Brief Review:
IN THIS DVD, SOME AGING HAGGARD NAMED MELISSA CROSS TRIES TO FIND SOME MEANING IN HER MIDDLE AGE CRISIS AND ATTEMPTS TO LECTURE YOU ON SCREAMING, USING A SERIES OF VOCAL EXERCISE THAT YOU CAN DO WITH THE HELP OF HAMMERING DIFFERENT PIANO NOTES! I KNOW THAT IF I WAS SCREAMING FOR SOME BIG-TIME DEATH METAL ACT, OF COURSE I WOULD CARRY A FISHER PRICE XYLOPHONE WITH ME JUST TO WARM UP THE VOICE THAT SOUNDS LIKE BEING CIRCUMCISED WITHOUT THE USE OF ANESTHETICS. THANKS YOU GRUMPY OLD HAG! WILL YOU BE MY MOTHER AFTER MY BIOLOGICAL ONE CHOSE TO DISOWNE ME FOR A VEHICLE OF BIG FAT BLACKIES FROM THE CORNER BLOCK WHERE SHE WORKS, WHILE GETTING PAID IN SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL? (BY THAT WHAT I ACTUALLY MEAN IS AIDS, CRACK AND TECHNO.)
DO YOU SEE HOW EVERY TESTIMONY ON THIS DVD CONSISTS OF REPULSIVE METALHEADS PRAISING HER TALENT AND ABILITIES? THANKS, YOU FAT FUCKS. I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE YOU'D PLUG YOUR PENIS INTO IF IT WASN'T FOR PRAISING THAT WOMAN ON THE CAMERA FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. NOW GO GARGLE WITH A BUCKET OF SEMEN IN YOUR THROAT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN INSTRUCTED TO, YOUR HIGHLY-ANTICIPATED GIG WITH THE INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED BAND GORGOROTH IS TONIGHT! ONE HELL OF A LANDMARK FOR YOUR BAND TO STEP UP TO!
BY THE WAY, JOE CALLED. HE WANTS YOU TO BE AT HIS BAR TWO HOURS BEFORE THE SHOW TO SET UP THE STAGE.
IN THIS DVD, SOME AGING HAGGARD NAMED MELISSA CROSS TRIES TO FIND SOME MEANING IN HER MIDDLE AGE CRISIS AND ATTEMPTS TO LECTURE YOU ON SCREAMING, USING A SERIES OF VOCAL EXERCISE THAT YOU CAN DO WITH THE HELP OF HAMMERING DIFFERENT PIANO NOTES! I KNOW THAT IF I WAS SCREAMING FOR SOME BIG-TIME DEATH METAL ACT, OF COURSE I WOULD CARRY A FISHER PRICE XYLOPHONE WITH ME JUST TO WARM UP THE VOICE THAT SOUNDS LIKE BEING CIRCUMCISED WITHOUT THE USE OF ANESTHETICS. THANKS YOU GRUMPY OLD HAG! WILL YOU BE MY MOTHER AFTER MY BIOLOGICAL ONE CHOSE TO DISOWNE ME FOR A VEHICLE OF BIG FAT BLACKIES FROM THE CORNER BLOCK WHERE SHE WORKS, WHILE GETTING PAID IN SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL? (BY THAT WHAT I ACTUALLY MEAN IS AIDS, CRACK AND TECHNO.)
DO YOU SEE HOW EVERY TESTIMONY ON THIS DVD CONSISTS OF REPULSIVE METALHEADS PRAISING HER TALENT AND ABILITIES? THANKS, YOU FAT FUCKS. I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE YOU'D PLUG YOUR PENIS INTO IF IT WASN'T FOR PRAISING THAT WOMAN ON THE CAMERA FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. NOW GO GARGLE WITH A BUCKET OF SEMEN IN YOUR THROAT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN INSTRUCTED TO, YOUR HIGHLY-ANTICIPATED GIG WITH THE INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED BAND GORGOROTH IS TONIGHT! ONE HELL OF A LANDMARK FOR YOUR BAND TO STEP UP TO!
BY THE WAY, JOE CALLED. HE WANTS YOU TO BE AT HIS BAR TWO HOURS BEFORE THE SHOW TO SET UP THE STAGE.
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