MOST DEFINITELY THE WORST HARDCORE / METALCORE / GRINDCORE BLOGSPOT ON THE NET

HTTP://WWW.DEADONTHEDANCEFLOOR.COM
HTTP://DEADONTHEDANCEFLOOR.BLOGSPOT.COM

VOTE WEBMASTER FOR PRESIDENT 2012 (SO THAT FILTHY HALF-BREEF NEGROID HAS NO CHANCE OF RUNNING THE SECOND TERM ONLY TO RISK HIMSELF FROM BEING TORCHED ON A BURNING KKKROSS)!





THE TRANSCENDENCE TO A PINK LAYOUT IS THE FINAL MANIFESTATION OF MY EXTREME HOMOSEXUALITY I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO REPRESS ENTIRELY THROUGHOUT MY MISERABLY CONFUSED LIFE! I CAN'T HIDE THIS MY BLATANT HORMONES ANY LONGER! PLEASE FUCK ME WITH YOUR AIDS STICK YOU HOLY FUCKING FAGGOTS?

DISCLAIMER: IN ORDER TO FIT IN WITH EVERY OTHER HALF-ASSED LAW-ABIDING PUSSY-ASS ALBUM BLOGS OUT ON THE NET, I WILL HAVE TO REMIND ALL YOU PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENICS THAT I DO NOT HOST ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE BUT MERELY REDIRECT YOU TO LINKS OF RIPPED ALBUMS THAT SOMEHOW MIRACULOUSLY PRE-EXISTED ON THE INTERNET DUE TO STRANGE FORCES OF NATURE. PIRATE THESE ALBUMS AT YOUR OWN CONSEQUENTIAL RISKS YOU FUCKING COWARDLY METALHEAD FAGGOTS.

(BOOKMARK THIS SITE SO YOUR OBESELY UNEMPLOYED MOTHER REALIZES THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE BEEN JERKING OFF TO WITH HER INTERNET BILLS)


TOTALLY ANONYMOUS AND ABSOLUTELY NO REGISTRATION REQUIRED!

Friday, June 1, 2012

BOTCH - 061502

1. St. Mathew Returns To The Womb
2. C. Thomas Howell As The “Soul Man”
3. John Woo
4. Japam
5. Oma
6. Frequency Ass Bandit
7. Thank God For The Worker Bees
8. Framce
9. Third Part In A Tragedy
10. Rock Lobster
11. Transitions From Persona To Object
12. To Our Friends In The Great White North
13. Hutton’s Great Heat Engine
14. Man The Ramparts


BRIEF REVIEW:

I'M SO FUCKING LONELY UP IN MY BASEMENT DURING THE DAWN OF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE THAT I THINK I MAY ALMOST MAKE LOVE TO A FUCKING ZOMBIE BEFORE LETTING HIM GIVE ME THE GREATEST FACE-LIFT OPERATION IN THE WORLD BY ALLOWING HIM TO CANNIBALIZE 80% OF MY HIDEOUSLY GROTESQUE FACE. IT IS OBVIOUS I WANT TO BE THE NEXT HOMELESS RONALD POPPO WITH MY BODY COMPONENTS COMPLETELY CHEWED OFF. UNLIKE A MALNOURISHED HOMELESS JUNKIE-LOOKING TWAT, I AM A FAT OBESE WHITE MAN WHO CAN PROVIDE ALL THE FOOD AND NUTRITION THAT A GODDAMN BATH-SALT ENHANCED ZOMBIE NEGRO "RUDY EUGENE" CAN EVER NEED. I DON'T UNDERSTAND SEXY NEGRO CANNIBALS. WHY DO THEY TAKE OUT THEIR OWN KIND INSTEAD OF DEVOURING MY DELICIOUS BODY PARTS? IT'S NOT FAIR. BEING CANNIBALIZED BY A WELFARE-DEPENDENT NIGGER WHILE HIGH ON BATHROOM CHEMICALS WHILE GETTING THE BIGGEST BONER HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT MY CHILDHOOD DREAM SINCE THE RACE-MIXING CULTURAL REVOLUTION OF THE SIXTIES!!

I DON'T KNOW HOW THE MIAMI DOCTORS ARE GOING TO "RECONSTRUCT" THAT HOMELESS POPPO'S FUCKING FACE AFTER THIS HILARIOUS INCIDENT. LIKE ARE THEY GOING TO COVER HIS ENTIRE MISSING FACIAL SURFACE WITH PLASTIC AND METAL COMPONENTS? MIGHT AS WELL MAKE HIM THE NEXT FUCKING ROBOCOP THEN. GIVE HIM A MICROCHIP TOO AND PROGRAM HIM TO STOP ACTING LIKE A HOMELESS NIGGER AND PERHAPS SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HIM IN THE FUTURE. AND THEN INSERT A CRIME-STOPPER USB PROGRAM TO MAKE HIM SHOOT OTHER CANNIBAL BLACKS JACKED OFF OF HOME-MADE STIMULANTS SO SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IN OUR FRIGHTENINGLY BARBARIC FUTURE.

BUT SERIOUSLY I WONDER WHO THE FUCK IS READY FOR THIS INEVITABLE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SHENANIGAN. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. I'VE DUG A BUNKER IN MY MOTHER'S FUCKING BASEMENT THAT IS SO DEEP, I SWEAR TO GOD I'M BEGINNING TO SMELL THE CURRY THAT'S BEEN COOKING IN SOUTH ASIA. IN PREPARATION FOR THE IMPENDING ARMAGEDDON WHERE ALL MODERN FORMS OF COMMUNICATION WILL BE RIPPED OFF AND RESOURCES WILL RUN SCARCE, I HAVE SUPPLIED MY SHELTER WITH ENDLESS FOOD, WATER, AND BATH SALT. FOOD AND WATER FOR SURVIVAL, AND BATH SALT TO JOIN THE DEAD IF I CANNOT DEFEAT THEM, OF COURSE. PLUS, INGESTING BATH SALT WILL OBVIOUSLY BE THE CLOSEST I'LL EVER GET TO TAKING A BATH OR USING ANY BATH-LIKE PRODUCTS, AS I HAVE AVOIDED SUCH AN ACTIVITY FOR THE PAST THREE DECADES. THE GREATEST THREAT NEXT TO ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AND/OR NUCLEAR WARFARE IS SIMPLY ME SHOWING MY GROTESQUELY NASTY-ASS SELF IN PUBLIC AND ASPHYXIATING INNOCENT BYSTANDERS WITH MY UNSURVIVABLE STENCH THAT HAS BEEN CLASSIFIED AS IMMEDIATE LIFE-THREATENING GRADE-A RISK BY THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION!! I HAVE BEEN A TRAITOR TO OUR NATION FOR DECADES AS THE USSR ADMINISTRATION HAS PAID ME TO INVOLVE MYSELF IN RESEARCHES ON BIOHAZARDOUS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION THAT REQUIRES MY TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN JUST LIFTING UP MY FUCKING ARM PITS. ZOMBIES... A THREAT? SINCE WHEN?

THERE'S SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BUT I JUST DON'T HAVE THE WILL TO TYPE IT ALL. LUCKILY MY TWELVE FOOT LONG PENIS IS A GIGANTIC FLAMETHROWER THAT WILL ANNIHILATE EARTH WHEN IT QUICKLY TURNS INTO A SCORCHED PIECE OF SHIT. AND WHEN I PRESS MY LEFT TESTICLE A GIGANTIC ROCKET LAUNCHES OUT AND TURNS ANY ONCE-GREAT CIVILIZATION INTO TOTAL OBLIVION. FUCK YOU, EGYPTIANS AND MAYANS. MY GIGANTIC WANG IS THE ONLY FUCKING WEAPON I NEED TO SURVIVE THIS DOOMSDAY PROPHECY. IT'S SO PRECIOUS THAT I DON'T EVEN NEED AN ASSHOLE TO SHIT. THAT'S RIGHT YOU ZOMBIE-FEARING FAGGOTS, I SHIT OUT FROM MY COCK AND PISS OUT OF MY BUTT. WHO'S THE ODD FUCKING WORLD-RENOWNED FREAK NOW?

PREPARE FOR MORE MINDLESS ZOMBIE UPDATES IN THE NEAR FUTURE. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID "MINDLESS". WHAT A TASTELESS JOKE. DEAR UNDEAD: FUCK ME UP MY RABIE-INFESTED BUTTHOLE.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

WAR HOUND - COLDER THAN EVER

1. Blue
2. Colder Than Ever (Ft. Tom Of Unfinished Business)
3. No Love
4. Cut Short
5. The Realness (Ft. Shane And Luke Of The Killer)
6. Vibe (Ft. Colin Of Twitching Tongues)
7. Pariah (Ft. Stikman Of Fury Of Five)
8. Die Slow
9. Big Brother (Ft. Senta Of Numb And Dave Ta Lose)
10. The Abyss
11. The Other Side



BRIEF REVIEW:

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! 

