EVERGREEN TERRACE - BURNED ALIVE BY TIME

1 Understanding The Fear That Lies Within

2 No Donnie, These Men Are Nihilist

3 Burned Alive By Time

4 Dear Live Journal 

5 Funeral Grade Flowers

6 My Heart Beats In Breakdowns

7 Taking Care OF Dead Fish

8 Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em

9 Absence Of Purpose In The Succession Of Events

10 Heavy Number One (Aka: Shizzle My Nizzle)

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BRIEF REVIEW:

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A BUTT-ACHINGLY HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS

I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS. EVERY SINGLE YEAR WHEN CHRISTMAS COMES I AM REMINDED OF HOW LONELY I AM. IN EXCEPTION TO WHEN SANTA SNEAKS DOWN MY CHIMNEY AND BUTT-FUCKS ME TO SLEEP. I HAVE NO ONE TO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH, EVER, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE FAMILY DIED SHOOTING THOSE CROSS-EYED GOOKS IN IN VIETNAM. SO I LIVE BY MYSELF IN THIS BACHELOR'S BUNGALOW WANKING OFF TO NAKED PHOTOS OF SANTA MOLESTING LITTLE NAUGHTY BOYS IN ISRAEL. I DON'T KNOW HOW I MANAGE TO TYPE SO WELL WHEN ALL THE BLOOD IN MY BODY'S FOCUSED DOWN INSIDE OF MY THREE INCH BONER. SOMETIMES WHEN I LOOK DOWN ON IT, I HAVE A TEMPTATION TO SEVER MY SPLEEN IN HALF JUST SO I CAN SUCK IT LIKE A PACIFIER. YUM YUM. WHO WANTS A BITE OF MY EXCLUSIVE BIOLOGICAL CANDY-CANE FOR CHRISTMAS, MOTHERFUCKERS?

I'M SO FUCKING LONELY ON CHRISTMAS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. I CALLED AN EXPENSIVE HOOKER OVER TO FORNICATE ONLY TO REALIZE NONE OF US PACKED ANY CONDOMS. DESPERATE ENOUGH, I STRAPPED A STOCKING OVER MY DICK AND FUCKED HER SIDEWAYS LIKE THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS. I CUMMED SO QUICKLY SHE GAVE ME A DISCOUNT FOR BEING THE SHORTEST THREE SECOND CLIENT SHE'S EVER INTERACTED WITH. AND PLUS SHE DIDN'T FEEL A THING SO IT WASN'T LIKE SHE HAD TO EXERT MUCH SERVICE FROM HER END. I AM SICK OF BEING A SHORT DICK MAN OH MY GOD. CAN SOMEONE LEND ME A FEW INCHES FROM THEIR DICK AND I'LL RETURN IT AS SOON AS I AM DONE WITH MY AIDS-INVOLVED ACTIVITIES?!

IN THESE HOLIDAYS OF HOLINESS, I WONDER IF GOD REALLY LOVED ME, THEN WHY DID HE MAKE ME THE WAY I AM. GOD NEARLY SQUATTED OUT THE BIGGEST PILE OF SHIT AND MOLDED IT INTO A SCULPTURE THAT IS MY FUCKING FACE. WHEN I FLUSH THE TOILET I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FLUSH FIRST, MY SHIT OR MY FUCKING FACE. SO I FLUSHED THEM BOTH AT ONCE DEEP UNDERGROUND AND I CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF CHINA. HOW THAT MAKES SENSE, I DON'T KNOW. BUT I HOPE NOBODY HAS A JOLLY CHRISTMAS AND EVERYBODY FUCKING GO KILL THEMSELVES. MEANWHILE I WILL CONTINUE WANKING OFF TO REINDEER PORN AND IMAGINE THE SENSATION OF RUDOLPH'S POINTY RED NOSE STUCK UP MY GODDAMN ASSHOLE AS I QUEEF NON-STOP FROM MY VILE RECTAL TUBE. HOLIDAY WELL SPENT, EVERYONE!!

I HOPE SANTA INTERACTS MY VERY SPECIAL NORTH POLE, BEFORE GETTING SPLASHED WITH SOME VERY NASTY GOOEY SHIT AND DIES IN AN ACCIDENT. FUCK YOU SANTA.