EMANUEL - SOUNDTRACK TO A HEAD RUSH

1. "Hey Man!" 3:48
2. "Buy American Machines" 2:13
3. "The Willing" 3:31
4. "Make Tonight" 3:44
5. "Hotline" 3:26
6. "Soundtrack to a Headrush" 2:53
7. "Breathe Underwater" 3:33
8. "The New Violence" 3:26
9. "Xerocide" 3:18
10. "Dislocated" 3:30

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BRIEF REVIEW:

NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN POP-PUNK BAND THAT EFFORTLESSLY CREATE AFTER THE DEMISE OF YOUR PREVIOUS HARDCORE MOSH BAND THAT WAS GOING NOWHERE OUTSIDE OF YOUR SPECIFIC CIRCLE OF FRIENDS, YOU FUCKING UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS SPOILED FAGGOT BRATS. GO PLAY SOME MORE JUNIOR VARSITY FOOTBALL BEFORE YOU FUCKING COMPOSE MUSIC, MAYBE THEN YOU'LL CREATE SOME TUNES WITH MORE BALLS. AND NOT JUST THE BALLS YOU LIKE TO SUCK ON DURING BAND SLUMBER PARTIES, YOU CUTIE PATTOOTIES. GET BENT AND VICIOUSLY THRUSTED UP THE ASSHOLE WITH A THORNY VINE.

MAN I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT IN REGARDS TO THIS ALBUM (SEEING THAT ANYTHING RELEVANT TO A REVIEW OF THIS RECORD, I'VE ALREADY DONE IN THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH)... I'M JUST GOING TO ADD SOME HOME-MADE INSULTS ABOUT YOUR MOTHER FOR GOOD MEASURES. HMM, LET'S SEE... YOUR MAMA SO FAT SHE'S THE ONLY PERSON EVER WHO GOT A TATTOO OF THE ENTIRE MATHEMATICAL CONSTANT OF PI (π) COMPLETED AROUND HER WAIST. HAHAH TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKERS. AND YOUR MAMA SO FUCKING STUPID THAT ONCE THE WORK WAS DONE, SHE TRIED LOOKING FOR REPEATING PATTERNS ON HER BODY. BUT YO MAMA SO HAIRY THAT ALL THE NUMBERS CLIMBED TO THEIR ESCAPE WHEN SHE WAS SLEEPING AND GUESS WHAT, YOUR MAMA SO FUCKING GODDAMN WHACK THAT WHEN HER RELATIVES QUESTIONED WHERE THE WORK'S WENT, SHE RESPONDED "UHH I THINK I TRIED DIVIDING IT BY ZERO... HUHUHUHUH"

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I SWEAR YOUR MAMA'S SO FUCKING FAT AND RETARDED, NO LIE, THAT WHEN HER WEIGHT-LOSS PLANNING PROGRAM GENERATED AN ALGORITHM FOR HER DIETARY SOLUTIONS, SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A FUCKING HOPSCOTCH EXERCISE. AND I FUCKING LOATHE YOUR MOTHER SO MUCH, MORE THAN JUST BECAUSE SHE'S FAT, HAIRY, WHACK, AND STUPID. SHE GAVE ME HEAD LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS THE WORST HEAD I'VE EVER RECEIVED, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE WAS NO OPENING HOLE FOR HER MOUTH GIVEN THE PLASTIC BAG I'VE WRAPPED AROUND HER HIDEOUS FACE. THEN SHE STARTED TURNING PALE BUT I SURE COULDN'T TELL BECAUSE THE BLACK GROCERY BAG WASN'T A SEE-THROUGH ONE. BY THE TIME SHE STOPPED JITTERING, I FUCKING ROBBED YOUR FATHER ON HIS WAY TO COLLECT HER WORTHLESS LIFE INSURANCE.