DON'T YOU LOVE A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOW-LIFE SCUMBAGS WHO ARE SO DISENFRANCHISED AND ALIENATED FROM SOCIETY THAT THEY THINK THEY'RE A BUNCH OF FUCKING DOGS? COME INTO UNCLE WEBMASTER WONG'S HOME-MADE SOUP YOU FUCKING DELICIOUS SOUNDING BEAGLES! BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU HAVE PROBLEMS ADJUSTING INTO THE AMERICAN VALUES DURING ADULTHOOD WHEN YOU PLAY IN A GANG-ORIENTED BAND BARKING LIKE YOU'RE A BUNCH OF AGGRESSIVE BLOODHOUND WOLVES. SO WHY NOT RATHER THAN HAVING THE STATE PUT YOU DOWN BY INJECTION, I'LL JUST MAKE A DEAL WITH CHINATOWN FOR THOSE HUNGRY ASS CHINKOIDS TO PUT YA'LL DOWN AND MAKE DELICIOUS MEALS OUT OF YOU FOR CHINESE NEW YEARS? YOU'D DEFINITELY BE MORE THAN ENOUGH FEED WANG WONG'S EXTENDED FAMILY OF TWENTY-FIVE OVERPOPULATED CHINKS!

I'D LOVE TO SEE PETA SPONSOR THIS BAND BECAUSE IT'S BASICALLY LIKE ADOPTING A BUNCH OF FUCKING TRAGICALLY UNDOMESTICATED PETS. I WONDER IF THESE FAT GERMAN-SHEPARD LOOKING PIECES OF SHIT ARE PUT ON LEASHES WHEN THEY TOUR BECAUSE I'D DEFINITELY ASSUME IT WOULD BE A FUCKING HAZARD IF HANDLED OTHERWISE. I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY MAKE HARDCORE BANDS SO INTIMIDATING THESE DAYS. FOR EXAMPLE WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MEAN WHEN THIS BAND'S BRINGIN' BACK HARDSTYLE? WHAT THE FUCK IS HARDSTYLE? I FORGOT BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE RAVED WITH TEENAGE FAGGOTS. I MEAN I'VE ONLY BEEN TO JAIL TWICE FOR MASTURBATION IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAYGROUNDS AND THE BRUTAL "HARDSTYLE" TREATMENT I'VE RECEIVED UP MY BUMHOLE FROM OTHER NIGGER INMATES IS THE LAST THING I EVER WANT THE RETURN OF. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF HAVING MY PEE-PEE JERKED BY SOME COLOURED JAILBIRDS WHILE I'M ATTEMPTING TO TAKE A FUCKING DUMP IN THE PUBLIC INSTITUTIONAL STALLS, SO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT THAT SORT OF SERVICE BY A BUNCH OF CONVICTS WHO HOWL LIKE THEY'RE A BUNCH OF FUCKING DOGS???

FUCK YOU WAR HOUND.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

LOVE SEX MACHINE - SELF-TITLED

1. Anal On Deceased Virgin
2. Deafening Peepshow
3. Fucking Battle
4. Antagonism Can STFU
5. Plenty Of Feelings
6. Vagina Curse
7. Killed With A Monster Cock
8. Warstrike Takes The Piss


BRIEF REVIEW:

WELCOME TO THE YEAR OF 2012 WHERE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING BAND SOUNDS EXACTLY THE SAME FROM EACH OTHER.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT BULLSHIT METALCORE CRAZE THROUGHOUT THE LAST DECADE THAT HAS ATTRACTED SO MUCH CRITICISM IN TERMS OF ITS OVERUSE OF WATERED DOWN DERIVATIVES OF EACH OTHER? STUPID CRITIQUES CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THAT BULLSHIT ALREADY BECAUSE IT ULTIMATELY BECAME A TREND TO BASH ON METALCORE MORE SO THAN APPRECIATING THE IMPACT THE GENRE ACTUALLY HAD IN OUR MUSICAL CULTURE. WHAT WAS AWFULLY IRONIC IS THAT JUST AS BANDS WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM USING REPETITIVE METALCORE ELEMENTS, THEY RESORTED TO THIS GAY-ASS DOOM, SLUDGE AND CRUST ELEMENTS THAT SOUNDS EVEN MORE STALE AND MONOTONOUS THAN EVER.

INTRODUCING LOVE SEX MACHINE. A BAND FULL OF FRENCH FAGGOTS WHO PROBABLY SPEAK LIKE THEY'VE ALL GOT FROGS STUCK IN THEIR MOUTHS. JUST AS YOU THINK YOU THINK THEIR FRENCH ACCENT IS OF SOMETHING BARBARICALLY UNBEARABLE, WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THIS FUCKING HORSE DOO-DOO THAT PEOPLE CALL MUSIC. ALL IT IS IS SIMPLY EIGHT TRACKS OF BASS-HEAVY DROP-TUNED OPEN-CHORD GARBAGE THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN IMPENDING SEISMIC VOLCANO READY TO BLOW IN THE MIDST OF FIJI. AS EXCITING AS THAT MAY SOUND, THE FUCKING ISSUE IS THERE IS NOTHING "MUSICAL" ABOUT PLAYING AN OPEN CHORD. HERE, LET ME TAB OUT ONE OF THEIR SONGS (AND KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS IS THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF HOW EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR TRACKS IN THIS ALBUM GOES):

000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000000-00000-0000-00-0000-000-000-000-000-00000-000-0000-000-000-000-000-00-0-0-000000-0000-0-000-0000000000--00000-0-0---00000

I'VE SEEN MORE ARTISTIC CREATIVITY IN BINARY COMPUTER PROGRAMMING YOU FUCKING DUMBASS PIECES OF HANDICAPS. IT MUST HAVE BEEN CHEAP TO BUY A GUITAR WITH ONLY ONE FRET YOU STUPID POVERTY-STRICKEN FAGGOTS. THE TAB SHEET LOOKS LIKE MY SPHERICAL SHIT NUGGETS POPPING OUT OF MY ANUS AFTER A WEEK'S DIET ON KRAFT DINNER AND RAMEN NOODLE RECIPES, YOU FUCKIN' CREATIVITY IMPAIRED RETARDS. I CAN JIZZ OVER A MUSIC TABULATION SHEET AND PRODUCE SOMETHING THAT WOULD SEEM LIKE A STADIUM MASTERPIECE COMPARED TO YOUR TONE-DEAF BULLSHIT. STOP COMPOSING WHAT YOU DEFINE AS "MUSIC" IMMEDIATELY YOU IMPAIRED BABOONS.

I'VE HEARD MORE MUSICAL INTEGRITY FROM MUTE NIGGERS SINGING ACAPELLA YOU DUMB FUCKS. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THERE'S A WHOLE MOVEMENT OF THIS APPALLING GARBAGE ON THROATRUINER RECORDS , SOME REDUNDANT FRENCH LABEL THAT SIGNS COUNTLESS GARBAGE BANDS LIKE THIS. I CAN JUST IMAGINE THEIR SHOWS CONSISTING OF A BUNCH OF STONED OUT METAL HEADS IN PONY TAILS MIXED IN WITH A FEW ODD LOOKING HARDCORE KIDS THAT FEEL OUT OF PLACE. HAHAHAHAHA. I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE THIS NEW MOVEMENT. GO GET YOUR ONE ARM AMPUTATED AND PLAY IN A BAND JUST AS GOOD AS THIS, YOU TALENTLESS GIMPS. ACTUALLY BETTER YET, JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SCENE.

AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE NAME OF THIS BAND? LOVE, SEX, MACHINE? LOVE, SEX, AND MASTURBATION IS MORE LIKE IT. EXCEPT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN GET FROM THE THREE EXCEPT FOR THE LAST ONE. BUT THEN AGAIN I WAS TO AMPUTATE MY ARMS TO PLAY THIS SHIT MUSIC, LOOKS LIKE I WON'T BE PERFORMING THE LAST ACTIVITY ON MYSELF EITHER. IT'S A FUCKING PITY. IMAGINE MAKING LOVE TO THIS FUCKING MUSIC: MY DICK WOULD BE SOFT FOR A WHOLE ENTIRE THIRTY MINUTES OF THIS ALBUM'S DURATION AND THE PAID HOOKER RIDING ON TOP OF ME WOULD PROBABLY THINK I HAVE A VAGINA FOR A NUT-SACK. THANK YOU FOR WASTING MY MONEY AND FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, LOVE SEX MACHINE.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

HOW IT ENDS - SO SHALL IT BE


1 Empty Nothing Forever
2 End the Suffering
3 Thou Shall Not
4 Imprisoned
5 Time Life Took
6 Dying Eyes
7 Savior
8 Hardest Lesson
9 Painkiller
10 Crippled
11 Still Bleeding

DOWNLOAD (LINK FIXED)

BRIEF REVIEW:

I'M SO SICK OF BEING A FUCKING FORTY-EIGHT YEAR OLD BALDING PEDOPHILE VIRGIN WHO'S SLOWLY BEING KILLED BY LONELINESS AND THE DEPRAVITY FROM VIEWING MACABRE CANNIBAL SNUFF PORNOGRAPHY, THAT I'VE POSTED AN AWESOME AD ON CRAIGSLIST SELLING MYSELF OUT TO POTENTIAL OVERS! FUCK YEAH! THIS IS THE GREATEST MASTERPIECE I'VE WRITTEN IN A LIFETIME AND I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL E-MAILS AND PHONE CALLS START POURING IN! YA BABY...

