FAQs SECTION

ONE OF THE THINGS I TAKE PRIDE IN BEING THE WEBMASTER OF THIS HORRENDOUS WEBSITE, IS THE AMOUNT OF STUPID FUCKING QUESTIONS I RECEIVE ON A MONTHLY BASIS FROM INTELLECTUALLY-DEFICIENT FAGGOTS OF ALL SHAPE, SIZE AND FORMS! IN ADDRESSING THESE RETARDED QUESTIONS, I HOPE I PROVIDE YOU ASSMUNCHERS WITH THE INSIGHT TO BETTER UNDERSTAND MYSELF, AND THE WEBSITE I RUN. HOWEVER, I NEED TO ETHICALLY REMIND YOU ALL THAT NO QUESTION IS TOO INCOMPETENT FOR LIFE, BUT ONLY THE VULGAR RETARDS THAT SOMEHOW MANAGE TO SPEW THEM!

UNFORTUNATELY DUE TO THE HEIGHT OF SPACE THIS COLUMN INITIALLY OCCUPIED ON THE RIGHT SIDEBAR, I HAVE BRILLIANTLY DECIDED TO CREATE AN INDIVIDUAL SECTION FOR IT.

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GERARD: Webmaster, why do you always try to touch my animals in their pee pee place and suck your mothers **** while playing super mario brothers 2?

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION MY LITTLE GERARD. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PLAY WITH YOUR JOYSTICK, DOES IT MEAN NOBODY ELSE HAVE THE RIGHT TO? OF COURSE NOT YOU MISLED LITTLE BOY! YOUR MOTHER HAVE PROBABLY ALWAYS TAUGHT YOU THAT SHARING IS ONE OF THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL VIRTUES OF LIFE! THAT'S WHY WHENEVER YOU PLAY WITH YOUR JOYSTICK, I'D LIKE TO STICK MY HANDS IN THERE AND PLAY WITH YOUR OTHER JOYSTICK AS WELL SO WE CAN SHARE THE FUN TOGETHER! AND FORTUNATELY FOR YOU, THIS IS AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT LEVEL TO CONQUER SO I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT IN ORDER TO ENSURE VICTORY!

NO NEED TO BE FRIGHTENED MY LITTLE BOY! IT IS NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T ENDURED BACK IN YOUR BAPTISM DAYS ALONE WITH THE CATHOLIC PRIEST! EXCEPT UNLIKE THE CATHOLIC PRIEST, I DON'T NEED THE WRATH OF JESUS TO MAKE YOU STAY HARD! NOW EAT THE MUSHROOM MY LITTLE MARIO, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU GROW!

jizzbot: WEBMASTER HOW BIG IS THE AVERAGE BLACK MANS ****? BY THE WAY I CAN TALK IN CAPS TOO YOU ****ING FAGGOT!!!

FIRST AND FOREMOST JIZZBOT, I'D LIKE TO APPLAUD YOU FOR YOUR ALLEGEDLY PROUDFUL ABILITY! I THOUGHT SUCH AN ABILITY WAS ONLY EXCLUSIVE TO HOMOEROTIC MEN WITH A NIGGER FETISH LIKE ME! HOWEVER NOW LEARNING THAT I'M NOT ALONE, I FEEL AS IF WE HAVE SOME SORT OF TELEKENTIC SCROTUM BONDING ALREADY BEFORE WE'VE EVEN MET!

HOWEVER I AM UNABLE TO ADDRESS YOUR FAGGOT QUESTION DUE TO THE CENSORED STARS COVERING BY FAR THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL COMPONENT OF YOUR QUESTION. WHICH ORGAN IS IT THAT CAN BE MASKED IN FOUR STARS WHICH YOU HAVE A CURIOSITY FOR? IS IT ARMS? LEGS? FEET? PLEASE SPECIFY IN ORDER TO ENGLIGHTEN ME WITH FURTHER CLARITY FUCKING UNCLEAR FAGGOT!

