1. Camelot in Smithereens2. Uninventing the Wheel
3. Lamplighter
4. Death and Taxes
5. Casus Belli
6. I Am Become Death
7. House of 1000 Habeus Corpses
8. Dog and Pony Show
9. Traitor
BRIEF REVIEW:
REDUNDANTLY SPEAKING, MY PENIS IS WHAT IS THE "GHOST OF THE SALT WATER MACHINE", JUST BECAUSE AS PRAISED BY A DOZEN OF OTHER MEN, MY LOAD IS FILLED WITH NUTRITIONALLY SALTY VITAMINS! EXCEPT WHEN I'M NOT BLOWING A HUGE LOAD INTO YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, YOU'D BE TASTING SOME SWEET, SWEET CANDY LIQUID THAT IS THE PRODUCT OF MY DIABETIC FLUIDS. IT'S LIKE DRINKING CANDY WATER, EXCEPT WITHOUT THE TOOTHACHE IN THE LONG RUN YOU FUCKING HORNY CONTRADICTIONS TO HETEROSEXUALITY!
ON THE TOPIC OF INTERACTING WITH DIFFERENT FORMS OF LIQUID, I ONCE WENT SWIMMING IN A PUBLIC POOL. BEING THE PUSSY ASS NON-BOUYANT FAGGOT I AM, I USUALLY TRY MY BEST TO REMAIN IN THE SHALLOW END IN ORDER TO AVOID DROWNING. HOWEVER THIS TIME AS I WAS WALKING ON THE PLATFORM, I SLIPPED OFF THE WET EDGE AND LANDED STRAIGHT INTO THE DEEP POOL. HAVING TO SLAP THE WATER AND DESPERATELY THROWING DOWN TO SAVE MY LIFE, I WAS SCARED SHITLESS AND ACCIDENTALLY SHAT MY PANTS IN THE WATER. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE WATER SURROUNDING MY FIVE FEET OF MY RADIUS WENT COMPLETELY BROWN AND THERE WERE LITERALLY ONE SHIT NUGGET FLOATING AROUND ME. I WAS SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED I SUBMERGED MY HEAD UNDERWATER TO AVOID THE UNTHINKABLE THAT WAS NEXT TO COME.
AS A CHAMPION SPORT SWIMMER SWIMMED BY THE RADIUS OF MY SHIT, SHE INTERVALLY REARED HER HEAD OUT THE WATER TO CATCH HER BREATH. HOWEVER UNBEKNOWNST TO HER, THE MINUTE SHE OPENED HER MOUTH AND BREATHED IN WHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS FRESH OXYGEN, SHE SUCKED MY BROWN POOP NUGGET INTO HER WIDENED ORAL CAPACITY. AS SHE WAS CHOKING ON THIS HARD OBJECT DOWN HER THROAT, SHE WAS FIGHTING TO MAINTAIN HER CONTROL OF THE WATER. AFTER STRUGGLING FOR A FEW MINUTES WITH EVERYONE STARING AT HER, THE LIFEGUARD ENTERED THE POOL AND RESCUED HER BY PULLING HER OUT THE WATER.
AS THE SWIMMER WAS SEMI-CONSCIOUS AND ALMOST INCAPACITATED, THE LIFEGUARD DECIDES TO PERFORM CPR BY MOUTH-TO-MOUTH CONTACT WHILE PUMPING HER CHEST. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE SWIMMER REVIVES CONSCIOUSNESS AND FUCKING PROJECTS THE CHEWED UP SHIT RIGHT INTO THE LIFEGUARD'S MOUTH!! OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT WAS LIKE 2GIRLS1CUP FUCKING ALL OVER AGAIN! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! I NEVER KNEW WHAT'S ON THE INTERNET CAN BE SO ACCURATELY DEPICTED IN REALITY!!
I NOW WEAR A DIAPER WHEREVER I GO TO AVOID HUMILITATING SITUATIONS LIKE THE ONE DEPICTED ABOVE. FUCK YOU, MY BLADDER!!!!
ON THE TOPIC OF INTERACTING WITH DIFFERENT FORMS OF LIQUID, I ONCE WENT SWIMMING IN A PUBLIC POOL. BEING THE PUSSY ASS NON-BOUYANT FAGGOT I AM, I USUALLY TRY MY BEST TO REMAIN IN THE SHALLOW END IN ORDER TO AVOID DROWNING. HOWEVER THIS TIME AS I WAS WALKING ON THE PLATFORM, I SLIPPED OFF THE WET EDGE AND LANDED STRAIGHT INTO THE DEEP POOL. HAVING TO SLAP THE WATER AND DESPERATELY THROWING DOWN TO SAVE MY LIFE, I WAS SCARED SHITLESS AND ACCIDENTALLY SHAT MY PANTS IN THE WATER. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE WATER SURROUNDING MY FIVE FEET OF MY RADIUS WENT COMPLETELY BROWN AND THERE WERE LITERALLY ONE SHIT NUGGET FLOATING AROUND ME. I WAS SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED I SUBMERGED MY HEAD UNDERWATER TO AVOID THE UNTHINKABLE THAT WAS NEXT TO COME.
AS A CHAMPION SPORT SWIMMER SWIMMED BY THE RADIUS OF MY SHIT, SHE INTERVALLY REARED HER HEAD OUT THE WATER TO CATCH HER BREATH. HOWEVER UNBEKNOWNST TO HER, THE MINUTE SHE OPENED HER MOUTH AND BREATHED IN WHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS FRESH OXYGEN, SHE SUCKED MY BROWN POOP NUGGET INTO HER WIDENED ORAL CAPACITY. AS SHE WAS CHOKING ON THIS HARD OBJECT DOWN HER THROAT, SHE WAS FIGHTING TO MAINTAIN HER CONTROL OF THE WATER. AFTER STRUGGLING FOR A FEW MINUTES WITH EVERYONE STARING AT HER, THE LIFEGUARD ENTERED THE POOL AND RESCUED HER BY PULLING HER OUT THE WATER.
AS THE SWIMMER WAS SEMI-CONSCIOUS AND ALMOST INCAPACITATED, THE LIFEGUARD DECIDES TO PERFORM CPR BY MOUTH-TO-MOUTH CONTACT WHILE PUMPING HER CHEST. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE SWIMMER REVIVES CONSCIOUSNESS AND FUCKING PROJECTS THE CHEWED UP SHIT RIGHT INTO THE LIFEGUARD'S MOUTH!! OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT WAS LIKE 2GIRLS1CUP FUCKING ALL OVER AGAIN! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! I NEVER KNEW WHAT'S ON THE INTERNET CAN BE SO ACCURATELY DEPICTED IN REALITY!!
I NOW WEAR A DIAPER WHEREVER I GO TO AVOID HUMILITATING SITUATIONS LIKE THE ONE DEPICTED ABOVE. FUCK YOU, MY BLADDER!!!!
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