FASHIONABLE SOCIOPATH SEEKS SEVERAL-NIGHT STAND: MEN4WOMEN

SO WE'RE CLEAR, THE HEADLINE MEANS I WEAR MY HALF-HEARTED ANTI-SOCIAL SENTIMENT ON MY SLEEVE. WITH REGARDS TO DRESS I AM IN NO WAY FASHION SAVVY. ALSO, ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOR IS NOT ASOCIAL BEHAVIOR. IT'S IMPORTANT TO NOTE THIS BECAUSE MANY PEOPLE CONFUSE ANTI-SOCIAL WITH NOT SOCIALIZING. THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME: A SERIES OF MIND-NUMBING CLARIFICATIONS. SUCH IS THE LIFE OF THE SHELTERED, SUPERFICIAL, DECEITFUL, MANIPULATIVE, MORALLY OBTUSE, PATHOLOGICALLY MISERABLE SYCOPHANT. ALSO, I DON'T MUCH SOCIALIZE.

                                                                
YES, YOU'VE GUESSED CORRECTLY. MY FASHIONABLE SOCIOPATHY AND FAIR-WEATHER REBELLION SPEAK OF A WORLD GONE COLD. WHAT HAPPENED IS THE EARTH EXPERIENCED AN EMOTIONAL ICE AGE IN THE 1990S. VIETNAM AND DESERT STORM WERE JUST RIPPLES, MAN. WE STILL HAD THE BAND FILTER, AND WANTED TO TAKE THEIR PICTURE. WE COULD STILL EXPRESS OUR OPINIONS THEN WITHOUT META AT A LEVEL OF MASTURBATORY PROPORTIONS. KURT KILLED HIMSELF STARTING A REVOLUTION OF ANGST AND SAD-BRAG MUSIC, AND SELF-PITY BECAME COOL INSTEAD OF THE PASSIVE ACCEPTANCE TOWARD SADNESS PREACHED BY BLUES. COLUMBINE CAME AND EFFECTIVELY MURDERED OUR TEEN SPIRIT. THE MATRIX BOTH ENLIGHTENED AND DESENSITIZED. COME Y2K SANITY WAS EFFECTIVELY DEAD AND ALONG WITH IT GOOD MANNERS.

NOW WE HAVE A SHALLOW SOCIETY OF ENDLESS SELF-REFERENCE. WHY NOT GO ALL OUT? FUCK THE DISINGENUOUS SARCASTIC LIGHTWEIGHTS OF THE INTERNET AGE. OR THE ENDLESS 3RD RATE CLONES OF BETTIE PAIGE. YOU KNOW WHY SHE STOOD OUT? BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T FOLLOW SOMEONE'S LEAD. NOW WE HAVE FAUX REVOLUTIONARIES WHO PROBABLY BELIEVE CHE GUEVARA WORE CHE GUEVARA TEES. "INTEGRITY IS A COMMODITY TRADED AS CARELESSLY AS POGS," SAID THE FOUNDING FATHERS OF THIS ONCE GREAT NATION. ALL IT TAKES IS INDIFFERENCE FROM GOOD MEN TO ENSURE THE TRIUMPH OF EVIL. WE NEED A HEDONIST. WE NEED ONE MAN TO GO TO THE DEPTHS OF AN EXTREME IDEAL; ONE THAT FAVORS PLEASURE-SEEKING, SHALLOW AFFECTIONS, AND BRIBES THE MASSES WITH THEIR OWN DESIRE TO BE LED. WE NEED THIS FIGURE TO TYPIFY ALL THAT ISN'T RIGHT. A FACE FOR THE MASSES TO POINT AT AND SAY, "THAT'S THE BAD GUY." A MAN WHO STANDS UP TO THIS DECAYING MODERN AGE AND PROCLAIMS: TO HELL WITH PETTY SARCASM. I'M LEVEL 2 IRONIC.

TO QUOTE COHEN, I'M YOUR MAN. COME TAKE A RIDE WITH ME AS WE BRING ON THE SINGULARITY. LIKE RYAN GOSLING IN DRIVE, YOUR PROTAGONIST IS A QUIET BUTTERFLY, GENTLY HANDLING THE TOOTHPICK FROM HIS PANDA EXPRESS SAMPLER. NEXT MINUTE HE'S EXPLOSIVE; POINTING AN IMAGINARY GUN-FINGER AT YOUR FACE AND STOMPING OUT THE HEAD OF AN OFFENDING HOTDOG VENDOR. COME FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS. NO ANTIHERO OF NATURAL BORN EVIL EVER MADE IT TO HOLLYWOOD WITHOUT A HOT LITTLE NUMBER BY HIS SIDE. DON'T TRUST ANYONE'S THE MOTTO, BUT IT NEVER HOLDS WATER WITH A FEMME FATALE. SHE'S CRAFTY AND SLY AND BASICALLY A ROBOT. COMPLACENCY IS THE TICKET WITH A PROSPECTIVE MATE. FORGET ROMANTIC DATES AND SPONTANEITY, YOU ARE TO BE AN ELABORATE BIOHAZARD BIN. YOU COLLECT MY SPECIMEN AND YOUR LID STAYS SHUT, YOU GOT THAT? THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING FOR THESE DAYS. THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS IS ACHING FOR A NECRO-EROTIC EXPERIENCE SO WE'VE DISTANCED OURSELVES WITH PORNOGRAPHY, PLASTIC TOY WOMEN, AND REAL WOMEN WITH PLASTIC ENHANCEMENTS.

THE PERILS OF MY DEVIL MAY CARE ATTITUDE ARE QUICKLY DIMINISHED BY ANY GLIB SLOGAN. "BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW THAN THE DEVIL YOU DON'T," I'LL QUOTE, SUBDUING YOU WITH A SUBCONSCIOUS REAFFIRMATION OF LOVE'S INEVITABLE SHACKLES. WORRY FREE, WE'LL BE LYING THERE, WITH YOUR HAND GRABBING MY SINISTER CHEST HAIR AS I RAVE ABOUT DEPRAVED ASPIRATIONS: MY LIFE GOAL OF MARRYING A LESBIAN SIMPLY FOR SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT; MY DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR THAT INCLUDE HALLUCINATORY EPISODES WHERE I'M GIVEN A KEY TO THE CITY AND WORK AS A QUALITY ASSURANCE EXPERT FOR THE LOCAL ESCORT SERVICE. YOU'LL LIE THERE SLEEPING, MYSELF WIDE AWAKE AND HARDLY BLINKING, SILENTLY WATCHING YOU BREATHING. WHISPERING WORDS INTO YOUR SLEEP, ECHOED IN DREAMS, I'LL SAY, "TAKE ME TO YOUR MOTHER'S PLACE AND BUY MORE ROSE-PRINTED DUVETS," AS I SECRETLY ENJOY THOSE THINGS. YES, A DEAD-EYED REPTILE LIES AT YOUR SIDE, MORE DANGEROUS THAN DICK CHENEY AT A HUNTING RANGE.

DO WHAT FEELS WRONG IS MY MOTTO. IT'S A WASTE TO LEAVE HALF YOUR PSYCHE IN THE DARK. WE SHY FROM SHAME AND BELIEVE POSITIVE THINKING WILL PERPETUATE ITSELF WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING THE FULL PICTURE. ILLUMINATE THE DARK RECESSES, EXPLORE THE SHADY CORNERS AND SEE WHAT YOU FIND, I SAY. LIKE MY DESIRE FOR A DIMPLED SWEETHEART NAMED ANNA WHO WORKS AT A ZOO. SHE SPORTS PIGTAILS AND COMES HOME AND COMPLAINS ABOUT A HARD DAY OF GETTING PANDAS TO MATE. "THESE GOSH DANG PANDAS JUST REFUSE TO FUCK!" SHE YELLS. "WE GIVE THEM GREENS, MASSAGES, VIAGRA. WE STROKE THEIR PLYWOOD WITH COW-PRINTED OVEN MITTS TO MAKE THEM FEEL AT HOME, AND STILL NOTHING!" IN MY VISIONS, I RESPOND WITH, "THERE, THERE, HONEY," AND STROKE HER HAIR, AND CLEAR THE PANDA JIZZ FROM HER EAR. "PANDAS ARE CUTE," I CONTINUE. "IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO BESTIAL THEY'RE THE ONE TO DO IT WITH." COME NIGHT ANNA PLAYS THE ANIMAL TO GROTESQUE SEXUAL ENDEAVORS. SHE'S DRAGGED OUT BACK LIKE OLD YELLER GRUNTING AND YELPING AND HUMPING AT MY LEG AND BEGGING TO TAKE ONE BETWEEN THE EYES. EXCUSE ME, I'M GETTING BESIDE MYSELF.

