BRIEF REVIEW:
SO ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED DURING THIS BAND'S INTERESTING BUT SEEMINGLY TORTURED SET HERE IN TORONTO'S TERRORFEST TWO YEARS AGO WHEN THEY PLAYED THEIR SUICIDAL BLACK METAL ORCHASTRA. AS THE LEAD SINGER WAS OBNOXIOUSLY ANNOUNCING HIS HATRED AND RESENTMENT TOWARDS THE HARDCORE SCENE AND THE DANCING RITUALS (IN A ROOM FULL OF HARDCORE KIDS), HE INSISTED THE "HARDCORE DANCERS" TO LEAVE THE ROOM CONSIDERING THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO OPPORTUNITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS... IN A HARDCORE FESTIVAL. AS FUCKING HORRIDLY GAY AS THEY WERE, I DECIDED TO PAY ALL DUE RESPECT BY BRINGING A CHAIR INTO THEIR PUSH MOSHING POOL OF GAY SWEATY ORGY AND TRIED MY BEST TO ENJOY THEIR SET. ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE LEAD SINGER GLARED AT ME LIKE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.
SO ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED DURING THIS BAND'S INTERESTING BUT SEEMINGLY TORTURED SET HERE IN TORONTO'S TERRORFEST TWO YEARS AGO WHEN THEY PLAYED THEIR SUICIDAL BLACK METAL ORCHASTRA. AS THE LEAD SINGER WAS OBNOXIOUSLY ANNOUNCING HIS HATRED AND RESENTMENT TOWARDS THE HARDCORE SCENE AND THE DANCING RITUALS (IN A ROOM FULL OF HARDCORE KIDS), HE INSISTED THE "HARDCORE DANCERS" TO LEAVE THE ROOM CONSIDERING THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO OPPORTUNITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS... IN A HARDCORE FESTIVAL. AS FUCKING HORRIDLY GAY AS THEY WERE, I DECIDED TO PAY ALL DUE RESPECT BY BRINGING A CHAIR INTO THEIR PUSH MOSHING POOL OF GAY SWEATY ORGY AND TRIED MY BEST TO ENJOY THEIR SET. ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE LEAD SINGER GLARED AT ME LIKE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.
"EXCUSE ME GUYS, I NEED TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING. I'VE PERSONALLY BEEN TO SOME PRETTY MELLOW SHOWS, BUT IT'S THE FIRST FUCKING TIME I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, THAT SOMEONE WOULD HAVE THE BALLS TO BRING A CHAIR AND SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF A MOSH PIT! NOW THE FIRST PERSON TO KNOCK THIS BRAT DOWN WINS A T-SHIRT! I'M SERIOUS! DO IT!"
AS ALL THE HIDEOUS METALHEADS TARGET ME FOR A NEW PIECE OF RAG THAT THEY CAN POTENTIALLY USE TO COVER THEIR FILTHY MAGGOT-INFESTED BODIES, I BOOKED IT OUT OF THERE BEFORE THEY COULD SWALLOW MY DELICIOUS SELF FOR THEIR SUBSISTENCE. I FUCKING DESPISE METALHEADS.
THAT'S THE STORY OF THE DAY BITCHES, IF YOU ENJOY IT, DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM. IT'S FAR FROM YOUR TYPICAL METALCORE AND FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY TO SLIT EACH OTHERS' WRISTS IN THE DARK. I FAIL TO UNDERSTAND HOW MOST METALHEADS WOULD STEREOTYPE THE HARDCORE SCENE AS "A BUNCH OF EMOS" WHEN THEY SIT IN THE DARK COMPOSING THIS CRAP THAT WOULD MAKE ME WANT TO BLEED TO DEATH.
IN ALL HONESTY IT'S NOT BAD. A BREATH OF FRESH AIR, ALTHOUGH SOUNDS LIKE THEY'VE BEEN SUFFOCATING IN SORROW FOR DECADES ALREADY. HEY, TORTURED ARTISTS ARE THE GREATEST INSPIRATIONS... RIGHT? SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
HI MOM
