Brief Review:
THE ONLY BLATANT MISFORTUNE IN YOUR LIFE IS OBVIOUSLY NONE OTHER THAN... YOUR PATHETIC FUCKING LIFE ITSELF! WOO! TEN POINTS FOR ME AND ZERO FOR YOU, YOU STUPID INTELLECTUALLY INEPT ASSHOLE. BY THE WAY, I'D TALK MORE BUT I THINK I'M GOING TO JACK OFF TO THE SHIT PUDDLE I'VE SQUASHED INTO MY TOILET BOWL. DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY SUBMIT THEIR POOP PHOTOS TO "RATEMYPOO.COM"? NO? GOOD, THAT'S WHY MY SHIT HAS THE HIGHEST RATINGS BECAUSE IT SCARES OFF EVERY OTHER CONTENDER ON THE WEBSITE. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY TYPING THIS SHIT UP AS I'M EATING LUNCH. IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, IT STIMULATES MY APPETITE TOTALLY. DID I TELL YOU I EAT WITH MY FOOT TOO? I CLIP THE LASAGNA IN BETWEEN MY TOES AND CONSUME THE FOOD WITH THE FLAVOUR OF THE TOE CHEESE. HOLY FUCK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO INDIA AND JOIN THE TRIBAL SAVAGES WHO HUNT FOR NASTY ASS CURRY-LIKE SUBSTANCES ALL DAY IN THE WILDERNESS. WHO NEEDS CIVILIZATION WHEN YOU CAN HAVE GROUP ORGIES WITH COUNTLESS SMELLY SRI-LANKAN ELDERS ON A NIGHTLY BASIS?! RAPING THEM NIGHTLY HAS GIVEN ME NEW PURPOSES IN LIFE ... LIKE FREEING ALL THE COCKROACHES INCARCERATED IN THEIR NASTY ASS CUNT LIPS AND THUS HELPING OUT BIODIVERSITY. I AM GOING TO WRITE A LETTER TO GREENPEACE INDICATING MY OBJECTIVES AND ASK FOR POSSIBLE SUBSIDY OR FUNDING. MY MISSION: FUCK AS MANY PAKIES AS I POSSIBLY CAN IN A LAND OF FILTHY FILTHY SRI LANKA!
WHEN THEY DENY MY REQUEST FOR FUNDING I'M GOING TO NUKE THE WHOLE WORLD JUST TO MAKE MY FATHER KIM JONG IL IN NORTH KOREA HAPPY