IN A WOMAN A MIXTURE OF SEX APPEAL, INTELLECTUAL VACANCY, AND UNQUESTIONING SUBMISSION ARE KEY. THANK GOD FOR GOD, AS RELIGION SHAPES SOME OF THE BEST BROADS THIS SIDE OF COMMON SENSE. NOTHING'S MORE ALLURING THAN A WOMAN SWAYED BY SHAME AND STRICKEN WITH THE BUG OF SUBSERVIENCE. SHE MUST HOWEVER MAINTAIN A MODEST AMOUNT OF SMARTS AS TO MAINTAIN PROPER WEIGHT. MOTHER NATURE'S PARADOX DICTATES WOMEN OVER 140LBS OR 30 YEARS OF AGE COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE ATTRACTIVE, AND WOMEN UNDER 140LBS OR 30 YEARS OF AGE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE SEXUALLY MATURE. AS SUCH, THE PERFECT MATE IS 140 POUNDS AND SEEKING A ONE-NIGHTER FOR HER THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY. PROPORTIONAL BODIES ARE A MUST. AN HOURGLASS FIGURE IS IDEAL. THAT, OR A BODY RESEMBLING A DRAWING BY COMIC ARTIST ROBERT CRUMB. EVEN CELLULITE IS ALRIGHT, AS I LIKE THE IDEA OF AN ASS SO AMBITIOUS THE SKIN CAN BARELY CONTAIN IT.

LISTEN, I'M AN INSULTING, UNSAVORY GUY. UNLIKE MY SPUNK, WHICH I'M TOLD IS SALTY AND SAVORY. IRONY IS THE CURRENCY OF THE UNIVERSE. EVERY OPINION HAS A FOOTNOTE. EVERY STANCE YOU CAN TAKE, EVERY VIEW YOU CAN HAVE, HAS A MILLION TINY STRINGS ATTACHED TO IT AND ABOUT HALF OF THEM CONTRADICT. DESPITE BEING POLITE, MEAN PEOPLE DESERVE TO BE MORTALLY BEATEN WITH LEMON-MARINATED CHICKEN LEGS, SO THE BURNING CITRUS COLLIDES WITH THEIR BITTER DISPOSITIONS FOR AN ADDED SENSE OF POETIC JUSTICE. DESPITE RECOGNIZING THE BEAUTY OF LOVE, ITS LOSS COULD DRIVE YOU TO CRUSH THROUGH A CROWDED SCHOOLYARD IN A MONSTER TRUCK SPORTING A PEDOBEAR EMBLEM AND A SWASTIKA. DESPITE SEEKING A HEIGHTENED AWARENESS, ONE CAN'T DENY THE SOUL'S OBSESSION WITH SADISM, SELF-DESTRUCTION, AND SASHA GREY. DESPITE SIDING WITH TOLERANCE, ANYONE LACKING TOLERANCE FOR THE INTOLERANT SHOULD BE NUDGED INTO A VAT OF SULFURIC ACID, BECAUSE FUCK YOU, REASON AND IRRATIONALITY MEET ON THE SAME DEAD END STREET. IT'S THE YIN. IT'S THE YANG. IT'S THE DUALITY OF MAN, SIR.

SHOULD YOU NOT BE SOLD AS OF YET AS TO MY SINCERITY, HERE ARE SOME REAL LIFE QUOTES BY SATISFIED FEMALE COUNTERPARTS:

"YOU'RE KIND OF AN ASSHOLE BUT I LIKE THAT."
"FEEL HOW WET I AM."

"YOU DESERVE LONELINESS THEN DEATH."


IF YOU WISH TO RIDE THE COATTAILS OF MY GIFT AND PROMISE TO LET A PLAYER BREATHE, I'LL PROJECT MY LOVE LIKE A LIGHTHOUSE HOMING IN A SHIP FROM SEA, AND WHEN YOU ARRIVE I'LL HAVE PREPARED A FEAST, AND A NIGHT OF PASSION, SHOULD YOU WIN AT A ROUND OF CRIBBAGE. OTHERWISE, HIT THE BLEACHERS. NO INUITS.

FUCK YES, I'M STOKED AS HELL FOR THIS. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DAY THAT I LOSE MY ANAL VIRGINITY BY HAVING SOME HUGE BLACK GORILLA COCK SHOVED SO FAR UP MY TIGHT RECTAL TUBE THAT IT COMES OUT OF MY LEFT EYE SOCKET.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

VEIL OF MAYA - [id]

1. "[id]" 0:43
2. "Unbreakable" 3:45
3. "Dark Passenger" 3:33
4. "The Higler" 3:00
5. "Martyrs" 1:14
6. "Resistance" 3:01
7. "Circle" 1:03
8. "Mowgli" 3:03
9. "Namaste" 3:30
10. "Conquer" 2:56
11. "Codex" 3:25


BRIEF REVIEW:

DO YOU REMEMBER BACK IN 2008 WHEN THIS WHOLE ENTIRE DJENT MOVEMENT FIRST CAME OUT? IT WAS A BUNCH OF SHITTY METALCORE BANDS RIPPING OFF AN EVEN SHITTIER METAL GIANT 'MESHUGGAH', CREATING WHAT WAS ULTIMATELY "MESHUGGAHCORE". I'M SORRY BUT UNLESS YOUR DRUMMER IS A OCTOPUS-HUMAN HYBRID, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY YOU CAN EVER REPLICATE MESHUGGAH'S INHUMAN POLY-RHYTHMIC PATTERNS YOU FUCKING TRY-HARD WANNABE'S. AND THAT IS ANOTHER PROOF FOR EURO-CENTRIC SWEDISH SUPREMACY: THEIR POPULATION IS SO FUCKING SUPERIOR TO THE AVERAGE HUMAN BEINGS THAT THEY'RE EVOLVING INTO GROTESQUE HALF-OCTOPUSES AND HALF MEN. WHICH I CAN'T REALLY SEE THE BENEFIT FOR THIS WORLD TO HAVE IN TERMS OF NATURAL SELECTION, BUT I CAN DEFINITELY SEE THE AMAZING BENEFITS SUCH TENTACLES WOULD HAVE IN FONDLING MY ABNORMALLY HUGE NUTSACK AND PROBING MY JUNGLE-LIKE ANUS HOLE EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. DEAR DRUMMER OF MESHUGGAH: QUIT YOUR LAUGHABLE NON-CAREER DRUMMING FOR A FAGGOT METAL BAND AND COME PROBE MY RECTUM ON A NIGHTLY BASIS FOR EQUAL, IF NOT BETTER PAY!!!

BUT SERIOUSLY LISTEN TO ME, THIS DJENTCORE CRAP IS THE WORST SHIT EVER YOU STUPID FUCKIN FAGGOTS. FIRST AND FOREMOST, WHAT THE FUCK IS "DJENT"? HOW DO YOU EVEN PRONOUNCE THAT FUCKING WORD? IT SOUNDS LIKE A DOWN SYNDROME KID TRYING TO MIMIC HELEN KELLER DURING HER FIRST FUCKING WORDS EVER WHILE GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS BY A DYING NIGGER BEING HUNG IN HER BACKYARD. WHY MUST YOU RAPE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WORSE THAN NIGGERS HAVE RAPED IT WITH RAP MUSIC? UNACCEPTABLE. SECOND OF ALL, I DON'T CARE IF YOUR GUITARIST PLAYS ON A GUITAR WITH MORE STRINGS THAN HE'S GOT FINGERS AND TOES BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR A SINGLE STATIC NOTE EVER WHEN HE ROLLS HIS FUCKING WHOLE BODY ACROSS THE FRET BOARD WHILE EXPLORING EVERY MAJOR AND MINOR OF A PENTATONIC SCALE. I MEAN IT'S GREAT THAT YOU KNOW YOUR NOTES FAGGOT BUT IF I WANTED TO HEAR YNGWIE MALMSTEEN THEN I'D SIMPLY JUST KILL MYSELF ALREADY YOU STUPID DOUCHEBAGS. THIRDLY, I FUCKING HATE THE KEYBOARD AND DJ CRAP AS WELL THAT MAKES THE WHOLE SHIT SOUND LIKE A MECHANIC RAVE SET THAT WENT HORRIBLY HORRIBLY WRONG. LIKE WHAT IS THIS... THE CRADLE FILTH VS. SLIPKNOT OF 2012? IF YOU WANT TO DO ELECTRONICS THEN FUCKING DO ELECTRONICS. STOP PALM MUTING THOSE GUITARS IN THE MIDST OF ALL THAT MESSY ELECTRONIC AMBIENCE AND MAKE IT SOUND LIKE ALL YOUR GEARS ARE MALFUNCTIONING AND BREAKING DOWN YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS. IF YOU DISLIKE YOUR INSTRUMENTS THAT MUCH AND WANT TO MAKE IT BREAK DOWN THEN I'LL DO YOU A FAVOUR AND ROB YOU FAGGOTS THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE PLAYING IN MY GODDAMN HOOD AND PUT YOUR SAD MUSICAL CAREER OUT OF ITS MISERY, YOU FUCKING STUPID BUTCHEY DYKES. FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID MUSIC.