I USED TO RUN THE CHATBOARD UNCENSORED UNTIL I REALIZED MY PARENTS WERE RELIGIOUSLY OFFENDED BY THE VULGARITY THAT HAS BEEN RAMPANTLY ONGOING HERE. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU CUNT-LICKING FOOLS? CAN YOU PLEASE RESPECT OUR MORMON FAITH PRIOR TO FUCKING PROPELLING RANDOMLY DISPICABLE BULLSHITS OUT FROM THE VILENESS OF YOUR LOOSE CUNTS? MY BELOVED AMISH MOTHER HAS LOST SLEEP OVER READING ALL YOUR BULLSHIT THROUGH THE LEISURE OF THE INTERNET!!!

PLEASE BE MORE CONSIDERATE BEFORE DOWNLOADING, THANK YOU.

WTF: how do u download things from this website?

ARE YOU ACTUALLY SERIOUS YOU FUCKING SEVERELY MENTALLY DISABLED FAGGOT?

MORE THAN STUPID FOREIGNERS WHO BEARLY SPEAK A BASTARDIZED VERSION OF PROPER ENGLISH, THIS IS WHY I FUCKING LOATHE PEOPLE CONNECTING TO MY WEBSITE FROM CORRUPT THIRD AND FOURTH WORLD COUNTRIES. HOW DID YOU MIRACULOUSLY RECEIVE INTERNET ACCESS YOU FUCKING MENTALLY-UNDERDEVELOPED APES? DID YOU SOMEHOW LEECHED THE SATELLITE SIGNALS OFF FROM THE INSTITUTIONS OF YOUR COMMUNIST GOVERNMENTS, WHO PROBABLY USES IT FOR TEXT-CYBERING WITH THE RUSSIAN AMBASSADOR WITH THE NAME OF "BORIS"?

WHY DON'T YOU GO DRINK YOUR NASTY ASS TAP WATER FROM THE SAME PIPES YOUR FLUSHED TOILET EXCRETES INTO AND REFRAIN FROM WASTING MY SERVER'S BANDWIDTH YOU FUCKING ILLEGAL ALIENS?

BY THE WAY, NO NEED TO SUDDENLY IMMIGRATE HERE TO EXPLOIT US FROM OUR ECONOMIC RECESSION YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. GIVEN YOUR BIOLOGICAL PRESET OF INTELLIGENCE IT'S A FUCKING WONDER WHERE YOU MANAGED TO DISCOVER THE "ON" BUTTON OF THAT PIECE OF JUNK YOU'RE DROOLING ON. IT'S FUCKING NASTY ASS FOREIGN FAGGOTS LIKE YOU THAT DEPRIVE ME OF THE MINIMUM-WAGE DAY JOBS THAT I HAVE TROUBLE FINDING IN MY LOCAL CORPORATE MCDONALD PLAZA. (MY LACK OF EXPERIENCE, QUALIFICATIONS ALONG WITH A TOILET PAPER LIST OF CRIMINAL RECORDS AS A NOTORIOUS UNDERAGED SEX OFFENDER IS COMPLETELY AND PURPOSELY DISREGARDED IN MY SCAPEGOATING OF YOU STUPID MINDLESS SOCIALLY-INEPT FAGGOTS.)

How does it feel to know you'll never know the touch of a woman?

IT FEELS PRETTY GODDAMN NICE WITH THE HELP OF MY BATTERY-OPERATED FLESHTUBES AND MANNEQUINS, YOU JEALOUS GIMPS! DON'T GET BITTER OVER THE FACT THAT I AM ONE OF THE FEW DEPRIVED INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE FORTUNATELY MODERNIZED TO THE EXTENT OF APPLYING TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY TECHNOLOGY TO SOLVE AN TIMELESS ISSUE OF MANKIND!

