1. Solar Powered Sun Destroyer
2. Taking Stock Portfolio Advice From Martha Stewart
3. With the Lack of Faith in the World And Recent Fluctuation in Gas Prices... it Wouldn't Surprise Me If Hell Ran On Propane
4. A .45 Caliber Defibrillator A Prototype Of Sorts
5. Its Hard To Hail A Cab While Holding Yourself At Gunpoint
6. With Rapid Fire Mutant DeathBRIEF REVIEW:
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SPAZZOMATIC NOISE? HOLY SHIT I AM HAVING A NEUROTIC BREAKDOWN OVER THIS MECHANICAL HORSESHIT. IT'S LIKE EVERY TIME THIS TYPE OF DYSRHYTHMIC CRAP EXPLODES MY SPEAKERS, MY BOWELS HAVE A VIOLENT EPILEPTIC MELTDOWN RIGHT WITHIN THE COMFORT OF MY OWN FUCKING ADULT SHIT-PROOF DIAPERS. THE RESIDUES OF MY POO-POO THAT IS LEFT OVER ON MY DIAPERS CREATE AN ABSTRACT GALLERY OVER TIME IN THE CONFINED WARMTH THAT IS MY FUCKING MOTHER'S BASEMENT. CERTAIN TIME OF THE MONTH SHE COMES DOWN TO DO LAUNDRY AND ASKS ME WHAT THE HELL THAT HORRENDOUS SMELL IS, AND I POMPOUSLY RESPOND "YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND MY ARTISTIC INTEGRITY! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME AS AN ARTIST, AND THAT'S WHY YOU'LL NEVER BE RECOGNIZED AS MY REAL MOTHER! AS OF BIRTH, I WAS BORN TO DO ART!"
HOLY FUCK I DON'T UNDERSTAND STUPID ARTISTS AND THEIR ABSTRACT ART. I CAN HAVE A MENSTRUAL CYCLE OVER MY CARPET AND CREATE MORE CONCEPTUALLY RICH AND VISUALLY APPEALING MASTERPIECES. GO GET A REAL JOB AND REFRAIN FROM DWELLING IN A FUCKING SUBSIDIZED HOUSING BASEMENT AND SELLING YOUR WORK ON STREETS WHERE PEOPLE PURPOSELY STEP OVER YOUR NON-CREATIVE SIMPLETONS JUST TO ADD THE FOOTPRINTS THAT WILL BE THE ONLY SUBSTANCE TO YOUR OTHERWISE MISERABLY EMPTY WORK YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS.
LAST TIME I ATTEMPTED TO CREATE ART MY TOILET OVERFLOWED WITH DIARRHEA AND I FINALLY GOT SUBSTANCE TO STUFF MY EMPTY MATRESS WITH FOR A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP
P.S. HEY KEITH IN HELL, RESURRECT HELLFEST YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. FACE IT, YOUR LIFE WILL OTHERWISE PREDICTABLY SUCK. I MEAN NO BAND, AND NO ANNUAL CHAOTIC FESTIVALS THAT YOU WERE SO NOTORIOUSLY RESPECTED FOR? DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE AT ALL YOU FUCKING DULL RECENT CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALIST CONVERT?! STOP GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING A FAMILY AND THROW ANOTHER HELLFEST WITH BAD LUCK THIRTEEN RIOT EXTRAVAGANZA HEADLINING AND LIVE UP TO THEIR NAME AGAIN, YOU FUCKING MISFIT.
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