MAN I FUCKING LOVE MY BLOG

EMANUEL - BLACK EARTH TIGER

1. "Whiteflag (Intro)" - 2.00
2. "Cottonmouth" - 3:25
3. "Anathamatics" - 3.30
4. "My Antapex" - 3.33
5. "Scenotaph" - 4:17
6. "Phobos" - 4.20
7. "Abandonment Star" - 2.58
8. "Let Them Die" - 3.27
9. "Year Of The Pig" - 4.40
10. "Forever" - 3.45
11. "Whiteflag (Reprise)" - 7.13

BRIEF REVIEW:

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE "ROCK AND ROLL" CULTURE OR SO YOU FUCKING HILLBILLY WHITE TRASH REDNECK SHOTGUN-LOVING FUCKHEADS CALL IT. IT SOUNDS LIKE WHAT MY MOTHER DID EXCESSIVELY TO ME WHILE I WAS AN INFANT, UNTIL I FUCKING ENDED UP WITH SOME SORT OF SHAKING INFANT SYNDROME THAT PRODUCED THE BIG EXISTING BRAIN TUMOUR IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW. MAYBE THAT'S WHY I CAN'T HEAD-BANG LIKE YOU FUCKING PATHETIC COWARDLY METALHEADS. YOU FUCKING GREASY OVERWEIGHT FUCKERS LOOK ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC WHEN YOU GO ABOUT YOUR FUCKING "CIRCLE PIT" RITUALS YOU FAGGOTS. SINCE WHEN WAS IT COOL TO TWIRL AROUND AN INDOOR BAR LIKE YOU'RE ALL WORSHIPPING A TORNADO OF COLLECTIVE SWEAT AND FECES? I LAUGH AT YOUR PITIFUL, HAIRY VIRGIN SELVES, YOU FUCKING ASSHATS.

I LOVE IT EVEN BETTER WHEN THESE FUCKING "ROCKERS" (AS THEY CALL IT IN THAT AWESOME ENVIRONMENT CALLED "HIGH SCHOOL") STICK UP THEIR DEVIL'S HORN SIGNS WITH THEIR TWIRLY LITTLE ANAL-FISTING FINGERS. YEAH BROTHA, ROCK ON! EXCEPT WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT THE HELL IS "\m/" YOU FUCKING MISERABLE FAGGOTS? IT LOOKS LIKE MY TWO LEGS SPREAD UPWARDS WITH AN UNSHAVEN SCROTUM STICKING UPWARDS IN BETWEEN. JUST AS YOU THINK YOU'RE FUCKING COOL FOR WORSHIPPING THE DEVIL AND SUPPORTING SOME BULLSHIT COUNTER CULTURE, YOUR FORTY-SOMETHING MIDDLE-AGED PARENTS ARE DESPERATELY CALLING DR. PHIL AND MURRAY HOTLINES AND FRANTICALLY WONDERING HOW THEIR ONE-AND-ONLY SPOILED BRAT TURNED OUT LIKE THIS.

I HATE WHITE LITTLE FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL SKATE-PUNKS IN THEIR NASTY LITTLE TORN-UP TIGHTY WHITIES AND SKATING AROUND THE SIDEWALKS DOING "OLLIES" DOWN THE SHITTIEST WAXED LEDGES. GOOD JOB YOU FUCKING PHYSICAL HANDICAPS, AREN'T YOU VERSATILE. DO YOU REBELLIOUS LITTLE FUCKERS THINK "JACKASS TWO" IS MUCH BETTER THAN "JACKASS" THE FIRST? COME HERE SO OLD UNCLE WEBMASTER CAN PLAY WITH YOUR WEENIES LIKE THE BIG PEDOPHILE HE IS!

LET ME TELL YOU FAGGOTS SOMETHING... WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, WE HAD NO SKATEBOARDS AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY I WAS MORBIDLY OBESE. BUT HELL, WE SURE HAD TO CROSS THROUGH THREE HYMALAYAS MOUNTAINS IN THIRTY-FEET DEEP OF SNOW JUST TO SUCK OUR TEACHER'S DICKS IN ORDER TO RECEIVE A PASSING MARK IN OUR "ELEMENTARY HUNTING AND GATHERINGS" COURSE.