BOTCH - 061502

1. St. Mathew Returns To The Womb
2. C. Thomas Howell As The “Soul Man”
3. John Woo
4. Japam
5. Oma
6. Frequency Ass Bandit
7. Thank God For The Worker Bees
8. Framce
9. Third Part In A Tragedy
10. Rock Lobster
11. Transitions From Persona To Object
12. To Our Friends In The Great White North
13. Hutton’s Great Heat Engine
14. Man The Ramparts

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BRIEF REVIEW:

I'M SO FUCKING LONELY UP IN MY BASEMENT DURING THE DAWN OF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE THAT I THINK I MAY ALMOST MAKE LOVE TO A FUCKING ZOMBIE BEFORE LETTING HIM GIVE ME THE GREATEST FACE-LIFT OPERATION IN THE WORLD BY ALLOWING HIM TO CANNIBALIZE 80% OF MY HIDEOUSLY GROTESQUE FACE. IT IS OBVIOUS I WANT TO BE THE NEXT HOMELESS RONALD POPPO WITH MY BODY COMPONENTS COMPLETELY CHEWED OFF. UNLIKE A MALNOURISHED HOMELESS JUNKIE-LOOKING TWAT, I AM A FAT OBESE WHITE MAN WHO CAN PROVIDE ALL THE FOOD AND NUTRITION THAT A GODDAMN BATH-SALT ENHANCED ZOMBIE NEGRO "RUDY EUGENE" CAN EVER NEED. I DON'T UNDERSTAND SEXY NEGRO CANNIBALS. WHY DO THEY TAKE OUT THEIR OWN KIND INSTEAD OF DEVOURING MY DELICIOUS BODY PARTS? IT'S NOT FAIR. BEING CANNIBALIZED BY A WELFARE-DEPENDENT NIGGER WHILE HIGH ON BATHROOM CHEMICALS WHILE GETTING THE BIGGEST BONER HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT MY CHILDHOOD DREAM SINCE THE RACE-MIXING CULTURAL REVOLUTION OF THE SIXTIES!!

I DON'T KNOW HOW THE MIAMI DOCTORS ARE GOING TO "RECONSTRUCT" THAT HOMELESS POPPO'S FUCKING FACE AFTER THIS HILARIOUS INCIDENT. LIKE ARE THEY GOING TO COVER HIS ENTIRE MISSING FACIAL SURFACE WITH PLASTIC AND METAL COMPONENTS? MIGHT AS WELL MAKE HIM THE NEXT FUCKING ROBOCOP THEN. GIVE HIM A MICROCHIP TOO AND PROGRAM HIM TO STOP ACTING LIKE A HOMELESS NIGGER AND PERHAPS SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HIM IN THE FUTURE. AND THEN INSERT A CRIME-STOPPER USB PROGRAM TO MAKE HIM SHOOT OTHER CANNIBAL BLACKS JACKED OFF OF HOME-MADE STIMULANTS SO SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IN OUR FRIGHTENINGLY BARBARIC FUTURE.

BUT SERIOUSLY I WONDER WHO THE FUCK IS READY FOR THIS INEVITABLE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SHENANIGAN. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. I'VE DUG A BUNKER IN MY MOTHER'S FUCKING BASEMENT THAT IS SO DEEP, I SWEAR TO GOD I'M BEGINNING TO SMELL THE CURRY THAT'S BEEN COOKING IN SOUTH ASIA. IN PREPARATION FOR THE IMPENDING ARMAGEDDON WHERE ALL MODERN FORMS OF COMMUNICATION WILL BE RIPPED OFF AND RESOURCES WILL RUN SCARCE, I HAVE SUPPLIED MY SHELTER WITH ENDLESS FOOD, WATER, AND BATH SALT. FOOD AND WATER FOR SURVIVAL, AND BATH SALT TO JOIN THE DEAD IF I CANNOT DEFEAT THEM, OF COURSE. PLUS, INGESTING BATH SALT WILL OBVIOUSLY BE THE CLOSEST I'LL EVER GET TO TAKING A BATH OR USING ANY BATH-LIKE PRODUCTS, AS I HAVE AVOIDED SUCH AN ACTIVITY FOR THE PAST THREE DECADES. THE GREATEST THREAT NEXT TO ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AND/OR NUCLEAR WARFARE IS SIMPLY ME SHOWING MY GROTESQUELY NASTY-ASS SELF IN PUBLIC AND ASPHYXIATING INNOCENT BYSTANDERS WITH MY UNSURVIVABLE STENCH THAT HAS BEEN CLASSIFIED AS IMMEDIATE LIFE-THREATENING GRADE-A RISK BY THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION!! I HAVE BEEN A TRAITOR TO OUR NATION FOR DECADES AS THE USSR ADMINISTRATION HAS PAID ME TO INVOLVE MYSELF IN RESEARCHES ON BIOHAZARDOUS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION THAT REQUIRES MY TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN JUST LIFTING UP MY FUCKING ARM PITS. ZOMBIES... A THREAT? SINCE WHEN?