YOU SEE FAGGOTS, YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND MY COMPLACENCY. INSTEAD OF DEALING WITH ALL THE EXCESSIVE ISSUES BROUGHT-FORTH BY THOSE DOPEY FEMALE SPECIMEN, WE INSTEAD DEAL WITH SYNTHETIC MECHANICS MADE BY MAN, FOR MEN! FACE IT, MANMADE INVENTIONS NEVER SAY NO TO YOU! THEY DON'T FIGHT WITH YOU, THEY DON'T REJECT OR EMBARRASS YOU IN PUBLIC, NOR DO THEY INTERRUPT WITH THE ENJOYMENT OF YOUR VIEWING OF SPORTS!

OH MY, IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE GLORY OF MEN, I WON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH MYSELF OR WHERE TO TOUCH MYSELF LATE AT NIGHT! OH SHIT THAT JUST CAME OUT WRONG... I MEANT... GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER FAGGOT.

Psychoman: if you hate sow much "the metalheads " why are you still uploading metal music?

LET'S SEE IF YOU BRAINLESS DUMPS ARE INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THIS ANALOGY... IN ORDER TO LURE A RAT INTO THE TRAP, YOU'D HAVE TO PLACE A FEW BLOCKS OF CHEESE FIRST. COMPREHENDE? CONGRATULATIONS ON CHEWING ON MY BAIT SO WILLINGLY YOU FUCKING DUMBASS, I'VE HAD HARDER TIME ATTRACTING ANTS WITH MY DIABETES. NOW THAT YOU'RE ALL HERE AND ENRAGED, ALLOW ME TO OFFER ONE SIMPLE FOLLOWING APOLOGY:

YOU'RE A FAGGOT.

Hardcore was started by black men. BAD BRAINS! HOW CAN U BE A RACIST LISTENING TO NON RACIST MUSIC!???? YA ****IN DOUCHE BAG!

WOW, SPEAKING OF A FINALLY HALF-INTELLIGENT CREATION MADE BY A BLACK! WHILE I ADMIT THAT BAD BRAINS IS PRETTY FUCKING BRUTAL, THE TERM BRUTAL HERE IS USED IN THE CONTEXT OF ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS! AND TO COUNTER YOUR CLAIM, NO, I AM NOT A RACIST. I INDISCRIMINATELY LOATHE EVERY RACE EQUALLY, AND I ASSUME YOU MUST FALL UNDER ONE OF THOSE. END YOUR PITIFUL LIFE THIS INSTANT YOU USELESS WASTE OF REPRODUCTIVE SKIN CELLS!

MIKE: if my mom was a TRANSVESTITE, how was i BORN?

SIMPLE! OUT OF HER ANUS, A DEEP BLACK HOLE WITH ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES! NOW SHUT UP AND STOP ASKING SUCH RETARDED QUESTIONS, CAN'T WE BE A LITTLE MORE CIVIL AND ETHICAL ON THIS WEBSITE ONCE AND FOR FUCKING ALL YOU DIRTY ARRANGATANG?

HITLER RULES

hans: why haven't you shot yourself in the ****ing head?

HMM, YOU SEE, PEOPLE TEND TO UNDER ESTIMATE ME AND MY LACK OF ABILITIES. WHEN I AM SELF-PROCLAIMED TO BE RETARDED, I DON'T NECESSARILY MEAN I'M LOST AND REQUIRE SOME FORMAL EDUCATION AND GUIDANCE. BUT LIKE, I AM LEGALLY FUCKING RETARDED AND REQUIRE A HEAVY-DUTY APRON TO PREVENT MY SALIVA FROM CONSTANTLY POURING OUT OF MY BIG JUICY DOWN-SYNDROME LIPS. SO WHAT AM I TRYING TO GET OUT OF THIS?

