THE HOPE CONSPIRACY - FILE .03 EP

1 No Love Goes Unpunished
2 Treason
3 It Meant Nothing
4 Divinity Sickness
5 Regret Kills
6 Escapist

BRIEF REVIEW:

IN STANDARD JUDGMENT AND RANKING FOR COMEDY, USUALLY WE HAVE SOPHISTICATED AND MATURE HUMOUR PLACED ON A HIGHER SCALE WHEREAS TASTELESSLY NASTY TOILET HUMOUR FALLING INTO THE BOTTOM OF THE SCALE. OFTEN CONSIDERED LOW, UNFUNNY AND DEGRADING, THEY ARE LARGELY CONFINED TO IMMATURE CHILDREN AND UNFORTUNATELY, SOME OLDER PEOPLE WITH MENTAL AND DEVELOPMENTAL PROBLEMS. WELL, IF YOU NEED AN EXAMPLE OF THE LATTER, LOOK NO FUCKING FURTHER THAN WEBMASTER HIMSELF! NOT ONLY IS PISS, SHIT AND TOILET HUMOUR A HIGHLY-ENDORSED WAY OF LIFE, IT IS ALSO A FUCKING FETISH FOR MY SPECIAL NEEDS FOR SEXUAL AROUSALS! NOT ONCE HAVE I NOT GOTTEN AN ENORMOUSLY TITANIUM ERECTION OFF THE SCAT CONTENT I'VE WRITTEN ON MY BLOG, WHICH MOST IS OFTEN COMPOSED WITH MY RIGHT HAND ON THE KEYBOARD AND MY LEFT HAND IN MY SWAMPY REGION! DAMN RIGHT I'M A FUCKING LEFTY, I FOUGHT IN VIETNAM THAT WAY! HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOUR ELDERS YOU FUCKING PATHETIC LITTLE SPOILED OVER-PRIVILEGED KIDS BEFORE UNCLE WEBMASTER RAPES THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU BY TAKING A SEXY LIQUID-DIARRHEA DUMP ON YOUR CHEST!

WHILE COMBATING IN VIETNAM, WE TOOK OUR PUTRID SHITS IN THE TRENCHES WHERE WE ATE AND SLEPT. IT GOT TO A POINT WHERE OUR FUCKING FOUL HUMAN WASTE COMPILED TO SUCH AN EXTENT I DEVELOPED A SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO IT. I PERFORM INTERCOURSE WITH LOOPY DONUT-SHAPED POOPIES ON A NIGHTLY BASIS IN ORDER TO RELIEVE THE SEXUAL TENSION I GET FROM TARGETING SEXY CHINKY VIETNAMNESE GOOKS ALL DAY. HAHAHA, HOLY FUCKING SLANT-EYED FOOLS. I THINK I'VE GOT STOMACH ULCER FROM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD. I DON'T DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN PEOPLE'S SHITS EITHER, I WAS WILLING TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYBODY'S SHIT EQUALLY. THEN I CUM ALL OVER THE SURFACE CRUST OF THEIR DRIED UP SHIT NUGGETS, WHICH SERVES AS CREAM OF THE FREE "DONUTS" I THEN SERVE TO MY COMBATING BROTHERS! AM I NOT NICE OR WHAT?

ANYWAYS, THE POINT OF THIS REVIEW IS THAT CONSIDERING I'VE TALKED SO MUCH ABOUT SHIT, PISS AND SCAT THROUGHOUT THIS WEBSITE, THE 'RELEVANT' GOOGLE BANNERS THAT ARE GENERATED IN RESPONSE TO THIS WEBSITE IS NOTHING BUT TOILET ADVERTISEMENTS! HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAH! HOLY FUCKING CRAP MY ASSHOLE HURTS FROM ALL THIS FUCKING HILARITY. ONE OF THE STAR FEATURES IS A BANNER LINKED TO THIS FUCKING WEBSITE ... "BATHROOM SPRAYERS" PRODUCT THAT ENCOURAGES YOU TO NEVER USE ANOTHER PIECE OF TOILET PAPER AGAIN! HAHAHA I'M SO GLAD TO BE GENERATING REVENUES FOR TOILET HYGENE WEBSITES! OH MY GOD MY LIFE, SO USEFUL. GO CHECK OUT THE SITE AND MAKE ME SOME MONEY YOU FUCKING UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLES.

I DON'T GET THE ULTIMATE PURPOSE OF THE PRODUCT THOUGH. I MEAN I'VE NEVER FUCKING USED TOILET PAPERS IN MY LIFE BEFORE, AND IT'S NOT LIKE I USE A SHOWER TAP TO CLEAN MY ASSHOLE OR ANYTHING. I MERELY LET THE BROWN BERRIES DANGLE DOWN MY ASSHAIR UNTIL IT EITHER FALLS INTO MY SHOES AND/OR EVAPORATES INTO THE AIR. I'M JUST THAT ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE WASTING TOILET PAPER OR SPRAYING TAP WATER. I DON'T CARE FOR THE SIDE EFFECTS OF GETTING HEMMORIDS OR REPELLING SEXY FAT LADIES WHO I HAVE NO CHANCES WITH ANYWAYS. IT ISN'T THAT I AM UNHYGENIC, I'M JUST A FUCKING PREHISTORIC BARBARIAN. HEAR ME ROARR!!!! BUT YES AS I WAS SAYING, AFTER FINISH TAKING A SHIT, IMMEDIATELY I PULL MY FUCKING PANTS UP AND SIT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE LONG ENOUGH TILL MY SHIT STAINS TRANSFER FROM MY PANTS ONTO THE TABLE CLOTH. THEN THE COUNSELLOR IN MY GROUP HOME CALLS ALL OF US TO THE KITCHEN FOR DINNER. BEING THE NICE GUY I AM, I NEVER EXPECT ANY "THANK YOU'S" FROM SPICING UP THE ROOM!

GOD MUST FUCKING LOVE ME