THERE'S SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BUT I JUST DON'T HAVE THE WILL TO TYPE IT ALL. LUCKILY MY TWELVE FOOT LONG PENIS IS A GIGANTIC FLAMETHROWER THAT WILL ANNIHILATE EARTH WHEN IT QUICKLY TURNS INTO A SCORCHED PIECE OF SHIT. AND WHEN I PRESS MY LEFT TESTICLE A GIGANTIC ROCKET LAUNCHES OUT AND TURNS ANY ONCE-GREAT CIVILIZATION INTO TOTAL OBLIVION. FUCK YOU, EGYPTIANS AND MAYANS. MY GIGANTIC WANG IS THE ONLY FUCKING WEAPON I NEED TO SURVIVE THIS DOOMSDAY PROPHECY. IT'S SO PRECIOUS THAT I DON'T EVEN NEED AN ASSHOLE TO SHIT. THAT'S RIGHT YOU ZOMBIE-FEARING FAGGOTS, I SHIT OUT FROM MY COCK AND PISS OUT OF MY BUTT. WHO'S THE ODD FUCKING WORLD-RENOWNED FREAK NOW?

PREPARE FOR MORE MINDLESS ZOMBIE UPDATES IN THE NEAR FUTURE. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID "MINDLESS". WHAT A TASTELESS JOKE. DEAR UNDEAD: FUCK ME UP MY RABIE-INFESTED BUTTHOLE.

BOTCH - UNIFYING THEMES REDUX

1. God Vs. Science
2. Third Part In A Tragedy
3. Inch By Inch
4. The Opera Song
5. Closure
6. Contraction
7. Ebb
8. Stupid Me
9. In Spite Of This
10. End Of Discussion
11. Wounded
12. Liquored Up And Laid
13. Leavers Take On Genesis
14. The Lobster Song
15. Frequinting Mass Transit
16. Sudam
17. Untitled

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BRIEF REVIEW:

STOP USING ALL THESE BIG WORDS TO BOGGLE AROUND WITH MY FUCKING I.Q. OF NO MORE THAN 39! I'M SICK OF BEING UTTERLY PERPLEXED BY THESE HIGHLY PSEUDO INTELLECTUAL COMMUNITY COLLEGE GRADUATES WHOSE KNOWLEDGE OF SOCIO-PHILOSOPHY IS SECOND TO NONE!

BUT HERE IS A QUESTION FOR YOU ASSHOLES... JUST WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IDIOTS GOING TO DO WITH THAT TYPE OF DEGREE?
I MEAN, ARE THERE ANY PRACTICALITY TO YOUR INSIGHTFUL WISDOMS AT ALL? CAN YOU IDIOTS PAINT HOUSES WITH THAT KIND OF EXPERTISE? CAN YOU GUYS BUILD A CAR? CAN YOU GUYS PROGRAM A COMPUTER SOFTWARE?

NOPE! YOUR FAGGOT INTELLECTUAL KNOWLEDGE HAS BEEN RENDERED USELESS AND OBSOLETE BY OUR MODERN TWENTY FIRST CENTURY OF TECHNICAL MATERIALISM.

SORRY DICKHEADS! LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL BE PLAYING THAT GAY MUSIC FOR THE REST OF YOUR TORMENTED LIVES! WHOOHOO! GO LIVE IN A CAVE AND STARE AT THE SUN YOU GAYLORDS!

