The Arson Portrait - 'Sacred Suicide'
"Debut full length album from Ohio metalcore band The Arson Portrait. Whether it's an instrumental production or a brutal song, you'll love this cd all the way through. With their focus on ministry, these guys definitely still know how to perform live and still bring that intensity into the studio. These guys work hard and it's easy to tell on Sacred Suicide. Ask for it at your local music store or buy online at the too close to call records online store. "
BRIEF REVIEW:
NOBODY CAN FIND INFORMATION ABOUT THIS STUPID ASS TEENAGE-CHRISTIAN BAND ANYWHERE OVER THE WEB, WHICH SURPRISES ME THAT I HAVE IT. I GUESS ON MY QUEST TO SEARCH FOR PRE-DEVELOPED TEENAGE BOYS MADE ME SEARCH MY LOCAL YOUTH SERVICES. SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS A MISSIONARY SO I CAN KNOCK ON PEOPLE'S DOORS AND ASK TO SPEAK TO THEIR SONS. (BUT NOT DAUGHTERS BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK LIKES GIRLS YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS?) I'M SO SICK OF WANKING OFF TO FEMALE CHILD PORNOGRAPHY THESE DAYS THAT I TRIED APPLYING AS A BAPTIST AT A CHURCH IN A NEIGHBOURHOOD WITH RICH DEMOGRAPHICS OF YOUTH. BUT THEY NEVER HIRED ME FOR THE POSITION I APPLIED FOR, PERHAPS BECAUSE THEY SAW THE BONER THAT ROSE OUT FROM MY CROTCH THE MINUTE THEY ASKED ME "DO YOU LIKE TO WORK WITH LITTLE CHILDREN". GODDAMNIT I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE WORE PANTS TO THE INTERVIEW, FUCK! I THINK GOD'S JUST RACIST AGAINST ME BECAUSE I'M WHITE, ESPECIALLY IN THE ERA OF MUSLIMS RAGHEADS TAKING OVER THE NATION. NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE ARE GOING TO HAVE FUCKING HARDCORE/METALCORE BANDS DEVOTED TO THE NATION OF ISLAM AND SCREAMING ABOUT PRAISING ALLAH AND OPPOSING WOMEN... OH WAIT, HOLD ON A MINUTE... XRACETRAITORX DID THAT MORE THAN A FUCKING DECADE AGO!
INSTEAD OF HOLDING SHOWS IN CHURCHES LIKE THIS FAGGOT BAND PROBABLY USED TO DO BACK WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER, WE SHOULD HOLD A TON OF SHOWS AT OUR LOCAL MOSQUES, SO I CAN COME MOSH WITH A TICKING TIMEBOMB THAT I CAN WEAR AS A KNAPSACK. I'LL EVEN DIGITALLY PROGRAM THE TICKINGS TO THE RHYTHM OF A STUPID BREAKDOWN SO THE BAND CAN PLAY TO IT WHILE THE KIDS DANCE AND I EXPLODE. ALL MY LIFE I WANTED TO BE A RADICAL JIHAD MUSLIM. I PARTICULARLY ENVY THEIR GOATEE'S. SO MUCH THAT I HAD A CRUSH ON SERJ TANKIAN THROUGHOUT HIS WHOLE ENTIRE MUSICAL CAREER. EVERY TIME THERE'S A SYSTEM OF A DOWN, I HAVE A BONER OF AN UP!! (THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE SO YOU WILL NOW LAUGH TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER PLEASE).
ME FUNNIE
BACK TO THE TOPIC OF CHRISTIAN HARDCORE THOUGH. SURE, I'M GLAD THEY'RE NOT UNHOLY ISLAMIC FAGGOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I'M SICK OF THIS PHENOMENON. NOT ONLY EVERY OTHER TEENAGE BAND DOWN IN THE SOUTH REPRESENTS SOME FAITH OF JESUS, AND PREACH AT THEIR FUCKING STUPID ASS SHOWS. NOT ONLY THAT, I HAVE FUCKING FAGGOTS ON MY COMMENT BOXES STICKING UP FOR THE NAME OF LORD. THANKS YOU FUCKING STUPID ASS MISSIONARIES. IF DEALING WITH YOU FAGGOTS IN FRONT OF MY DOOR HERE IN THE PROJECTS AIN'T ENOUGH, YOU SOMEHOW FOUND YOUR WAY INTO MY BLOG LIKE ADVANCED GOOGLE SPIDER TECHNOLOGY. I'M FUCKING SICK OF THEIR BULLSHIT. I MEAN EVERY TIME YOU KNOCK ON MY DOOR HERE IN THE SUBSIDIZED WELFARE COMMUNITY, I RISK OPENING THE DOOR ONLY TO BE GRAZED IN THE HEAD BY A RANDOM BULLET SHOT BY A NIGGER.
