BLOODLINED CALLIGRAPHY - THEY WANT YOU SILENT

1. Shall We Dance
2. Demonstrating My Style
3. Know When to Held Em
4. Not Another Teen Love Song
5. Sundress
6. Hammer to Nail
7. ...Know When to Fold Em
8. Saturday Night in Dixie
9. Variety of Damage, A
10. I May Have Been Born Yesterday, But I Stayed Up All Night

BRIEF REVIEW:

I SWEAR TO GOD I USED TO HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON THE CUTE AGGRESSIVE FEMALE BLONDE VOCALIST FRONTING THIS BAND. UNTIL A CLOSER LOOK OF HER REVEALED TO ME THAT SHE'S ACTUALLY FUCKING FAT AND HIDEOUS. GOOD JOB CONCEALING YOUR EVER-GAINING PHYSICAL MASS, YOU FUCKING GROTESQUE TRAMP. I HAVE NO CLUE HOW I CAN POSSIBLY WANT TO FORNICATE SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN GAINING SO MUCH WEIGHT EXPONENTIALLY OVERTIME... DID ONE OF THE BAND MEMBERS IMPREGNATE HER? OH MY GOD, BEYOND ME. I WONDER HOW MUCH HER SCALE CRIED THE LAST TIME SHE UNINTENTIONALLY TRAMPLED ALL OVER IT. IT'S QUITE HYPOCRITICAL BECAUSE I AM THE BIGGEST, AND THE FATTEST WEBMASTER YOU'LL EVER MEET. BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN STILL FLAIL MY FISTS LIKE A FUCKING BUDO-TANK IN THE FUCKING PIT IF YOU'LL EVER SEE ME THROWING DOWN IN MICHIGAN YOU FUCKING FAGGOT LITTLE SCENE KIDS!

IT'S PATHETIC HOW IMMOBILIZED I AM, BEING THE FAT, GREASY, ANTI-SOCIAL AND INEPT LOSER YOU'D EVER MEET IN REAL LIFE. THAT IS WHY I FUCKING COWER MY SORRY FAT-ASS HOME ON A DAILY BASIS IMAGINING HOW PLEASURABLE IT WOULD BE IF THE MIC SHE WAS HOLDING WOULD BE REPLACED WITH MY PUTRIDLY FLABBY DICK. WOULD IT POSSIBLY IMPROVE HER VOCAL PERFORMANCE IF I UNLEASHED A CONCENTRATION OF PROTEIN-RICH VITAMIN SUPPLEMENT DOWN HER FUCKING THROAT? OH MAN, THE BEAUTY OF SUCH IMAGINATIVE SEXUAL DESIRES JUST MADE ME JIZZ A LITTLE INTO MY JUNGLE OF BUSHES. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM TARZAN, THE KING OF MY OWN JUNGLE THAT IS MY FUCKING DISGUSTING PUBES! WORSHIP ME YOU LITTLE FURRY FAGGOT PARASITES THAT LIVE WITHIN!

I SWEAR TO FUCKING BUDDAH, ALLAH AND GOD THAT NIGHTS LIKE THESE GET SO LONELY SOMETIMES I HAVE TO SUCK MY OWN DICK FOR COMFORT. I'VE SEVERED MY SPLEEN A LONG TIME AGO SO I CAN REACH THAT FAR DOWN, AND THEN I ENACT AUTO-FELLATIO ON MYSELF JUST SO I CAN TELL MY INTERNET GIRLFRIENDS THAT I'VE RECEIVED HEAD IN MY LIFE. THEN THEY ASK ME TO SUBMIT A PHOTO, WHERE I THEN SELECT A RANDOM IMAGE FROM MY ASHTON KUTCHER ARCHIVES AND SEND IT TO THEM. AFTER BEING ORGASMICALLY FOOLED THAT I AM AN ATTRACTIVE POP-STAR AND NOT THE FAT, UGLY, DEFORMED BALDING LOSER THAT THIS REALITY HAS SUBDUED UPON ME, THEY INSIST THAT A DATE SHALL COMMENCE WHERE WE GO OUT FOR COFFEE. EMBARRASSED OF MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, I USUALLY WEAR A FUCKING MASK INTO THE LOCAL STARBUCKS WHERE WE ARRANGE TO MEET. LUCKILY ENOUGH, THESE DUMB BITCHES FAIL TO REALIZE THAT MY FACE IS BEHIND A DISGUISE. THAT IS, UNTIL MY MASK GETS SHAKEN OFF BY MY IRRITATING BOWEL SYNDROME WHICH MAKES ME EXPLODE ALL OVER MY ADULT-DIAPERS DUE TO MY SHEER NERVOUSNESS OF INTERACTING WITH FEMALES, AND I BREAK INTO AN EPISODE OF TURRETS. FUCK CRAP GODDAMN! TELL YOUR BITCH THAT SHE FUCKIN' AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A BUNCH OF VAG AND TITS!

I'VE BEEN SO LONELY FOR SO LONG THAT OUT OF DESPERATION I STARTED SEEKING AFFAIRS IN GAYTHUGDATING.COM. LAST TIME I HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND IT WAS WITH A FUCKING SRI-LANKAN NAMED ABU PAPI. I SPENT HALF A MINUTE LICKING THE RED PAKI-DOT OFF HIS FOREHEAD BEFORE COLLAPSING UNCONSCIOUS DUE TO SEVERE TOXIC POISONING. HOW THE FUCK DO THESE COCKROACHES LIVE? I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN NUKE THE WORLD TEN TIMES OVER AND THE ONLY ETHNIC RACE THAT WOULD EVER SURVIVE ARE THESE FILTHY COCKROACH PAKI'S. WOW, TALK ABOUT SURVIVAL OF THE FILTHIEST, EH DARWIN?