YOU SEE, WHENEVER I TRY TO GET SOMETHING ACCOMPLISHED, I FAIL DRASTICALLY. LAST TIME I TRIED THROWING A ROCK TO THE GROUND, I MISSED. SO WHEN IT COMES TO HANDLING PISTOLS, I CONSTANTLY END UP SHOOTING OTHER PEOPLE AND NOT MYSELF. WHAT A FAILURE! BUT THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE THOSE WHO I SHOT LUCKILY ALWAYS TEND TO BE RACIAL MINORITIES, WOMEN, GAY PEOPLE, LITTLE CHILDREN AND THE DISABLED. THANK GOD I AM DOING SOME GOOD FOR THIS WORLD! THE LESS LIKES OF THEM + THE MORE LIKES OF ME = BETTER WORLD!

BEFORE YOU BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT MORAL AND ETHICAL VIOLATION, ALLOW ME TO ASSERT THAT AT LEAST I AM SAVING YOUR TAX DOLLARS ON FRIVOLOUS SOCIAL SUPPORT FOR USELESS PEOPLE! CALL YOUR LOCAL OFFICIALS AND GOVERNMENT SUPERIORS AND ADVISE FOR THEM TO POUR ALL THE MONEY TOWARDS ME, BECAUSE I NEED TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD SMOKIN' THAT SWEET ROCK TONIGHT BABY.

janet: hey faggot, why are you so ****ing racist?

I LOVE ASSWIPE NEWCOMERS WHO THINKS THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRITIQUE ME AND THE BRILLIANT PERSON GOD HAS MOULDED ME TO BE (FROM A PILE OF DRIED UP HORSECRAP)! YOU SEE, CONTRARY TO THIS COMMON MISCONCEPTION, I AM NOWHERE NEAR BEING RACIST! I LOVE SPICS, WETBACKS, KIKES, GOOKS, NIGGERS, HONKEYS, COCKROACHES, ALBINOS AND REDNECKS ALL THE SAME... NONE WHATSOEVER! SO IT'S NOT A RACE ISSUE WE'RE DEALING WITH HERE, IT'S A MISANTHROPIC ISSUE!

NOW WHILE WE ARE ON THE TOPIC OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS, AREN'T YOU A WOMAN FROM THE LOOKS OF YOUR NAME? WHEN DID OUR ALMIGHTY CREATOR LOOSE HIS MIND AND GRANT WOMEN THE ORGAN TO QUACK THEIR INSIGNIFICANT OPINIONS? GET IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND CLEAN UP MY GROTESQUE BOXERS YOU SKANKWHORE, THE RATS IN THERE ARE MAKING MY PENIS ITCHY. BY THE WAY, HOW ABOUT SEX TONIGHT?

REMEMBER, NO IS JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR YES WHEN RAPE BEGINS TO MANIFEST ITSELF!

megan: why are you so ****ing gay?

IT'S A BIOLOGICAL DEVIATION, AS I WAS BORN FROM THE REPRODUCTIVE ACTIVITIES OF TWO MEN TOYING WITH EACH OTHER'S ANUS DURING THE ANNUAL GAY PARADE. SOMEHOW ONE MAN'S SPERM HAPPENED TO CRAWL THROUGH THE RECTUM AND RIGHT INTO THE OTHER MAN'S FALLOPEAN TUBES, IMPREGNATING THE OVALS AND CREATING THE NASTY ZYGOTE THAT SOON BECAME ME FOURTY YEARS LATER. TO THIS DAY, I STILL DREAM OF EXPERIENCING SUCH MYTHICAL PLEASURES MYSELF. IF ANYONE WISHES TO DONATE FOR THIS TO HAPPEN THEN PERHAPS I CAN PAY FOR IT SOMEDAY, PLEASE HAVE SOME SYMPATHY FOR THE POOR!

Don: you are talking about the metalheads like they were punks are they that bad?

YOUR QUESTION HAS OFFICIALLY EXPANDED MY HORIZON! BECAUSE NOW COME TO THINK OF IT, YOU'VE FULLY CONVINCED ME THAT METALHEADS ARE NOT THE DIRTY, FILTHY, OBNOXIOUSLY OPINIONATED SCUMBAGS THAT THEY ACTUALLY ARE! I HAVE COMPILED UP A REPORT WITH NUMEROUS QUALITATIVE USES FOR YOUR FELLOW METALHEADS.