WHAT GOT WORSE AFTER THIS MUSIC CAME OUT IS THAT NOW WE HAVE A RETARDED SPLIT OF KIDS FROM TWO MUSIC COMMUNITIES WHO CONSTANTLY WAIL OUT ON EACH OTHER AT THESE STUPID FUCKING DJENTCORE SHOWS WITH ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA OF THE HARDCORE CULTURE. NEXT FUCKING FAT ASS LONG-HAIRED FAGGOT I SEE BOUNCING UP AND DOWN DURING SOME "BOUNCE BREAKDOWN" GETS STABBED RIGHT IN THE EYES BY MY UNHYGIENIC TEN FOOT LONG TOE NAIL YOU FUCKING APPALLING APES. 

I FUCKING LOATHE METALHEADS, OR SIMPLY JUST ANY KID AT METAL SHOWS IN GENERAL. I'M DRIVING A FUCKING STEAMROLLER TO THE NEXT SHOW AND FLATTENING OUT ANY FAGGOT WHO PUSH MOSHES INTO MY VEHICLE YOU PRE DEVELOPED TEENY FUCKING  BOUNCING FAGGOTS.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

SINCE THE FLOOD - VALOR AND VENGEANCE

1. Valor And Vengeance
2. These Scars
3. In My Way
4. 24K
5. Up In Arms
6. The Only Way
7. In My Eyes
8. Enough Said
9. For Today
10. This World Is Dead To Me
11. Laid To Rest

DOWNLOAD
(LINK FIXED YOU ONCE-EDGE RUM-BINGING ALCOHOLIC XSINGLEFATHERSX)

BRIEF REVIEW:

OH LOOK IT'S ANOTHER FSU AFFILIATED BAND FROM THE EAST COAST OF THIS SHIT DUMPSTER-OF-A-NATION. A BUNCH OF STUPID TOUGH GUY MEATHEADS WHO CLAIM CREW STATUSES WHILE THUGGIN' OUT IN THEIR HICKY ASS SUBURBS. HOLY FUCKING WHITE TRASH HORROR. THE PRIVATIZED HEALTHCARE WAITING ROOMS MUST BE PACKED WITH INBREDS WAITING AFTER THEIR WIFE/SISTER'S WATER WHICH BROKE THE NIGHT BEFORE WHEN THEY WERE PLAYING DARTS AT THE BAR AND CHUCKING IT STRAIGHT AT THE WOMEN'S FAT FUCKING TUMMIES.

IT'S ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING THAT EVERY SINGLE BAND NATE JOHNSON HAS BEEN IN COMPLETELY COLLAPSED TO ABSOLUTE SHIT?!  IT'S A WONDER WHY NOBODY CAN TOLERATE THE GUY... MUST BE HIS UNBEARABLE VOCAL CHORDS AND LACK OF HYGIENE I ASSUME, THAT FUCKING HICKY ASS REDNECK WHITE TRASH. FROM DEADWATER DROWNING TO THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DEAD TO THIS FUCKING BAND BEFORE GOING INTO BUCKHUNTER, TURMOIL AND FIT FOR AN AUTOPSY. HOW MANY FUCKING BANDS ARE YOU GOING TO PUT ON YOUR GODDAMN RESUME BEFORE GETTING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM TO DISBAND? THIS GUY MUST BE EXERCISING SOME POWERFUL VOCAL CHORDS IN ORDER TO LAND THAT MANY OPPORTUNITIES. AND OF COURSE BY EXERCISING HIS VOCAL CHORDS I MEAN NONE OTHER THAN SUCKING THE DICKS OF EVERY BAND MEMBERS BEFORE GETTING TIRELESSLY THROWN OUT AND PASSED AROUND. HOLY FUCK. EAST COAST HARDCORE FUCKING SUCKS. GO FUCK YOURSELVES (AND EACH OTHER BEFORE DISBANDING, OF COURSE... GO FUCKING FIGURE).

FIGHT ME AT THE NEXT SHOW YOU FUCKING FAGGOT MIDDLE-AGED DOUCHES.

Friday, May 11, 2012

FULL OF HELL & CODE ORANGE KIDS SPLIT

01 FULL OF HELL FOX WOMB
02 FULL OF HELL DAMP REEDS IN A RIVER
03 CODE ORANGE KIDS IV (MY MIND'S A PRISON)
04 CODE ORANGE KIDS V (MY BODY'S A WELL)


BRIEF REVIEW:

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MODERN CRUST-TRASH BRIGE-NINE & DEATHWISH-INC ENDORSED BANDS LACK CREATIVITY AND PRODUCTIVITY? IN TODAY'S WORLD, THEY GET POPULAR! HOW? IT'S EASY... FOLLOW THIS STEP TO STEP MANUAL IN GETTING YOUR BAND HEARD SUCCESSFUL:

  • THROW FOUR MOST CUSTIEST LOOKING ASSHOLES TOGETHER IN A SUBURBAN BASEMENT AND MAKE SURE NONE OF THEM ARE (1) WILLING TO ADMIT THEY WERE SCENE KIDS FIVE YEARS AGO WHO USED TO LISTEN TO AN ABUNDANCE OF POST-HARDCORE, METALCORE AND DEATHCORE AND (2) ABLE TO PLAY THEIR INSTRUMENTS (AS LONG AS THE DRUMMER IS SEMI-DECENT EVERYTHING SHALL BE FINE).
  • NAME YOUR BAND SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING STUPID AND IRRELEVANT. COMPOSE THREE TWO-MINUTE SONGS, NAME THOSE SOMETHING THAT WOULD ONLY COME OUT OF A THIRD GRADER'S IMAGINATION.
  • RECORD YOUR TRACKS WITH YOUR DIGITAL CAMERA OR CELLPHONE TO PRODUCE SOMETHING OF AWFUL QUALITY. CREATE A BANDCAMP PAGE, AND GIVE YOUR MUSIC SOME REDUNDANT GENRE (POST BLACKENED JOCKY-POWERVIOLENCE DOOMY CRUSTCORE).
  • STAND FOR A COMBINATION OF ETHICS AND VALUES THAT ARE COMPLETELY ABSURD AND RIDICULOUS ("VEGAN PRO-MUSLIM ANTI-CHAUVINIST  FEMINIST-ENDORSED BUT PRO-LIFE EDGE GRIND").
  • RELEASE YOUR EP AS A SPLIT WITH ANOTHER BAND THAT'S JUST AS FUCKING SHITTY AS YOURS. CHOOSE AN UNCONVENTIONAL MULTIMEDIA FORMAT (CASSETTE, THREE-INCH VINYL, VCR, OR MOVIE ROLLS) THAT NOBODY CAN EVER FUCKING PLAY IN ANY TYPICAL HOUSEHOLDS. HAND DRAWN ALL YOUR SHITTY ALBUM COVERS AND EMPHASIZE THAT IT'S BECAUSE YOU SUPPORT THE DIY ETHICS. MAKE SURE YOU BRAND IT AS SOMETHING OF A RARE COLLECTIBLE, AND RELEASE ONLY TWENTY OF THEM SO YOUR FANS CAN PURCHASE AT AN OVERPRICED RATE, ONLY TO SELL IT ON EBAY FOR THREE TIMES THE PRICE.
  • ARRANGE A TOUR ALL OVER YOUR STATE AND CARRY A CREW OF IDIOTS THAT WILL ROUGH HOUSE THE BARS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, CAUSING HARM TO THE TEN PATRONS THAT ARE STUPID OR DEAF ENOUGH TO WATCH YOUR BAND. AND MAKE SURE YOUR FANS MOSH LIKE EITHER COMPLETE IDIOTS WITH NO KINESTHETIC IDEA OF WHAT THEY'RE DOING, OR COMPLETE TOUGH GUY ASSHOLES. HALF HALF IS A GREAT MIX AT THESE SHOWS.
  • SUCK SO BAD THAT NO VENUES OR PROMOTERS WANNA BOOK YOU. THEN PLAY OTHER PEOPLE'S BASEMENTS FOR SHOWS. MAKE NO MONEY WHATSOEVER.
  • HAVE AN INFINITE AMOUNT OF BUTT SEX WITH EACH OTHER WITH THE HELP OF DRUM STICKS AND GUITAR STRAPS.
I AM FUCKING SICK OF THESE TRENDY HIPSTER BLACKED DEATH POWERVIOLENCE CRUST BANDS THAT CARRIES THE EIGHTIES' YOUTH CREW HARDCORE MENTALITY. YOU'RE NOT HARDCORE. YOU'RE NOT PUNK. YOU'RE NOT METAL. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE, BUT IT SURE AS FUCK ISN'T ORIGINAL. THE ONLY THING I CAN CLASSIFY YOU FAGGOTS UNDER, IS NONE OTHER THAN JUST GAY.

