOUS SITUATIONS, LIKE AT A JOB INTERVIEW WHEN I WEAR SHORTS AND GET ASKED A NERVOUS QUESTION AND SQUATTTTTT! EVERYTHING COMES RIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF THE EMPLOYER'S EYES. IT'S A WONDER WHY I'VE BEEN UNEMPLOYED ALL MY LIFE. THERE'S NO JANITORIAL POSITION I APPLIED FOR THAT'S EVER HIRED ME BECAUSE EVERY JOB INTERVIEW CONSISTS OF THE EMPLOYER PLAYING ME A CHARLIE BROWN CARTOON TAPE... AND WHEN I ASK WHAT THE RELEVANCE OF IT IS, THEY POINT OUT "PIGPEN" FROM THE BATCH OF CHARACTERS AND TELL ME THAT I MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE MR. CLEAN'S HOUSE. I'M SO SICK OF PEOPLE PICKING ON ME!!!! SO I OPEN UP MY ARMPITS AND SUFFOCATE THEM TO DEATH WITH MY LETHAL BODY ODOURS. (UP TO THIS DAY I HAVE ABOUT 23,431 COUNTS OF MANSLAUGHTER CHARGES ON ME AND AS RESULT, I'M CURRENTLY SERVING A HOUSE ARREST)
LIFE RULES, IT JUST HAPPENS THAT MINE IN PARTICULAR DOESN'T. LAST TIME I TOLD THE KID'S HELP LINE ABOUT MY ISSUES THE OPERATOR LAUGHED IN MY FUCKING FACE AND TOLD ME TO TURN MY OVEN TO THE MAXIMUM BEFORE BURYING MY HEAD IN IT. THEN I GOT CAUGHT BY MY PAROLE OFFICER FOR USING A COMMUNICATIONS DEVICE AND VIOLATING MY CONDITIONS SO THEY PUT ME BACK IN THE PEN FOR A MONTH MORE WITH "BIG BEN". FUCKKKK!!!!!! I THINK I NEED A WIFE DURING THIS MIDLIFE CRISIS, BUT I CAN'T GET ONE BECAUSE I LIKE MEN. AND JUST AS I STARTED DEVELOPING A CRUSH FOR BIG BEN, HE GOT RELEASED FROM JAIL. LIKE FUCK OFF ALREADY, WHY DOES THE FORCE OF NATURE HAVE TO WORK AGAINST ME?! I'M MISERABLE.