1. SCRAPING THE PISS STAINS OFF YOUR TOILET RIM

2. SWEEPING THE FUCKING FLOOR WITH THEIR FOUR FEET OF HAIR

3. SPEEDBUMPS FOR YOUR CHILDREN-SAFE NEIGHBOURHOOD

4. PLUGS FOR YOUR CHIMNEY ON CHRISTMAS DAY IN CASE YOUR LOCAL SANTA IS REPORTED TO BE A PEDOPHILE. (THIS IS LARGELY ASSUMING THAT THE SUBJECT YOU USE IS NOT A PEDOPHILE HIMSELF)

5. PUSH MOSHING.

OH WAIT, NEVERMIND... SCRAP NUMBER FIVE. NO PUSH MOSHING IN MY HOUSE, EVER. GO HYBERNATE YOUR HEAD INSIDE OF THE OVEN FOR THE WINTER FOR WARMTH.

Extol: What an idiot...what are you 12?

YES, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW OLD I AM YOU FUCKING VILE WASTE OF SKIN TISSUES. WHAT A MIRACLE IT IS FOR A CHILD PRODIGY LIKE ME TO OPERATE MY OWN ALBUM BLOG WITH ABUNDANT HITS ON A DAILY BASIS. GREAT GENERAL ASSUMPTION YOU MINDLESS FUCK.

I LOVE HOW WHEN METALHEADS DEGRADE THE HARDCORE SCENE, THEY'RE SEEM AS SOME SORT OF ELITE CREATURE EXPRESSING THEIR SELF-PRIDE AND INTEREST. BUT WHEN HARDCORE KIDS RETALIATE, METALFAGS BEGIN CONDESCENDING THEM IN TERMS THE ASSUMPTIONS MADE OF THEIR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, DEMOGRAPHY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION. HEY FAGGOTS, GET A HAIRCUT, GET THE FUCK LAID AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, GET THE FUCK OFF MY SITE. STOP REIGNING THIS INTERNET SUPERIORITY AND TAKE YOUR WORTHLESSLY OPINIONATED JUNK ELSEWHERE BECAUSE THIS IS MY WEBSITE AND I AM THE ONLY ONE PERMITTED TO BE OBNOXIOUS.

xxx: one thing i've noticed is how many times you've used faggot and gay in your reviews. are you really against homosexuals to that extent?

NO, I LIKE GAY GUYS JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY. IN FACT, I THINK I MAY LIKE THEM A LITTLE TOO MUCH, WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THIS IS SOME SORT OF DEEP-ROOTED CRISIS. ANYONE WANT TO HAND ME A ROPE FOR ME TO CLIMB OUT OF THIS STUFFY SEMEN-INFESTED CLOSET THAT I AM IN? I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!

CockNMuffins: WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME WEBMASTER?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH! FINALLY, SOMEONE ... WAIT A SECOND, DID YOU JUST COMPLIMENT WHAT I DO ON HERE YOU CRAZY FAGGOT?

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OFF MY SITE YOU JUDGEMENTALLY DISORIENTED FAGGOT BABBOON! I SWEAR TO FUCKING EVERY EGYPTIAN GOD IF I RECEIVE ANOTHER FANMAIL FROM YOU DELUSIONAL HOLY FAGGOTS, I WILL IMMEDIATELY SHUT DOWN THIS WEBSITE AND REDIRECT THIS DOMAIN TO AN ILLEGAL ARCHIVE OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY! THE FBI WILL HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH YOUR BROWSER'S HISTORY THE NEXT DAY!

*MASTURBATES FUROCIOUSLY*

How are you bro?

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU VILE PILE OF HORSE DOO-DOO, NOBODY IN THIS FUCKING FLAT WORLD EVER ASKED FOR YOUR PITY!