BRIEF REVIEW:
GIVEN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, IT'S NO WONDER I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME IMAGINING IF I HAD THE EXISTING COMPANIONS OF POKEMONS. IMAGINE IF I HAD A PIKACHU BY MY SIDE? I'D USE HIM TO THUNDERBOLT ALL THE BULLIES AND EVEN RECEIVE A FUCKING DICKSUCK FROM HIM AFTERWARDS. WHAT A LOYAL POKEMON! I'D PLAY WITH HIS POKEBALLS ALL NIGHT, AS IT WOULD PROBABLY CURE MY CHRONIC INSOMNIA! FANTACIZING ABOUT POKEMON EROTICA HAS ME SO TURNED ON THAT EVERY TIME I MASTURBATE ON TOP OF THE FLAGPOLE, THE SPERM I SPRAY ENDS UP HITTING SOME WALKING PEDESTRIAN ON THE FOREHEAD! HAHAHA, THAT'S RIGHT YOU FUCKING APATHETIC WORLD, THIS IS HOW IT FEELS TO FINALLY GET A TASTE OF MY "HARNESSED WRATH"!
BUT TIMES HAVE CHANGED NOW, AND NOWADAYS INSTEAD OF USING POKEMON AS THERAPEUTIC RELIEF OF MY PAST TORMENT, I USE IT AS A VEHICLE TO ENTICE LITTLE BOYS TO MY HUMONGOUS "BEAR TRAP". I LEAVE COPIES OF THESE ALBUMS AT THE DOORSTEPS OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS AS BAIT TO TRAIL ALL THE WAY BACK TO MY HOUSE. TO MAKE SURE I ACHIEVE THIS PURPOSE, I ADD THE CAPTION OF "FOR LITTLE BOYS ONLY" ON EVERY ALBUM COVER. HOWEVER, PAST THREE TIMES OF THIS REPEAT EXPERIMENT HAVE LEAD NOTHING TO MY HOUSE IN EXCEPTION TO BLACK VANS AND MEN IN BLACK SUITS! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY TECHNIQUE AND WHY AM I NOT LURING THE RIGHT VICTIMS?! I THOUGHT IT WAS FUCKING FAILPROOF GODDAMNIT!
ONE TIME ONE OF THEM KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND TOLD ME HE'S A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE FBI. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FBI? FAGGOT BOYS' INITIATIONS? OH YES! I ALMOST CREAMED OVER HEARING THAT SHIT. I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS AN UNDERGROUND MENLOVE ASSOCIATION SO CLOSE TO MY PROXIMITY! HOLY SHIT MY LIFE OF PEDOPHILIA IS NOW MADE!
ANYWAYS UP TO THIS DAY, I STILL WANK OFF AND UPDATE THIS SITE FROM THE COMFORT OF MY INCARCERATION JAIL CELL. WITH THE HELP OF THIS DEATH METAL ALBUM, I FANTASIZE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE YOUNG AND NAIVE. SO WITH THE INSPIRATION OF THESE INCOMPARABLY HEAVY TUNES, I'LL WRITE A NOVEL SO FUCKING PERVERTED THAT WILL MAKE CHRIS HANSEN PROUD FOR SURE! WHOO!