BOTCH - WE ARE ROMANS

1. To Our Friends in the Great White North
2. Mondrian Was a Liar
3. Transistions from Persona to Object
4. Swimming the Channel Vs. Driving the Chunnel
5. C. Thomas Howell as the "Soul Man"
6. Saint Matthew Returns to the Womb
7. Frequency Ass Bandit
8. I Wanna Be a Sex Symbol on My Own Terms
9. Man the Ramparts
10. We Are the Romans

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BRIEF REVIEW:

EWW, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY YOU WERE? A ROMAN? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY PLANET YOU FILTHY ROBE WEARING SAVAGE! BARBARIAN WAS SO THREE HUNDRED YEARS AGO! HERE'S A DEER, GO HUNT IT OFF A CLIFF!

(THE IRONY OF THE FACT THAT THE ROMANS WERE THE ONES WHO COLLECTIVELY ESTABLISHED ONE OF THE GREATEST AND THE MOST COMPLEX AND INTRICATE CIVILIZATIONS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE EVER DID, HAS BEEN DELIBERATELY IGNORED AND SUBSIDED)

*FART*
OH MAN, I'M SO BORED WITH THIS WEBSITE IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. SOMEONE POST ME SUGGESTIONS AS TO HOW I CAN INNOVATE THIS DYING PIECE OF SHIT SO I MAY END UP ENTERTAINING THE BEST FOR THE BOTH OF US.

BOTCH - AN ANTHOLOGY OF DEAD ENDS

1. Spaim
2. Japam
3. Framce
4. Vietmam
5. Afghamistam
6. Micaragua

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BRIEF REVIEW:

EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH AVANTE-GARDE NOISE ROCKERS THESE DAYS. WAS YOUR N KEY BROKEN THROUGHOUT THE PUBLISHING DEADLINE OR SOMETHING? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE HORRENDOUS MISSPELLING OF YOUR ALBUM TRACKS? LAST TIME I TRIED TYPING AN ESSAY LIKE THAT, MY MICROSOFT WORD SPELL CHECK BROKE THE FUCK DOWN!!

I LOVE HOW MUSICIANS PERCEIVE THEMSELVES AS SOME SORT OF ARTISTIC GENIUS FOR CREATING THEIR "ORIGINAL OUT OF THIS WORLD CONCEPT ALBUMS" THAT ARE ONLY IMPRESSIVE IN THEIR OWN PERSONALLY DELUSIONAL CRACK-ADDICTED WORLDS. I THINK WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TO EXPRESS WITH THIS ALBUM IS THAT EITHER MOST OR ALL OF THESE COUNTRIES ARE BEING AMERICANIZED DESPITE OF THEIR PERSONAL SOVEREIGNTY, CONSIDERING MUCH OF THEM HAVE HAD SOME SORT OF AFFAIR WITH THE UNITED STATES WITHIN THE PAST HALF CENTURY. SINCE COLONIALIZATION, IMPERIALIZATION, INTERNATIONAL POLITICAL INTEGRATION, AND ECONOMIC GLOBALIZATION HAS PLAYED A HUGE PART IN MAKING THE WESTERN CULTURE POWERFUL, AMERICANS ARE SLOWLY TAKING OVER THE WORLD AND OVERRIDING OTHER COUNTRIES' NATIONALISTIC VALUES.

WELL GUESS WHAT MY RESPONSE TO ALL THIS POLITICAL JIB-JAB IS?

GO FUCK YOURSELF FAGGOT.


NOBODY GIVES A RAT'S ASS ABOUT YOUR POLITICAL CORRECTNESS. GO SEW A SWEATER TO CRY ON YOU PATHETIC LIBERAL BLEEDING HEARTS. BWAHHH!

OH MAN, I MISS GEORGIE BUSHIE. I HAVE A LARGE FILTHY BUSH TOO. WANNA SEE IT?
(I THINK YOU'VE GOT SOME PROBLEMS. SEEK FOR HELP IMMEDIATELY.)

BOTCH - AMERICAN NERVOSO

1 Hutton's Great Heat Engine
2 John Woo
3 Dali's Praying Mantis
4 Dead for a Minute
5 Oma
6 Thank God for Worker Bees
7 Rejection Spoken Softly
8 Spitting Black
9 Hives

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Brief Review:

ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED? DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO BOTCH IS? HOW CAN THIS ATROCITY BE? COULD AN ACCURATE EXPLANATION POSSIBLY LIE WITHIN THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A NIGGER? YEAH?

HAHAHAHAHA!

I KNEW IT!

GO DROWN IN A PUDDLE OF QUICKSAND YOU FUCKING BIG BLACK DISEASED THING!