BRIEF REVIEW:
WANT TO SEE SOME EVIDENCE OF INIQUITY? GO LOOK UNDERNEATH THE LAYERS OF YOUR PARASITICALLY-ENHANCED PUBES YOU FILTHY, UNHYGENIC AND TESTOCERONE LACKING SON OF A BITCH! OH GOD, MEANWHILE YOU CAN CLOSE YOUR LEGS WHILE SITTING DOWN OR SOMETHING. IT SMELLS LIKE A FUCKING AIDS CLINIC IN SAHARA, AFRICA, WHICH IS A LAND FULL OF PRIMITIVES NOT UNLIKE THE FUCKING SAVAGES THAT EXIST AND PLAY IN THIS STUPID MISERABLE BAND. IS THE DRUMMER LIKE AN OCTOPUS OR SOMETHING? I DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S EVEN HUMANELY EVEN POSSIBLE TO DRUM LIKE THAT UNLESS YOU SUFFER FROM SOME SORT OF EXTREMELY COORDINATED SEIZURE TRIGGERED BY DIABETIC HEART CONDITIONS. EITHER THAT OR HE BOUNCES HIS TEN FOOT BONER UP AND DOWN ON THE SNARE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THE GRAVITY-BLAST EFFECTS WHEN DOING BLASTBEATS. BUT THE ONLY THING THAT CONFUSES ME IS, HOW DOES HE DO IT SO FUCKING QUICKLY WITH HIS OVERSIZED PENIS? THE LAST TIME I'VE SEEN AN OMNIPOTENT COCK LIKE THAT, I GOT RAPED IN UGANDA BY A TRIBE OF CANNIBALISTIC NIGGERS NAMED "THE HUHU'S". AFTER THE INCIDENT I COULD NOT WALK FOR EIGHT YEARS AND HAD TO MOVE TO A SOCIALIST NATION LIKE CUBA FOR FREE MEDICAL HEALTH CARE ALL MY FUCKING LIFE. BUT UPON MOVING TO CUBA, I GOT SHOT DOWN BY CHE'S REBEL SQUAD AND NOW HAVE TO WORK FROM THE COMFORT OF A WHEELCHAIR WITH AN APRON HANGING DOWN TO CATCH MY NASTY-ASS DROOL PUDDLES. I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE MY LIFE!
I DON'T KNOW WHY A BAND LIKE THIS HAVE TO ATTRACT SO MANY PUTRID AND OBESE LOOKING METALHEADS. AND EVERY TIME THESE APES ATTEND A SHOW, THEY HAVE TO START A VIOLENT CIRCLE OF PUSH-MOSHING ORGY. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE CONCEPT OF A BUNCH OF SWEATY FUCKING HIPPOPOTAMUSES RUBBING THEIR WEIGHT AGAINST EACH OTHER. ARE THEY ALL BIOPHYSIC MAJORS FROM HARVARD UNIVERSITY TRYING TO TEST OUT THE SCIENCE OF BODILY FRICTION? OR THEORETICALLY SPEAKING, ARE THEY ALL JUST FUCKING FAGGOTS? I THINK THE SECOND HYPOTHESIS DEFINITELY SUFFICES. I UNDERSTAND THESE HIDEOUS LOOKING DUNGEON-AND-DRAGON NERD MONKEYS DON'T GET OUT A WHOLE LOT, BUT THEY CAN AT LEAST PAY FOR A MONTHLY MEMBERSHIP SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT IN A CRAMMED BAR WHERE BANDS AND FANS PRAY TO SATAN ALIKE. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING SUBHUMAN ANIMALS. BUT I DON'T THINK I BLAME THEM. BECAUSE IF I WAS A FUCKING PALE SIX FOOT FIVE OGRE WITH NO FRIENDS OTHER THAN THE FICTITIOUS WARLORD CHARACTERS THAT I READ FROM J. R. R. TOLKEIN NOVELS, I WOULD LEAD A FUCKING LIFE SHITTY ENOUGH TO COMPEL ME TO ISOLATE MYSELF IN A HABITAT ONLY SUITABLE TO ANIMALS. BUT SINCE I KNOW BETTER, I CAN PROUDLY SAY THIS: HEY METALHEADS, WHY DON'T YOU PULL YOUR NASTY LOOKING HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES, GET A HAIRCUT, SHAVE A LITTLE AND DO A FEW FUCKING SUMMER SAULTS BEFORE LANDING ON YOUR BEER-BELLY AND HOPELESSLY LOSE SOME WEIGHT?
I USED TO BE A PALE OBESE GIMP, BUT THEN I STARTED TAKING MEDICATION TO COMBAT MY FATNESS. MY CHOICE OF MEDICATION WAS NONE OTHER THAN SMOKING METH. AND NOW LUCKILY I AM JUST A PALE GIMP. I TAMPER WITH THAT SHIT TEN TIMES A DAY THROUGH SUBSTANCES MY LOCAL SUBSIDIZED DWELLING PROVIDES FOR ME. SOME TIMES I SNIFF IT ON A SPOON WHEREAS OTHER TIMES I PLUG IT UP MY ASSHOLE IN A PARACHUTE. THE LATTER OPTION MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO EXCRETE THE FOOD I EAT THROUGH MY MOUTH SOMETIMES THOUGH, (LIKE METH). EVERY TIME MY DEALER RUNS DRY OF METH, I GET WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS SO BAD THAT I HAVE TO MAKE AN UPDATE LIKE THIS TO VENT TO THE WORLD HOW DESPERATELY UNSTABLE I AM. BUT LUCKILY, SINCE I DON'T UPDATE THIS SITE OFTEN, YOU CAN BE REST ASSURED THAT I GET MY FUCKING FIX ALL THE TIME. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I LOVE MY LIFE OF DEPRAVITY! I PLUG METH SO MUCH THAT EVERY TIME I FART, MY LIVING ROOM IS FILLED WITH AIRBORNE METH ENOUGH TO FEED A FAMILY OF FIVE.
ON A MORE INTERESTING NOTE, IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE OUR ENEMIES IN DEATHCORE IS SEXY HAS BEEN HACKED! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL, SHIT TALKING COCKLOADS! EVERYBODY RESORT TO MY WEBSITE AND CLICK ON MY BANNERS FREQUENT ENOUGH SO I CAN FINALLY MAKE THE MONEY I NEED TO CONSTRUCT MY OWN METH LAB!