FUCK OFF FAGGOTS.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

EXALT - BREACH FALSE MINDS

01. Loss/Rejoice
02. Misled
03. Warmth & Winter
04. Partisan Eyes
05. Empty Dreamer/Frail As Feathers
06. No Son
07. Serpents At My Feet
08. Onward
09. Pray For Release
10. Rejoice/Loss


BRIEF REVIEW:

I'M NO GOOD AT REVIEWING THE MERIT OF OTHER BAND'S MUSIC AND PRODUCTIONS, BUT I CAN SURE AS HELL RIDICULE A BAND ON EVERYTHING BUT THE MUSIC ITSELF, TO NO END. WITH THAT BEING SAID, THE LEAD SINGER OF THIS BAND IS AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING LUNATIC... AND HE'S QUITE UGLY TOO WHICH IS AN ATROCITY TO HUMANITY. (YOU KNOW YOUR BAND SUCKS WHEN YOUR LEAD SINGER'S UGLY). I WONDER IF HE JUST SIMPLY PUTS OFF HIS ANTI-PSYCHOTIC MEDICATIONS EVERY TIME THEY PLAY A FUCKING SHOW, FOR WHICH THE TEMPORARY WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS INCLUDE RUNNING IN CIRCLES ON STAGE AND BEING A FRANTIC MONKEY, SCREAMING POETICALLY IN A MONOLOGUE OR SOLILOQUY AS IF HE'S THE NEXT WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. WRONG, ASSHOLE. YOU ARE NOT SHAKESPEARE AND EVEN IF SO, NOBODY IS INTERESTED IN SHAKESPEARECORE. BECAUSE NOBODY CAN FUCKING UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD OF YOUR RAMBLING WHEN YOU'RE SCREAMING BLOODY-MARY INTO THE FUCKING AIR LIKE A PATIENT FROM THE INSANE ASYLUM. THIS FUCKING DEMENTED GOOF THINKS HE'S SOME SUPREME POETIC ARTIST ON STAGE, WHILE POST-SECONDARY PSYCHOLOGY GRADUATES ATTEND HIS SHOWS TO TAKE NOTES TO WRITE THEIR THEORETICAL CLINICAL THESES. NEWS FLASH DICKHEAD, SCREAMING BY YOURSELF GETS YOU NOTHING BECAUSE NOBODY IS TALKING TO YOU. GODDAMN, SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY. OTHER PATIENTS IN THIS MENTAL WARD'S TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP TOO.

I ONCE GOT LOCKED UP IN A PSYCH WARD BECAUSE I MIXED TWENTY-THREE HITS OF ACID INTO MY MILK DUE TO THE FACT THAT WE RAN OUT OF CEREAL IN MY WELFARE BUNGALOW. AS I JUMPED OFF MY SECOND STORY WINDOW IN MY LOUSY ATTEMPT TO COMMIT SUICIDE, SOME ASSHOLES IN PUBLIC DIALED 911 AND THE PARAMEDICS CAME AND STRAPPED ME ONTO A FUCKING STRETCHER. AND BECAUSE I WAS SO FUCKED OFF MY MIND ON LSD, I WAS EXPERIENCING THE GREATEST DEJA-VU AND SCREAMING FOR MY STEP-DAD TO STOP POKING MY RECTUM WITH HIS SAUSAGE AS HE DID SO DELIGHTFULLY FOUR DECADES AGO WHEN I WAS A VULNERABLE LITTLE MUNCHKIN. WITH ALL THESE FLASHBACKS WERE FLYING BY MY HALLUCINATING EYES, I WAS SCREAMING AND PUKING MUDKIPS IN THE AMBULANCE. AS THE VEHICLE WAS RUSHING IT HIT A SPEEDBUMP AND I COMPLETELY SHAT MY PANTS, ALL YOU SAW WAS POOP EXPLODING ALL OVER THE FUCKING STRETCHER. BECAUSE I ALSO HAVEN'T WIPED MY ASS IN THE PAST TWO DECADES, THE WHOLE VEHICLE SMELLED SO GODDAMN AWFUL THAT THE DRIVER ASPHYXIATED TO DEATH ON SITE AND RAN THE VEHICLE INTO A FUCKING DAYCARE CENTER. WHEN THE NATIONAL BREAKING NEWS CAME TO FILM THE EVENT ON REAL-TIME, ALL YOU CAN SEE BEHIND THE NEWSCASTERS WERE LITTLE TODDLERS ROLLING AROUND IN THE BACK OF THE BROKEN PARAMEDICS VEHICLE ALL SMEARED IN MY HIV-POSITIVE SHIT.

NEEDLESS TO SAY WHEN THE BAND SAW THIS INCIDENT ON THE NEWS, THEY WERE BEYOND IMPRESSED AND GOT IN TOUCH WITH ME TO ASK THEM TO TRY OUT FOR VOCALS. BECAUSE I WAS STILL TRIPPIN BAWLS ON ACID AFTER THE FIRST 180 DAYS OF THE EVENT, I THOUGHT I WAS MOTHERFUCKING KING TUT LIVING IN A PYRAMID THUS COULD NOT RESPOND TO THEIR REQUEST COHERENTLY. SO LESS FAVOURABLY, AS A SECOND CHOICE THEY GOT THE GOOF THEY HAVE NOW FOR VOCALS. GO FUCKING FIGURE. BUT YET IT IS STILL UNDENIABLE THAT I CAN PLEA INSANITY BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD, SO FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING GODDAMN FAGGOTS.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

CONTRA - THIS MACHINE KILLS


1 This Machine Kills
2 Learning to Count
3 Heart
4 Prodigous Sonance
5 Nothing to Me
6 Presence

DOWNLOAD:

BRIEF REVIEW:

STUPID ALBUM TITLE NAME. METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING, IF THIS "MACHINE" IS REALLY "KILLING" PEOPLE, IT WOULD BE COMPARATIVE TO THE STATE KILLING THE WHITE POPULATION BY THE WAY IT'S BEING RAN. IN FACT, THE INEVITABLE DECLINE OF THE WHITE RACE IS SUMMARIZED RIGHT HERE:

YOU GREW UP SPOILED IN THE SUBURBS, AND YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN SO PRIVILEGED AND SECURE THAT YOU FEEL NOT A SINGLE NEED TO BREED AND POPULATE THE EARTH. NOW INFERIOR BREEDS OF NIGGERS, PAKIES AND CHINKS ARE OVERPOPULATING THE EARTH AND DROWNING/STAMPING YOUR POPULATION OUT. THE FUNCTIONAL WHITE FAMILY PROCREATES AN AVERAGE OF 1.5 BABIES WHILE EVERY OTHER CULTURE HAS LIKE FOUR TO FIVE SAVAGES. WHITE BOYS ARE BEING SHOT EVERYWHERE YOU GO JUST AS MUCH AS WHITE GIRLS ARE GETTING RAPED AND MURDERED. EVEN IF YOUR STUPID AIDS-INFECTED DAUGHTER ISN'T BEING RAPED, SHE'S PROBABLY SLEEPING WITH THE NEXT NEGROID AT THE HOUSING COMPLEX RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR WONDERFUL NEIGHBOURHOOD BECAUSE CONTEMPORARY MEDIA HAS TAUGHT ALL INNOCENT WHITE GIRLS TO BE SOME  NASTY TRENDY-ASS RACE MIXERS. THIS MEANS ALL YOUR PURE-BLOOD WHITE KIDS' NEXT GENERATION OF BABIES ARE GONNA BE COMPLETELY MIXED TO MUDDY SHIT. AND INSTEAD OF FUCKING DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT, YOUR BLIND ASS LIBERAL LEADERS ARE SITTING AROUND WHISTLING TUNES ABOUT ACCEPTING THE MUSLIM ATROCITY THAT IS DESTROYING EUROPE ALREADY, AS WELL AS SUPPORTING SOME RETARDED MULTICULTURAL INTEGRATION AGENDA THAT OBVIOUSLY FAILS TO WORK. IT'S THE YEAR 2012 AND SCHOOL'S STILL PREACHING SOME ANTI-WHITE HISTORY BULLSHIT ALL DAY, EVERYDAY, ALL YEAR. THE BORDERS ARE MORE OPENED UP THAN EVER TO ALLOW APPALLING IMMIGRANTS WHO DON'T SPEAK A SINGLE LETTER IN THE ALPHABET INTO OUR RETARDED COUNTRIES AND EATS OUR SOCIAL TAXES IN THE NAME OF WELFARE. MEANWHILE MEXICAN GANGS, CRIMINALS AND KILLERS ARE STILL LOCKED UP IN OUR INSTITUTIONS UNDER THE TAXPAYER'S CARE. AND ULTIMATELY THE PEOPLE WITH THE POTENTIAL TO MAKE A CHANGE ARE EITHER TOO OBLIVIOUS, PUSSY OR LAZY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. OTHER RACES ARE TRAMPLING OVER THE WHITES AND BITING THE HANDS THAT FEED, AND MOST OF YOU COWARDS ARE TOO POWERLESS TO SAY A THING. YOU ARE FORCED TO ACCEPT THIS CRUEL REALITY BECAUSE YOU ARE WHITE, AND THERE IS A STIGMA TO BEING WHITE, AS MOST OF YOU FUCKERS ARE AFRAID OF THE HISTORICAL INJUSTICES MENTIONED AS A PART OF THEIR EFFECTIVE REBUTTAL TO ANY CONVERSATION THUS ULTIMATELY DEEMING YOU AS IGNORANT AND BIGOTED.

