BOTCH - 061502

1. St. Mathew Returns To The Womb
2. C. Thomas Howell As The “Soul Man”
3. John Woo
4. Japam
5. Oma
6. Frequency Ass Bandit
7. Thank God For The Worker Bees
8. Framce
9. Third Part In A Tragedy
10. Rock Lobster
11. Transitions From Persona To Object
12. To Our Friends In The Great White North
13. Hutton’s Great Heat Engine
14. Man The Ramparts

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I'M SO FUCKING LONELY UP IN MY BASEMENT DURING THE DAWN OF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE THAT I THINK I MAY ALMOST MAKE LOVE TO A FUCKING ZOMBIE BEFORE LETTING HIM GIVE ME THE GREATEST FACE-LIFT OPERATION IN THE WORLD BY ALLOWING HIM TO CANNIBALIZE 80% OF MY HIDEOUSLY GROTESQUE FACE. IT IS OBVIOUS I WANT TO BE THE NEXT HOMELESS RONALD POPPO WITH MY BODY COMPONENTS COMPLETELY CHEWED OFF. UNLIKE A MALNOURISHED HOMELESS JUNKIE-LOOKING TWAT, I AM A FAT OBESE WHITE MAN WHO CAN PROVIDE ALL THE FOOD AND NUTRITION THAT A GODDAMN BATH-SALT ENHANCED ZOMBIE NEGRO "RUDY EUGENE" CAN EVER NEED. I DON'T UNDERSTAND SEXY NEGRO CANNIBALS. WHY DO THEY TAKE OUT THEIR OWN KIND INSTEAD OF DEVOURING MY DELICIOUS BODY PARTS? IT'S NOT FAIR. BEING CANNIBALIZED BY A WELFARE-DEPENDENT NIGGER WHILE HIGH ON BATHROOM CHEMICALS WHILE GETTING THE BIGGEST BONER HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT MY CHILDHOOD DREAM SINCE THE RACE-MIXING CULTURAL REVOLUTION OF THE SIXTIES!!

I DON'T KNOW HOW THE MIAMI DOCTORS ARE GOING TO "RECONSTRUCT" THAT HOMELESS POPPO'S FUCKING FACE AFTER THIS HILARIOUS INCIDENT. LIKE ARE THEY GOING TO COVER HIS ENTIRE MISSING FACIAL SURFACE WITH PLASTIC AND METAL COMPONENTS? MIGHT AS WELL MAKE HIM THE NEXT FUCKING ROBOCOP THEN. GIVE HIM A MICROCHIP TOO AND PROGRAM HIM TO STOP ACTING LIKE A HOMELESS NIGGER AND PERHAPS SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HIM IN THE FUTURE. AND THEN INSERT A CRIME-STOPPER USB PROGRAM TO MAKE HIM SHOOT OTHER CANNIBAL BLACKS JACKED OFF OF HOME-MADE STIMULANTS SO SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IN OUR FRIGHTENINGLY BARBARIC FUTURE.

BUT SERIOUSLY I WONDER WHO THE FUCK IS READY FOR THIS INEVITABLE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SHENANIGAN. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. I'VE DUG A BUNKER IN MY MOTHER'S FUCKING BASEMENT THAT IS SO DEEP, I SWEAR TO GOD I'M BEGINNING TO SMELL THE CURRY THAT'S BEEN COOKING IN SOUTH ASIA. IN PREPARATION FOR THE IMPENDING ARMAGEDDON WHERE ALL MODERN FORMS OF COMMUNICATION WILL BE RIPPED OFF AND RESOURCES WILL RUN SCARCE, I HAVE SUPPLIED MY SHELTER WITH ENDLESS FOOD, WATER, AND BATH SALT. FOOD AND WATER FOR SURVIVAL, AND BATH SALT TO JOIN THE DEAD IF I CANNOT DEFEAT THEM, OF COURSE. PLUS, INGESTING BATH SALT WILL OBVIOUSLY BE THE CLOSEST I'LL EVER GET TO TAKING A BATH OR USING ANY BATH-LIKE PRODUCTS, AS I HAVE AVOIDED SUCH AN ACTIVITY FOR THE PAST THREE DECADES. THE GREATEST THREAT NEXT TO ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AND/OR NUCLEAR WARFARE IS SIMPLY ME SHOWING MY GROTESQUELY NASTY-ASS SELF IN PUBLIC AND ASPHYXIATING INNOCENT BYSTANDERS WITH MY UNSURVIVABLE STENCH THAT HAS BEEN CLASSIFIED AS IMMEDIATE LIFE-THREATENING GRADE-A RISK BY THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION!! I HAVE BEEN A TRAITOR TO OUR NATION FOR DECADES AS THE USSR ADMINISTRATION HAS PAID ME TO INVOLVE MYSELF IN RESEARCHES ON BIOHAZARDOUS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION THAT REQUIRES MY TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN JUST LIFTING UP MY FUCKING ARM PITS. ZOMBIES... A THREAT? SINCE WHEN?

THERE'S SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BUT I JUST DON'T HAVE THE WILL TO TYPE IT ALL. LUCKILY MY TWELVE FOOT LONG PENIS IS A GIGANTIC FLAMETHROWER THAT WILL ANNIHILATE EARTH WHEN IT QUICKLY TURNS INTO A SCORCHED PIECE OF SHIT. AND WHEN I PRESS MY LEFT TESTICLE A GIGANTIC ROCKET LAUNCHES OUT AND TURNS ANY ONCE-GREAT CIVILIZATION INTO TOTAL OBLIVION. FUCK YOU, EGYPTIANS AND MAYANS. MY GIGANTIC WANG IS THE ONLY FUCKING WEAPON I NEED TO SURVIVE THIS DOOMSDAY PROPHECY. IT'S SO PRECIOUS THAT I DON'T EVEN NEED AN ASSHOLE TO SHIT. THAT'S RIGHT YOU ZOMBIE-FEARING FAGGOTS, I SHIT OUT FROM MY COCK AND PISS OUT OF MY BUTT. WHO'S THE ODD FUCKING WORLD-RENOWNED FREAK NOW?

PREPARE FOR MORE MINDLESS ZOMBIE UPDATES IN THE NEAR FUTURE. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID "MINDLESS". WHAT A TASTELESS JOKE. DEAR UNDEAD: FUCK ME UP MY RABIE-INFESTED BUTTHOLE.