I DON'T KNOW WHY ALL THESE NIGGERS ARE AFTER ME, AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE TIGHT BLOOD BROTHERS FROM THE HOOD? IT'S NOT LIKE I DO ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST BLASTING MY FAGGOT SCREAMING-ASS DEATHCORE MUSIC TO THE LOUDEST DURING 12:00 AT NIGHT IN ATTEMPT TO CURE MY INSOMNIA. AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GO OVERBOARD WITH SHOUTING EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF NIGGER JOKES OUT THE WINDOW DAILY IN THE HOPES OF SCORING SOMEBODY'S HIDEOUS BLACK MOTHER (WITHOUT PAYING THIS TIME). IF IT WEREN'T FOR THESE PROSTITUTES AROUND THE BLOCK, I'D NEVER GET LAID ANYWAYS! THANK GOD FOR NIGGERS IN MA HOOD BRAP BRAP.
BUT SERIOUSLY, STOP COMING TO MY FRONT DOOR AND MAKING YOUR WAY ONTO MY BLOG COMMENTS. I'M SICK OF THIS CHRISTIANITY PANDEMIC BULLSHIT. NEXT FAGGOTS THAT WANT TO PREACH AT MY DOOR, MAKE SURE THEY'RE THE TEENY-BOPPING MEMBERS OF "THE ARSON PORTRAIT" SO I CAN MAKE THE SEMEN PORTRAIT ON THEIR FUCKING CHESTS AFTER I TIE THEM UP IN MY BASEMENT AND MAKING THEM SING ME GOSPEL HYMNS WHILE I CUM INTO THEIR MOUTHS WHEN THEY COLLECTIVELY HIT A HIGH OCTAVE.
ME FUNNIE
BACK TO THE TOPIC OF CHRISTIAN HARDCORE THOUGH. SURE, I'M GLAD THEY'RE NOT UNHOLY ISLAMIC FAGGOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I'M SICK OF THIS PHENOMENON. NOT ONLY EVERY OTHER TEENAGE BAND DOWN IN THE SOUTH REPRESENTS SOME FAITH OF JESUS, AND PREACH AT THEIR FUCKING STUPID ASS SHOWS. NOT ONLY THAT, I HAVE FUCKING FAGGOTS ON MY COMMENT BOXES STICKING UP FOR THE NAME OF LORD. THANKS YOU FUCKING STUPID ASS MISSIONARIES. IF DEALING WITH YOU FAGGOTS IN FRONT OF MY DOOR HERE IN THE PROJECTS AIN'T ENOUGH, YOU SOMEHOW FOUND YOUR WAY INTO MY BLOG LIKE ADVANCED GOOGLE SPIDER TECHNOLOGY. I'M FUCKING SICK OF THEIR BULLSHIT. I MEAN EVERY TIME YOU KNOCK ON MY DOOR HERE IN THE SUBSIDIZED WELFARE COMMUNITY, I RISK OPENING THE DOOR ONLY TO BE GRAZED IN THE HEAD BY A RANDOM BULLET SHOT BY A NIGGER.
I DON'T KNOW WHY ALL THESE NIGGERS ARE AFTER ME, AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE TIGHT BLOOD BROTHERS FROM THE HOOD? IT'S NOT LIKE I DO ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST BLASTING MY FAGGOT SCREAMING-ASS DEATHCORE MUSIC TO THE LOUDEST DURING 12:00 AT NIGHT IN ATTEMPT TO CURE MY INSOMNIA. AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GO OVERBOARD WITH SHOUTING EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF NIGGER JOKES OUT THE WINDOW DAILY IN THE HOPES OF SCORING SOMEBODY'S HIDEOUS BLACK MOTHER (WITHOUT PAYING THIS TIME). IF IT WEREN'T FOR THESE PROSTITUTES AROUND THE BLOCK, I'D NEVER GET LAID ANYWAYS! THANK GOD FOR NIGGERS IN MA HOOD BRAP BRAP.
BUT SERIOUSLY, STOP COMING TO MY FRONT DOOR AND MAKING YOUR WAY ONTO MY BLOG COMMENTS. I'M SICK OF THIS CHRISTIANITY PANDEMIC BULLSHIT. NEXT FAGGOTS THAT WANT TO PREACH AT MY DOOR, MAKE SURE THEY'RE THE TEENY-BOPPING MEMBERS OF "THE ARSON PORTRAIT" SO I CAN MAKE THE SEMEN PORTRAIT ON THEIR FUCKING CHESTS AFTER I TIE THEM UP IN MY BASEMENT AND MAKING THEM SING ME GOSPEL HYMNS WHILE I CUM INTO THEIR MOUTHS WHEN THEY COLLECTIVELY HIT A HIGH OCTAVE.
2 comments:
this one only rates about a 2 out of 10 in comparison to some of your older posts. You have lost your touch, maybe you should take the hint and learn something. Your ignorance is far from bliss in this situation. It's funny, because you call everybody out only because you are hiding from something. This is your wall that you put up to make yourself feel better. I'm sorry, but you came into this world with nothing, and will leave with nothing. Find something to make yourself happy... I can tell you sir, that this isn't going to last forever. You can tell me you don't care.. but it's human nature to care about something. Deep down you care about somethinggg.
The Arson Portrait was a central Ohio band circulating the scene in 2005-2008-ish. I believe they broke up in 2008 after Sacred Suicide was recorded.
From what I understand that was the only formally recorded and released album that they put together. They catered to the high school youth group hardcore scene....that seemed to be most of the kids at their shows, I attended a few back in the day on my quest for the most awesome sound of all time.
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