THEREFORE I GIVE YOU FAGGOTS ANOTHER HUNDRED YEARS TILL YOUR RACE'S TOTAL EXTINCTION. HAHAHAHAHA ENJOY YOUR FAIL FAGGOTS.

DICK MASTERSON - "MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMAN"


"MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMAN" BY DICK MASTERSON


BRIEF REVIEW:

THIS GUY IS SERIOUSLY MY HERO. IN FACT I'M SURE HE'S QUITE THE VOICE, REPRESENTATION AND SAVIOUR OF ALL SAD MID-AGED FORTY-SOMETHING SEXUALLY DEPRIVED VIRGINS EVERYWHERE WORLDWIDE. NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT I AM OBVIOUSLY ONE OF THEM. I WORSHIP THIS GUY AS IF HE WALKS ON WATER THE SAME WAY YOUR MOTHER FLOATED ON CUM PRIOR TO YOUR CONCEPTION.  HE IS IN FACT MY JESUS CHRIST AND MAY ORDER ANY CATHOLIC PRIEST TO MOLEST ME UP MY SMELLY FUCKING BUM-BUM IF DESIRED. YOU SEE, CHAUVINISM WAS A GREAT SPORT FOR ME TO PLAY IN HIGH SCHOOL AFTER GETTING REJECTED BY EVERY FATTEST FUCKING BITCH THAT GOT STUCK BETWEEN THE TWO WALLS IN HALLWAYS. TO RETALIATE, I WENT HOME ON A DAILY BASIS AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MY OWN MOTHER TO RELEASE STEAM. JUST AS SHE WOULD CALL THE COPS ON ME, I STARTED FAKING CRIES IN FRONT OF THE OFFICERS AND WENT ON ABOUT BEING MOLESTED BY MY MOTHER'S COLLECTION OF NIGGER-COLOURED DILDO'S AND STRAP-ON'S, JUST SO SHE COULD BE ARRESTED AND THROWN-IN INSTEAD. SEE HOW AWESOME SHIT IS? THE ONLY THING FUCKING STUPIDER THAN A WOMAN IS OUR PATHETIC FUCKING LEGAL SYSTEM.

I WILL NOW PROCEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ALLOW YOU TO ENJOY IT YOU FUCKING DUMBASS PIECE OF SHIT. PERHAPS THIS BOOK WILL TURN YOU INTO A MAN ONCE AND FOR ALL. GOOD THING THIS BOOK DOESN'T TURN YOU INTO A WOMAN, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY WE ALL KNOW THAT NO WOMEN ARE LITERATE SO NONE OF THEM CAN UNDERSTAND ANYTHING THAT'S NOT DRAWN OR SKETCHED OUT ON MY THICK TUBEY PENIS WHIPPED IN FRONT OF THEIR WHORE-FACES.

MAKE ME A SANDWICH BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU STUPID WORTHLESS KITCHEN-SLAVING FEMMES.  COME SUCK MY SLIMY ASS CROOKED DICK WHILE I'M WATCHING THIS GAME, AND REDEEM YOUR OTHERWISE LOST PURPOSE IN THIS WORLD.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

AGITATOR - ENTER VICE LORDS

1. Embrace Hate
2. Know What I Know
3. Natural Selection
4. Diseased
5. Sheltered



BRIEF REVIEW:

LOOK AT THIS STUPID PRETENTIOUS HARDCORE BANDS WITH CHEAP-ASS ALBUM COVER ART THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD GET ON MY ARM IF I WAS TO GET RIPPED OFF AT A CHEAP-ASS TATTOO PARLOR IN CHINATOWN DURING A CHARITY EVENT TO SAVE THE JAPANESE GOOKS FROM ANOTHER HILARIOUS TSUNAMI. AREN'T THESE FAGGOT STRAIGHT-EDGE OR SOMETHING TOO? WOW, TRIPLE THE FAGGOTRY, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. SO YOU FAGGOTS REFUSE TO DO DRUGS BUT YET INSIST ON USING AN IMAGE OF DRUGGED UP  GEISHA WHO LOOKS LIKE SHE'S BEEN SMOKING OPIATES OFF THE TRIAD'S THREE INCH DICKS TO SELL YOUR SHITTY MUSIC. I HATE YOUR FUCKING BAND AND THAT SIDE TO SIDE BULLSHIT AT YOUR SHOWS. I'M GONNA STICK MY LEGS OUT THE NEXT TIME YOUR FAGGOT FANS PULL THAT DUMBASS SHIT AND WATCH THEM TRIP OVER EACH OTHER LIKE FUCKING A GAME OF DOMINO: FAGGOT EDITION.

ALL THESE NEW-AGE HARDCORE BANDS THAT TRY TO IRONICALLY RELIVE THE OLD HARDCORE BANDS TERRIBLY SUCK. AND I WOULD HONESTLY WRITE MORE WITH THESE RETARDED UPDATES BUT UNFORTUNATELY WITH THE LONG-TERM EFFECTS OF THE METHAMPHETAMINE I'VE BEEN SMOKING OFF ALUMINUM CANS, I SERIOUSLY DON'T EVEN HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN TO DO SO ANYMORE.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

XIBALBA - SELF-TITLED


01 Bright Sun 
02 Madre Mia 
03 Never Kneel 
04 Fallen 
05 Time's Up 
06 We Deserve To Die 
07 Red 
08 Obituary 
09 Cold 
10 Cursed 
11 Spanish Harlem 
12 Salvation


BRIEF REVIEW:

OBVIOUSLY THIS IS ANOTHER RECORD FULL OF FAT DUDES. IT MAKES YOU WONDER WHY THERE ARE SO MANY FAT MEN IN THE HARDCORE SCENE. I'LL GIVE YOU MY EXPERTISE ON THIS SUBJECT AFTER YEARS OF EXPERIENCE.

YOU SEE, IT'S THE ONLY SCENE WHERE THEY CAN BELONG AND BE RESPECTED, OBVIOUSLY. WHEN YOU SEE A FAT GUY DATING BACK TO AS FAR AS PRE-SCHOOL, YOU POINT HIM OUT AND LAUGH AT HIM. WHEN FAT MEN TRY WITH LADIES, THEY GET NO SUCCESS. WHEN YOU SEE FAT DUDES AT INDIE SHOWS OR RAVES, THEY'RE JUST ANOTHER UNAPPEALING FAT PERSON.

BUT WHEN A FAT DUDE COMES TO A HARDCORE SHOW, EVERYBODY BETTER BACK THE FUCK OFF BECAUSE SHIT'S GONNA GO DOWN. SO GIVE HIM SPACE, DON'T LOOK AT HIM THE WRONG WAY, AND ALWAYS KEEP DISTANCE AND YOUR FACE COVERED WHEN HE MOSHES. KINDLY ACKNOWLEDGE HIM IN BETWEEN SETS TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NO BAD BLOOD, AND NEVER GIVE HIM LIPS. IT'S WHERE THEY GAIN THEIR SOCIAL STANDING AND BELONG. IT'S LIKE THIS SCENE'S PRETTY MUCH MADE FOR FAT DUDES.

SO DON'T FUCKING LOOK AT THEM THE WRONG WAY OR THEY'LL PANCAKE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. EVEN WHEN THEIR MOVES ARE SLOPPY AS FUCK AND THEY CAN BARELY KEEP THEIR BALANCE WHEN THEY SWING. JUST DUCK AND DODGE THE HITS, MANG.

ESPECIALLY MEXICAN FAT DUDES FROM SOUTHERN BORDER OF CALIFORNIA.

