BRIEF REVIEW:
HOW CAN YOU TELL WHEN A FUCKING GAY AND BROKEASS GRIND ACT IS DESPERATE TO GET THEMSELVES HEARD IN THEIR CITY'S VIBRANT GAY SCENE? SIMPLE! PLAN AN INSIGNIFICANTLY EMPTY TOUR TO THE RURAL FUCKTOWNS AROUND THE URBAN METROPOLIS WITH NO MORE THAN THE SECURITY GUARD AND SOUND GUY AT EVER SHOW, AND RECORD BLASPHEMOUS NOISE ENTIRELY BEFORE DISTRIBUTING IT UNDERGROUND THROUGH HOMOEROTICA PLAYTOY VENDORS! SERIOUSLY, HOW DOES A BAND LIKE THIS THRIVE FOR SO FUCKING LONG? THEIR DADDIES MUST BE JUDGES AND DOCTORS TO SUFFICIENTLY SUPPORT SUCH AN UNPRODUCTIVE HOBBY. THEY CAN PLAY A SINGLE CHORD ON STAGE AND THEIR DEAF/MUTE FANS WILL THINK IT'S A FUCKING MASTERPIECE. I CAN BREAK FIVE FUCKING STRINGS OFF MY GUITAR AND STILL COVER EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR SONGS!
WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST IS THAT PARTISAN MUSIC CRITICS WILL REVIEW THESE ALBUMS AS "GROUNDBREAKING MATHCORE/AVANT GARDE JAZZCORE". NO YOU FUCKING GENRE-CREATING FAGGOT, THIS SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE BEETHOVEN'S NINTH SYMPHONY. GO DANCE TO YOUR TCHAIKOVSKY SOMEWHERE ELSE YOU METROSEXUAL GIMP. PSYOPUS IS MATH, AND INTO THE MOAT IS MATH. COMPARED TO TECHNICAL MATHEMATICS, THESE GUYS ARE LIKE COUNTING A SINGLE FUCKING PEA. GO CALCULATE MY THICK ASSHAIRS YOU FAGGOTS, STOP RELYING ON MOVIE PASSAGES TO OVERTAKE THE DURATION OF YOUR SONGS, YOU LIMP WRISTED FAGGOTS!
SO IT'S NOT A SURPRISE THAT THEY ACTUALLY BROKE UP. PHEW, THANK GOD. SOME OF THEM WENT INTO BURY YOUR DEAD WHILE OTHERS DECIDED TO BE FAGGOTS. WHILE FORMING BURY YOUR DEAD IS ACCEPTABLE, WHY DID THE REST DECIDE TO JOIN DAUGHTERS? SERIOUSLY, CAN YOU STOP?
ALSO, HOW DO YOU PLAY A SHOW IN RHODES ISLAND WITHOUT FALLING OFF THE FUCKING MAP ANYWAYS? I'M REALLY CURIOUS TO KNOW. FUCK YOU.
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