Symphony In Peril - Lost Memoirs & Faded Pictures


1. Shadow Over a Bleeding Heart 3:41
2. Letting Go Would Be an End 4:03
3. The Quotidian Succession 3:47
4. Sifting Through These Ashes 5:03
5. Beauty Forgotten 1:13
6. Lament 3:06
7. Unsteady Docks Along the Ohio 3:12
8. Portrait 3:23
9. Three Months 1:20
10. Can One Possess Autumn? 5:22
11. Bonus Track 12:18



DUDE WENT TO A BUSINESS MEETING WITH A POTENTIAL INVESTOR TODAY AND GOT HIT WITH SOME MAD STOMACH PAINS. HE WENT ABOUT THE SITUATION CORRECTLY AND RELEASED INTO THE TOILET, BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT THE TOILET THERE, IT WAS HIGHER OFF THE GROUND THAN NORMAL, LEAVING HIS FEET DANGLING. HE SAT UPON THE TOILET CONCENTRATING ON PUSHING OUT THE GOOEY LOG, BUT COULDN'T QUITE TOUCH THE GROUND TO GIVE HIMSELF THE LAST OOMPH HE NEEDED IN HIS TWIST TO GET THE LAST PIECE OFF. WIPING PROVED TO BE A CHALLENGE TO, MAKING HIM LEAN AT AN UNCOMFORTABLE ANGLE, LEAVING HIM PRONE AND DEFENSELESS TO ACCIDENTAL SLIPPAGE AND LOSING PRECIOUS MATERIAL POSSESSIONS INTO THE STOOL COVERED ABYSS. HE STOOD UP, GLARED INTO THE TOILET TO TAKE PRIDE IN HIS WORK, AND WIPED HIMSELF WHILE STANDING UP, WHICH, AS SOME OF YOU KNOW, IS NOT THE OPTIMAL STANCE FOR WIPING. UNFORTUNATELY, HE MISSED A LARGE PORTION, AND CARRIED ON WITH HIS DAY. HE ATTENDED THE MEETING SMEARING POOP ALL OVER THE INSIDE OF HIS BOXERS, MAKING IT NEAR UNBEARABLE FOR THE MEETING TO CONTINUE WITHOUT SINGLING OUT WHO THE PERPETUATOR IS AND ASKING HIM TO LEAVE. HIS REPUTATION WITH THE COMPANY, LIKE HIS UNDERWEAR, IS NOW DEEPLY SOILED.

...AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HENCE WHY WEBMASTER HAS BEEN UNEMPLOYED FOR DECADES ON END.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

SKYCAMEFALLING - 10.21

1 Intro 01:21 
2 With Paper Wings 04:54
3 Laura Palmer 04:48 
4 The Nothing 05:38 
5 Instrumental 02:04 
6 Porcelain Heart Promises 03:59
7 Healing Yesteryear 04:15 
8 Shallow Like Sand 05:47 
9 The Truth Machine 05:18 
11 November's Neverending 06:05 
12 An Ocean Apart 10:21


BRIEF REVIEW:

YOU LIKE THIS ALBUM? THAT'S GREAT YOU CLOSET EMO FAGGOT, ME TOO. I GUESS WE CAN BE FAGGOTS TOGETHER. WE CAN LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM TOGETHER WHILE CRYING A STORM AND SEWING EACH OTHER OVERSIZED FLIMSY-LOOKING EMO SWEATERS AND CUDDLE EACH OTHER'S FAGGOT ASSES TO SLEEP. AND WHEN YOU DO FALL ASLEEP I CAN PULL OUT MY TEN METER SKIN FLUTE AND BLOW SOUR NOTES ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING UGLY FACE YOU STUPID EMO FAGGOT. OKAY. BUT IMAGINE IF SKY ACTUALLY CAME FALLING ONE DAY THOUGH. THEN THE MAYAN CIVILIZATION WOULD POINT AT US AND LAUGH FOR MAKING SUCH A MOCKERY OF THEIR PRIMITIVE BERRY-PICKING FAGGOT WAYS FOR SO FUCKING LONG NOW. I HATE THE MAYAN CIVILIZATION OR ANY OTHER CENTRAL AMERICAN NATIVE CIVILIZATIONS FOR THAT MATTER. WHAT DO THEY DO FOR A GODDAMN LIVING ASIDE FROM RUBBING TWO STICKS TO SPARK FIRE IN A CAVE AND POOPING FUCKING HOLES?? WHAT A STINKIN' SHIT WAY TO LIVE AND ABSOLUTELY NO PUN INTENDED YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS.

REMEMBER BACK IN 2001 WHEN IT WAS COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE TO COMPOSE A HARDCORE/METALCORE ALBUM ENTIRELY BASED ON HEARTBREAKS AND WIMPY RELATIONSHIPS POSSIBLY BASED ON LOVE BETWEEN TWO MEN, AND STILL NOT BE LABELLED AS FAGGOTS WHICH WE ALL INHERENTLY WERE? ME TOO. BUT NOWADAYS THIS IS NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE. INSTEAD, HATE, DESPAIR, ABOMINATION, AND OTHER MISERABY BLASPHEMOUS AND ANTI-CHRIST THEMES SHALL REIGN SUPREME PRIOR TO BECOMING ACCEPTED IN THE COMMUNITY FULL OF HEAVILY TATTOOED FAT FUCKS WITH BEARDS. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME AT SHOWS YOU NASTY ASS CHILD MOLESTERS. IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME SOME MORBIDLY OBESE HATE MOSHING ASSHOLE STAGE-DOVE ON MY FUGLY HEAD, I WOULD HAVE ALREADY FILED FOR RETIREMENT AND MOVED TO WEST PALM BEACH IN FLORIDA WHILE DRINKING WATERFALL CHAMPAGNE STRAIGHT OUT OF SOME HOLLYWOOD BITCH'S PUSSY , YOU DUMBASS NO-LIFERS. BUT I WOULD NEVER GET THAT MUCH MONEY, FOR THE SAME REASONS WHY NOTHING IN THIS INDUSTRY IS EVEN REMOTELY PROFITABLE ANYMORE. THIS FUCKING MUSIC IS DEAD AND ALL YOU TEENAGE TOUGH GUY FAGGOTS WHO PROUDLY EMBRACED YOUR CREW, BROTHERHOOD, TATTOOS AND THE MOTTO OF "LIVE YOUR LIFE HOW YOU WANT TO" ARE NOW BEING EXPLOITED IN A QUASI-LEGAL CONSTRUCTION FIRM WHILE OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAA. THE AWESOME LEGACY OF HARDCORE KIDS.

ONE OF THESE DAYS I MAY CONSIDER GOING TO ATTEND A HARDCORE SHOW WITH AN EXPLOSIVE TRIGGERED BY A BUTTON STRAPPED ONTO MY FUCKING CHEST. SO THE FIRST DICKWAD TO HATE MOSH INTO MY SCRAWNY CHEST DELIBERATELY WILL SET THE WHOLE COMMUNITY VENUE INTO EXPLOSION. AS THE DEBRIS OF THE BUILDING MELTS INTO THE FIRE, YOU FAGGOTS CAN WATCH THE SKY COME FALLING FROM THE ABOVE DURING THE LAST FIVE SECONDS OF YOUR MISERABLE LIVES. PERHAPS THE MOMENT YOUR LIFE FLASHES THROUGH YOUR EYES WOULD BE WHEN YOU'D BE REMINDED THAT LESS THAN A DECADE AGO, YOU USED TO ACTUALLY BE A SCRAWNY LITTLE WEAK-ASS PUSSY WHO LISTENED TO METALCORE AS OPPOSED TO THIS PRETENTIOUS BUFF-FACED TOUGH GUY FAGGOT YOU THINK YOU ARE NOW.

Monday, April 30, 2012

DEADWALK - SCANDULOUS

01. Prom Night 
02. Conqueror 
03. High Tension 
04. Frailty 
05. Death Sentence 
06. 8 mm 
07. Jailbait 
08. It's All Gone to Hell 
09. Final Destination 
10. Kiss the Girls


BRIEF REVIEW:


BOYS AND GIRLS, LIFE IS ABOUT MAKING ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND BEING SUCCESSFUL. BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT NO MATTER HOW WELL YOU DO IN SCHOOL, HOW ATTRACTIVE THE GIRLS YOU ARE ABLE WHEEL, AND HOW HIGH PAYING YOUR JOB IS, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE THAT WILL STILL REMAIN UTTERLY UNIMPRESSED WITH THE HUGE FAGGOT YOU ARE REGARDLESS. SO NO MATTER HOW WELL YOU PRETENTIOUSLY THINK YOU ARE DOING IN LIFE, ALWAYS KEEP IN THE BACK OF YOUR FAGGOT MIND THAT ...




DEADWALK FUCKING HATES YOU




DAMN RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, YOU BET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING WORTHLESS CUNT'S LIFE THAT THEY DO.

PLAY THIS SHIT BEFORE YOUR PROM'S NIGHT AS YOU ARE DRIVING TO PICK UP YOUR FAGGOT MAN-DATE AND COMMIT A WHOLE SCHOOL MASSACRE FOR ALL THE YEARS YOU'VE BEEN PICKED ON AND MOCKED FOR BEING A HOMOSEXUAL YOU FUCKING GAYLORDS.

AND EVEN THOUGH NOBODY SHOULD TAKE A BUNCH OF FRENCH-ASS PUSSIES FROM QUEBEC SERIOUSLY, ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT AT LEAST THEIR LEAD VOCALIST IS ONCE FROM THE STATES AND THEREFORE SOMEWHAT MAKES UP FOR THE LACK OF MANLIHOOD IN THIS OTHERWISE GAY FUCKING BAND.

GO MOSH YOUR FUCKING DISPROPORTIONATELY SMALL DICK OFF